Does everyone go through this in their early 20s?

Question

I'm going through a period in my life where I want to be a family man but am not sure if that is what life has in store for me. I want children before I die but I'm afraid of being a deadbeat father. I'm a very restless individual, a normal desk job will not be enough, and money and status do not mean much to me. I want a career where I can be creative and push myself emotionally but that is not the best for raising a family.

Answer 1

In my early 20's I wasn't anywhere near interested in starting a family. I'm still not. All that other idealistic stuff, yeah, we're all in the same boat there.

Answer 2

I am 25 years old and sometimes I feel the same way you do. I want to be sucessful raising a family later in life, but I try to hold back on that as much as possible because I also have a job that doesn't pay me enough. I don't know how long will I be able to keep this job. I am also scared that I might not be a good mother, which will place a big burden in my kids' life. I am scared that I will not know how to meet their needs, make them happy and successful, etc. I don't want to say yes I will be able to do it and then turn out to be a total failure. And also, I don't want to go through life without getting married or have children and be lonely all my life because that will be a waste. What should I do? Sometimes I wonder too.

Answer 3

A lot of people become eager to start a family at some time in their lives. It's instinctive to want to reproduce. It's also normal to have fears. You're in your early 20's you don't need to rush into things, your also male which gives you a lot more time than if you were female. First you need to find yourself. It's not important that you become wealthy with a desk job. You will need to be able to supply your children with suitable shelter and proper food and clothing, but what they need more than material things is love and affection. It's not necessary to provide them with all the bells and whistles, it will probably make them more creative well rounded and responsible if everything isn't handed to them on a silver platter. You will know when you meet the right person and the time is right. It may be next year or in ten years it doesn't matter. Follow your heart, if your having a happy life so will your children.

Answer 4

Only you know what's best for you. But since you asked, in my opinion, you should get the restlessness out first. Get a career and be creative. Push yourself emotionally and be the best for yourself. Then later when you've decided it's time, settle down and have a family. How's that sound?

Answer 5

you are still young you have plenty of time to be creative, wild, and whatever else and still have to raise a family one day. If you don't want to be a deadbeat father, then don't be that is your choice to make, right now learn who you are, make some mistakes, have some fun and one day when the time is right you will know you are done with these things you will meet the perfect wife and raise a family and be an excellent father, whatever you put your mind to you can do !

Answer 6

Do not........ I mean do not have children until you solve all these issues. Yes, I think this is really normal for your age. You are coming into an adult world after being a teen and the world's door is open to you. You have a lot of choices to make but you should never have children until you've done all and seen all. If everyone would consider these things carefully then we wouldn't have so many kids with disfunctional step-families.

Answer 7

You should find a job working with your hands like construction or something. I want to ba family woman, too. but now is not the time. I am working on my business degree and have 1 yr to go. I have lots of dreams for my family and I, so I have to get a good college education. Great job so we can travel and benefits so if they get sick it won't put us in the poor house.

I am twenty-two and I know what you mean. Find a great job and then worry about the family part. make sure that its a job that suits your interests

Answer 8

You have lots of time. There is something to be said for sowing those oats before settling down. More and more people are waiting until their late 30's before starting a family. I'm glad I waited ... more financial stability, more life experience, established career are just a few of the advantages.

Answer 9

Yes. I'm not sure it was normal in the past, but in recent history I believe people are meeting up with more identity crises in their post-secondary/pre-career period in life. We have, a lot of us, higher education and no jobs that match the skills we learned and no hope of a job that fulfills the dreams we had. Sorry if I'm not cheering you up, but it has been nice to comiserate a few moments.

Answer 10

im 22, female and is living the family life. im engaged and have a soon to be 6 yr old step son.

before i met my fiance i was the opposite of you now. but having met my fiance and son, i have a new outlook on life and the way we prepare for the future.

i think that for you, if you truely want to have a family of your own, you should know that it takes a lot of time and mistakes to get on the right track. you have to know what kind of mother you want raising your children. you have to know where you want to live and what kind of living style youre going to be in. you have to know where your source of income is going to be coming from and what will the money be utilized for.

career-wise; is something you can t just jump into. you have to build yourself into something that sells.

i say think 10 years from now. where do you picture yourself? who is there with you? are you happy?

depending on exactly where you live, sometimes money and status is just as important.