Domestic violence?

Question

I reported domestic violence against my husband. We fought and he hit my face, I can't hear properly now.
However, I'm very suprise that they took him to jail.
I bailed him out and he have to go to court on Jan 17.
I receive the letter stating that it's him against the people of Illinois, and I am as the witness.
I remember I do not wish to press charge against him and do not sign any paperwork.
Police just ask me various info like dob, ph, etc.
What should I do? do I need to appear in court?
I mean, we did had argumeent and he did hit me, but I do not wish him go to jail and we want to work the marriage out for the sake of our son.
What should i do? oh yah, this is in Illinois.

Answer 1

What is wrong with you ? He hit you. That violence won't stop. He should go to jail and figure out what he did to you was VERY wrong. Plus, he hurt you so badly, you're hearing is impaired. For the life of me, if you don't put this bastard in jail, he'll more then likely end up killing you. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ????????? Or you go to jail for protection, and let him stay out. God, you're pathetic ~~~~~

Answer 2

I agreed with "SDS", and you have to remember one very important thing, he hit you, you called the police, he went to jail, you bonded him out and now your wondering why its him against the state. Domestic violence is a state law and was made that way for the protection of people in your situation, he got what he deserved and given the chance, he will will do it again. Its a cycle, and on a very small percentage, some learn, but the scary thing is that for most, it makes them worst. You want to continue to live like that then fine, thats your choice, but stop wasting tax payers money if your not going to see this charge through!!!!!!! The police have enough problems to deal with as it is. Sorry so harsh, but thats why many domestic violence people get away, becasue the victims change their minds.

Answer 3

In the state of Illinois it is no longer your choice, when you called the police and they charged him it became the State Of Illinois against your Husband. If you have not already received a Subpoena you will, if you do not show up you will be arrested, if you show up and lie you will be arrested, Their is a recording of you calling in and on that recording you stated that your husband hit you. If you go to court and say different you will be committing Perjury and you will go to jail also. The smartest thing your husband could do is plea bargain take his sentence, probably probation and possibly community service. If he continues to hit you then you need to get counseling for your issues, no man should ever hit a woman!! I Live in Illinois and work in this field!!

Answer 4

If you're planning to stay with him, don't be surprised the next time he hits you and don't go bothering the police. I would suggest family counseling and an anger management seminar for him.

Now to your question....The police can pursue the matter because assault is against the law. The DA can file charges and subpoena you to attend court. If they didn't take action, and ignored the next times he hits you, then when he finally kills you they will have no record of prior offenses. Also they would come under criticism for ignoring the plight of battered women.....maybe even a civil suit for dereliction of duty.

Answer 5

I'm a domestic violence counselor in Chicago. If you want to save your marraige I suggest 2 things: First, go get D.V. counseling for yourself and your son quickly. Before any of the adults, your son needs to vent out a lot of stuff....if he doesn´'t, I promise he will see "hitting women" as normal behavior. Next get counseling for yourself. Your self esteem at this point is at a low. If it wasn't, you would not for one second tolerate a man abusing you whether physically, verbally, mentally etc. You are NOT in a healthy relationship at all. Don't get me wrong, it's great to work out your marraige...but you better have a concrete plan for the judge on court date. And finally, don't let your husband get off scott free...he definitely needs to get into an Anger-management class quickly before court. If the 3 of you walk into your local Domestic Violence OutReach Center, you will be guaranteed to be referred to specific services....and best of all, you can also be assigned a Court advocate.

I wish you so much luck....but especially to your son...the innocent victim in all of this. What you do from this point on...will determine what kind of an adult male he becomes....if you don't take action...he'll become an abuser guaranteed.....but if you do take action as a family....he will become a strong, powerful, healthy and successful man that will treat his own wife and kids with admiration and respect. Show this message to your husband.

God bless.
Dave

Answer 6

Unfortunatley, after you call 9-1-1, it is in our hands. At that time we will respond and make the case. You are a witness to the charges that we are giving him. In court, you can express that you don't want any charges to be filed on him, but you won't have that decision, it is up to the people of the court. If I had a dime for every time the female half of a domestic wants to drop the charges, I wouldn't be a cop anymore. The negative of that is, 9 times out od 10, I am back there within a month after he has been released from jail. He violates the automatic no-contact order and hits her again...or worse.


Do yourself some good, and leave. Even if he appologizes and claims that it will never happen again, it usually does. I have arrested a fellow officer for this and it happened again with him. Trust me, get out before something happend to you or someone that is with you next time.

Answer 7

I don't think it matters if you want to press charges or not. There going to do it anyway. I know someone who seperated after an incident like this and in about a month they got a leter saying they had to appear as a witness against him. You should call a legal firm for advise.
And for your sake and your childs I hope he never does this again.

Answer 8

Most states automatically prosecute DV cases because of the "battered woman" tendency to change their mind about pressing charges. Low self-esteem issues. If you have hearing problems and were truly hurt, why don't you want him to go to jail? Are we not hearing the entire story? What do you feel guilty about? Do you want your son to be abusive? Your son will only emulate what he knows. Are you abusive as well, so this is acceptable behavior to you? Good luck and try not to screw up your life or your son's too much!

Answer 9

many states will press charges if the complainant does not. you'll have to go to court and tell the judge what happened and ask for leniency. or, you could get an attorney who might be able to get the case dismissed (or you can try talking to the State's Attorney)...call an attorney in your area for a free consultation

Answer 10

ARGH! You think he won't hit you again? You bailing him out and not wanting him to press charges gives him permission to hurt you again and it sends the message to other domestic abusers that hitting is not only okay, but they can get away with it!
He broke the law and he needs to take responsibility for it.
If you want to stay with him, that is your business, but he needs serious anger management therapy and you need counseling for a better self esteem so you aren't so inclined to let him treat you like that.
He only hit you once. That's like saying he ONLY stole a car once or he ONLY committed arson once. It's a crime and it needs to be dealt with. The more you coddle his abusive behavior, the more your world will be turned upside down.
Speaking of your son, do you want him to grow up thinking hitting people is okay? You probably don't know this, but allowing children to witness their parents being abused is CHILD ABUSE. The scars are on the inside but they become apparent when the child grows up and is living with society.
You want this marriage to work, in spite of your husband hitting you, do it only if BOTH of you get counseling. If he refuses to do it, that only shows his lack of respect for you and you need to re-evaluate if you REALLY want to spend the rest of your life with him!