Attn: Army Wives!!! Help???

Question

My hubby's in his AIT training right now, and I moved down here to GA to be near him. It has added a big strain to our marriage--finances and such--while removing the pain of being 2,000 miles apart.

I was just wondering how other military spouses deal with seperations, and I was looking for ideas on what I could do to make my sweet husband feel a little extra special one of these days. He's not allowed to leave the base, so coming home is not an option right now. I'm leaving on a 3 week trip to see my family soon, and I wanted to show him how much I appreciate him before I go.

Any ideas?

Sorry that I specified wives! Sounds like everyone has great advice.

Now, in response to the "I should not have moved here" bit... I have heard that SO often. I know seperation is something I need to accept, but our marriage was in jeapordy, and I was living with my in-laws who were losing their house. I *had* to move somewhere, and it made since to come out here. Besides, in the policy letter it says that if a soldier's IET training exceeds a certain amount of weeks (22?), he's entitled to have his family around. David was in basic for 3 months, and then has been here in AIT for an additional 5. It will likely be May before we go to Germany.

Also, several wives have moved here to be with their husbands. I have a few friends, but they are all as new as I am to this. Oh, and his DS said it was fine if I moved down here, as long as I don't interfere.

It's worth it. I get to see him at least an hour a day. =) I just wondered if there's anyway to make it EASIER.

Answer 1

Hello, From one Army Wife to Another. It is very difficult thing to deal with your spouse always gone. But, eventually you work into a routine. I would like to tell you it gets better but, it doesn't. Right before my husband is deploying or school or whatever reason the Army is causing him to leave, I usually make him a nice dinner (homemade is more special than going out because its from the heart), Rent a couple of his fave movies, give him a massage, just make him King for a day/evening. Do everything that you know he likes, and that will make him feel special. Just being with him through this is probably making him feel special and good through out the whole experience. :) I don't know if this helped a little at all. but, I hope a little. Have fun & Take care, if you need anything e mail [e-mail] us Army Wives should always stick together. Take Care.

Answer 2

I'm not a wife, but I think I can help. I'm an E-5 (SGT) in the Army, and rescently transferred over from the Air Force. I had to go to AIT because my previous career did not transfer over directly.

Now, I"m sorry to tell you, but I think you should NOT have moved to the base he is attending AIT with (Fort Lee possibly?) He will receive orders to PCS (Permanent Change of Station) after graduation of AIT. I know it's rough being away from your husband (I was away from my wife for 4 months while attending AIT), but it could, and will, be worse. But since your there, you'll have to make the most of it.

The first thing you want to learn about are FRG's (Family Readiness Groups). They are for spouses, and are simply spousal support groups that share information. They do other stuff, and can point you in the right direction. If you have money issues, they can tell you who the financial NCO is for the unit he is assigned. Now, this might not be the case due to him still being in AIT, you'll have to ask.

AIT should not be too long. When you get settled in your new home at a new base, it'll be WAY different. His unit will become your unit. Never, ever be afraid to know all you can about where and who he works with. Learn from the FRG's, and all the other programs the Army has to offer (ACS, EFMP, ARC, etc.) There are support groups for every situation imaginable, especially seperations due to TDY's and deployments.

Now, something to spoil him with? That's a tough call. My first response would be an amazing meal, with a good beer. He's been eating some very bland, sometimes discusting food (sorry 92Fs, but you know it's true). To go out to a nice restaurant, order some good drinks, and eat a huge, delicious meal will make him VERY happy.

Answer 3

I am NOT a wife, but my care packages and letters have stirred up some jealousy among the sailors. :-) My close friend is in deployed in the Navy. There are websites to support Military wives and that give great advice on things to put in care packages. I am not sure of the differences between where your hubby is versus the ship my friend is on. But, you know your husband and the things he likes or may need. For example, you may know that he prefers a certain brand name of toothpaste. Send that or a certain type/fragrance of soap. What's his favorite candy? Have any pictures, poems, or songs that may bring back good memories? Send them. I try to do little creative things to the letters I send. I have little scrapbook stickers and I sometimes search the net for graphics to put on the letters. I found his high school pic this way one time. He LOVED it. Just be thoughtful and CONSISTENT, as any good wife would do. And buy A LOT OF STAMPS!! LOL

AND one more thing... send him letters while you are away as well.

Answer 4

Write him often and send him a lot of pictures. Those are things that he can carry around with him. The separations are hard but you do get used to them.

The army will tell you that the best thing you can do is be financially and emotionally responsible! They are (in this one case) right. Make sure you know how to deal with all the finances and go get yourself a part-time job to help out. It will also make you busier and able to make friendships so he doesn't have to worry about you being all lonely, poor, and unhappy! You can tell him how much you miss him but make sure he knows that you are coping well--still eating and going about daily routines. If a soldier thinks his family is miserable the pain and stress can be unbearable for him.

So write him a few love letters that he can carry around and whip out to read regularly! Also make sure he has a nice picture of you, (one he can show to his buddies), sealed in a nice quality ziplock bag (to protect against the elements).

Good Luck

Answer 5

Your cool. Hope it all works out for you. Support him totally and let him know it!