in indian culture its no love, kissing, cuddling or anything b4 marriage, its like its a sin tht u mst keep away frm especially 4 a girl. bt then if ur brought up with this conditioning, how can u suddenly act luvey-duvey after ur marriage? how cn ppl hav this abillity to jst flick a switch n turn their sexuality on after signing a bit of paper or doing the saath phere? i dnt get it. i knw after marriage ill still think kissing is a sin. m i normal or m i jst weird?
2007-01-08 08:56:56 · 8 answers · asked by hollym 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, you are not weird, you have led a sheltered life. You cant just start to act lovey dovey. This comes only if you are genuinely in love with someone. You dont have to follow culture, you could break away from this, everyone should be an individual in their own right. It is not a sin to get to know someone properly before marriage, I do not know how this came about in your country. Life is moving on, modern ways are in place, so why not be modern.
Morals are something one should have inside, knowing the difference of right and wrong. Have a look in the Bible at the Ten Commandments, these are the main morals one should have and to follow.
Being wrong does not include getting to know someone, kissing them and cuddling thm and letting love grow, love is important, it should be promoted. It would only be wrong if you went from woman to woman or man to to man.
Give yourself time to look around before getting married, let your emotions rule, after all, it is your life, your relations lived in the way they wanted to and you must do the same. Hopefully you will outlive them, so you have to make the life for yourself that you want.
2007-01-08 12:28:45 · answer #1 · answered by rockandrollrev 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Religion and culture play a big part in a persons sexuality. You are right, how can things be a sin before marriage and not after? It messes a lot of men and women up. If you would like your children to be spared from this way of thinking then you need to teach them differently. Think really hard about this question. Do you really think that all of the people that have kissed before marriage are not loved by God? Would you think that all the people in this world that do not believe the same way you do are still loved by God? God gives you unconditional love. We give our spouse and our children unconditional love. If you never kiss or hug before marriage, it will take a little while after the ceremony to develop these feelings. If you have a physical attraction for the person you are marrying, it helps a lot.
2007-01-08 17:09:53 · answer #2 · answered by sunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not normal, but then I'm not Indian.
Doing all those things before marriage have a purpose and morality plays a big role in that. It defines limitations on intimate behavior between people who are just dating.
Now that you're married. Those limitations no longer apply because you have entered into a bond, a contract (if you want to call it that) which has no limitations between you and your spouse on physical intimacy...you kiss, you hug, you cuddle, most importantly you have sex. How else are you going to create a family?
If you don't like to kiss, then don't. If you don't like to have sex, then don't.
It's no longer a sin, you have been blessed and given the right of passage to be intimate with your spouse, I'm sure in your culture you are married by someone who has the authority to bless you and name you before your god that you are to be for each other.
2007-01-08 17:04:34 · answer #3 · answered by Querida 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, if you avoid those thngs, you will definitely have a better dating life. There will be no sex (or the emotions that come afterward), no unwanted pregnancies... and after you get married, you'll be more than eager to explore the unknown. TRUST ME.
2007-01-08 17:00:10 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You bring up very good points. Not being from your culture I can't offer advise, except to say always be yourself and stay true to self.
2007-01-08 17:00:59 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe you should know that there were erbs that was used, and maybe one was used for that certain thing, however, turning the switch on and off are for hookers who work for their money. me myself like having premartial stuff and getting to know my husband to be i want to make sure i'm going to satisfy him and him me.
2007-01-08 17:00:49 · answer #6 · answered by sweetgirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
religion and morals and parent brainwashed environment
can make one very confused.
go by how you feel and your instincts.
2007-01-08 17:00:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are normal...and weird...but i say go out and get laid and then you will know what you are missing......
2007-01-08 16:59:34 · answer #8 · answered by blah blah blah 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋