I am 24 years old mother of 2 and my parents won't speak to me because of choices I have made Is it fair?

Question

I have made a bad choice and realize it and am dealing with the consequences. My parents have disowned me and they are helping my ex get custody of my kids. The choice I made wasn't that bad. I learned from it and expect to move forth with life but I can't find an inner peace of why they won't talk to me Please help.

Answer 1

Feel sorry for you.But anyways Life isn't always easy and i am sure you have the strength for handling it.As u said that your choice wasn't that bad...Dont regret on whatever has happened.See forward,you are responsible for creating opportunities for your kids and their well-being.You need no external support cause you have a very strong motive in the form of your kids.As far as your parents are concerned,they seem to be too egoestic.N'ways, you have better things to lookafter.First is the proceedings with the custody.So please focus on it.And create a strong profile of yours.Dont ever show that you are weak in decision making...cause that will land you in problem as far as custody is concerned.Prove the court that you are elligible as well as mentally strong to take care of your Kiddoes.N'ways Now its not the time to think of what your parents are doing cause you are a parent yourself...and have to fight for the custody of your dearones.Focus on the kids more than your parents.I wish you all the best in your battle.Take care

Answer 2

Write a note (without giving evidence to be used against you in court) just tell them you know you've made mistakes. You've learned from your mistakes, you want to put this past you and move on with your life. You hope they will be able to put it in the past as well as see that you have changed. You want to have a relationship with them, they are important to you and you miss them.

Now, saying it wasn't that bad, is already making a justification and is not part of learning from your mistakes. It will not serve you well in getting forgiveness and repairing your relationship with your parents.

I find it really sad that they can't offer the unconditional love every parent should give their child. Ultimately if they decide they can't get over it, you will have to do your best to let it go, I'm sure it really hurts.

Now is it fair? We are really only hearing part of the story and not the entire thing, so it's hard for us to even really know why they are doing this. I'm it could also be considered unfair that whatever choice you made caused your parents and ex so much pain they felt you did not deserve custody of your children. Was that fair to put your children through this? Let's face it nothing is this life is fair. We hurt those we love sometimes more than we would ever hurt a stranger.

The biggest thing is the children. It sounds to me whatever has taken place has some far reaching consequences. Perhaps you should enter into therapy, show good faith to the court system that you are willing to do anything for your children. With your parents and your ex, this entire thing is going to effect them, how can it not. I believe group therapy should be looked into, your relationship with your children needs to take priority.

Answer 3

Your best chance for a reconciliation would be to get into counseling or therapy to deal with the reasons you made your poor choice and what you can do to turn your life around. If you do this, you are showing your family that you are taking responsibility for your choices, and that you are taking good steps to show that you really have learned from them.

If you get into counseling, you can ask the counselor to assist you in reconciling your relationship with your parents. Your parents are much more likely to listen to a professional therapist telling them that you're making progress and are sincere in your desire to change than they are to listen to you.

One thing you have to understand: you don't get out of a hole with a shovel. when you tell your parents that the choice you made "wasn't that bad," you're trying to get out of a hole with a shovel: you're digging yourself in deeper, because by telling your parents that what you did "wasn't that bad," you're convincing them that you don't really understand that from their viewpoint, what you did was apparently very bad indeed.

So stop digging deeper. Instead of telling your parents that what you did wasn't so bad, tell them that you understand that they are upset at you, that you did do wrong, and that you are now getting help (the counselor) to undo the wrong and try to make it right. Tell them that you understand that forgiveness isn't going to be instantaneous; it obviously took you time to lose their faith and trust, and you understand that it's going to take time and a lot of work to win that faith and trust back. Don't demand immediate forgiveness, ask for time to earn forgiveness and trust, then start to mend your situation.

Get a counselor and work with that person. Good luck.

Answer 4

honey, if this is true, then you need to believe in your heart that you never want to be this way ever. make sure you live each and every day for only your children. they didn't ask to be here and they are whom who suffers. i have no clue what you did wrong, but nothing is unforgiveable. take a stand and make the first gesture to fix things, tell them how you feel, that you love them no matter what. they in turn should love you unconditionally. but once again, i have no clue what you did. just focus on the kids and they will get you through. remember you come last the very day the first one was born. make that a priority. good luck

Answer 5

wow if they cant accept u or there grand kids then there not real parents at all there suppose to be there for u always no matter what u do expecally now ur 24 and makein ur own descions they shouldnt judge u on that u have ur own life now they cant accept that they can accept ur family and they needa butt out ya life i prob. not makin any since cuz im 16 and ur 24 but im jus saying.
but i cant help in anyway
mayb u can jus sit them down and talk to them and descus ur feelings towards them and how you feel and how you really want there respet towards ur own family because they had there own fmaily b4 which would b with u and u respected them all ya life now its there turn to respect you and ur choices since you had to out up with there chocies all ur life but i duno mayb u should jus tlk to them and brng the kids over and let them get to know tha kids i duno im jus saying things but really good luck!

Answer 6

They have disowned you because they feel your choices have reflected back on them.

Unfortunatley, poor choices tend to follow you for the rest of your life this is something that both you and your parents are going to have to live with.

I'm sorry.

Answer 7

Life isn't always fair. You acknowledge that you made a bad choice, so be patient with your family. In time, you can prove to them that you've grown, and learned from your mistakes. Best of luck to you in your future!

Answer 8

I'm not going to sugar coat it here, you say on one hand is it fair but at the same time do not disclose the event that occured that caused this rif. So there is not way for us to evaluate it properly, if it's not that bad then they would not have reacted this way I am sure. Was whatever you did fair to put your kids through this?

Answer 9

Is it fair? No. But as we all know, life is not fair. Unfortunately most of us have to live with the consequences of our decisions. Hopefully you have learned from your mistakes, and all you can do now is move forward with life.

Answer 10

I don't know the whole situation, but in my opinion, part of being a parent is always helping your children. You may not agree with their choices, but you should help in any way you can, if you can.