Was getting married wrong?

Question

My husband and I have been married for about 6 months now. We got married when I was 17 and he was 18. We were engaged for a long time. My mom kicked me out of the house because I was going to move out of state and my mom is crazy/medically ill, and my dad took me in. My boyfriend got kicked out of his house too because he was never home and was with me, taking care of me really. I had just been declared dead by my own mother. My Father let my boyfriend move in with us so he had a place to live. My dad took my mom to court to stop payments on my child support since I was no longer living with her. My mom told the court that my dad was letting an 18 year old man rape his daughter. So to keep him out of jail we got married before the next court date only a few months earler then planned. I hate that we had to get married that way. It was a wonderful wedding and we both are happy but does it make it right? My mom and I are on good terms now but its a bit weird since I moved.

For the record, and yes this might sound immature, but I honestly dont think that our age isn't such a big deal. Love comes in all shapes, sizes and ages. Besides I was only a few months away from being 18. We were going to get married soon anyway and I had my family to support me on that before my mom freaked out about the money and said all that bull about him raping me. We were never alone and we didnt have a room just to ourselves.

My husband is the best man I have ever meet. We both have had our fair share of hard times in life, the aweful things that people our age should never have been through. He was totally willing to get married. He asked me over a year ago. He stands by me no matter what and I can tell he truely loves me. He doesn't want to leave me and we arent going to have kids until we have a house of our own, good jobs, and the money to support one. My husband is very mature for his age and has a plan for life, which is one of the reasons I am so in love with him.

Answer 1

Hmmm Well, getting married at 17 and 18 the odds are kind of against you, then again one never knows you can always have that chance to "beat the odds".

Let me just say, I can VERY MUCH identify with you having a "crazy" mother. Mine... UGH!!! Always been touch and go as far as a relationship ever since I was 14 and I'm almost 40 now.

I can tell you, just be happy in your life and the way you choose to live it. Make smart choices for you and your hubby. Wait a little while before you have children and learn to be with one another and love that time.

For those who probably hadn't thought of it, parents of an underage child can claim "Statutory Rape" against another child, especially a boy 18 and above.... I have a daughter who is 15 and her boyfriend JUST turned 18. IF I was insane and wanted to be a total witch, I could report the relationship to the police and the 18 yr old would be in jail for "Statutory rape" doesn't mean he's touched her, had sex with her and she was unwilling or even willing, but just been in the wrong place at the wrong time and was 'interested' in my daughter... Seems a lil over the top to me...

Does it make it wrong that you got married? ... that your mother forced you to get married sooner than expected? Hm... sounds to me that if you had it planned to begin with, why would it be wrong? Seems she would be the one in the "wrong" position. Just food for thought...

Answer 2

We all do things we shouldn't under different situations dear. You having to ask tells me there is doubt some wheres' and that is not good. Try giving it more time than the 6 months and by all means try to NOT have any children for now! You sound mature enough AND I totally agree about what you said about your ages.Right? Only you should know that IN YOUR HEART!! Doubting though is NOT good. Don't worry about mom and her way of life but just get on with yours and now your husbands. Time will tell if a divorce is coming and I truly hope not! How does the husband feel??

Answer 3

Got married for the wrong reasons...not about the age cause that doesn't mean sh*t..but because you did it out of legal trouble. You could've fought that case...your mother had no proof of you being raped by your boyfriend....being married would make it obvious that wasn't the case, but then again there were other options.

Now the question is you and your man...were both of you SERIOUSLY ready to get married and devote yourselves to each other? Technically it could work cause if you stuck together even for the sake of getting kicked out the house and what not, then you two can devote to each other without much problem...if both of you are mature and patient enough to make it work.

I'd say gettin married is onlyl wrong when both of you weren't genuinely sure that the two of you want each other and ONLY each other, and that through any problems (such as that) you two will fight it out TOGETHER.

If you can't confidently say that...then yea it's wrong. Marriage is a choice of loyalty and companionship...only people who are seriously willing can make it right.

Answer 4

Honestly, it sounds like you did what you had to do. I hope that you and your new husband remember how much you love each other. My husband and I have been together since I was 15 and he was 16. We married 4 years later. My best advice for you and your husband is to realize you both will change a lot, but if you love each other, you'll respect each other no matter what. Never move back in with your Mother.
I wish you the best.

Answer 5

Getting married at your age for any reason doesnt sound like a good idea to me.

Answer 6

awww im sorry. well if you love the guy and he loves you, then that's all that matters. the marriage is right if you are in love.

Answer 7

yes

Answer 8

Only time will tell.

Answer 9

No doubt about it, it is wrong in your case,Both of you were so young.

Answer 10

is this a soap opera tryout?