If I asked my friend to get lunch with me do I have to pay for her?

Question

I don't have alot of money but need to get out. Would it be rude to not pay for her? Thanks.

Answer 1

I think if you ask someone to go to lunch and you don't intend to pay tell them upfront and in advance when you are asking them. That way they have the option of saying yes or no and there is no room for misinterpretation.

I think this is true whether you are going out with a friend or on a date with someone.

If you ask someone out on a date, it's kind of assumed the guy pays. But some girls feel if they ask, that they should pay.

If you're not sure whether they expect you to pay, just say "how much will I need to cover dinner at that place?" and that way you will elicit a response of either "don't be silly I'm paying" or you will know you need to cough up. Then you can politely cancel if you don't want to go!

LOL.

Always give yourself an out (I'll let you know, I was supposed to go out with a friend but maybe I can switch the date) so that if you don't want to go (and pay) you don't have to).

You have to learn to be a bit savvy in handling these types of things and not be shy about it.

Answer 2

Depending on HOW the question was asked, yes, you might seem rude not paying for her. My good friends and I can get together & each pay our own way, without another thought about it. Also, if she is a very good friend, she'll know you've not got enough to pay for both of you. One other thing, you might try lunch at home or brown bagging & meeting someplace where you can talk quietly.

Answer 3

If your invitation was explicitly that-- an invitation-- then you are obligated to pick up the check. Who invites, pays.

If your suggestion was more along the lines of "Why don't we both buy our lunch at Denny's today, we can shoot the breeze while we eat," and when you get there you ask your friend if she wants to ask for separate checks or is she okay just splitting the bill, that's a different story.

Personally, if I intend to pick up the tab when I ask someone to eat with me, I explicitly tell them at the time of the invitation "My treat," or "Lunch as my guest." When I receive an invite to eat with someone, unless I explicitly know that the other party intends to pick up the tab, I take the view that I will pay for my share.

Answer 4

According to normal etiquette, you should be the one who pays for lunch but if this is a close friend, it would be acceptable to discuss splitting the bill. It depends on how close of friends you are.

Answer 5

If you invite someone to go to lunch (or dinner or whatever) you should pay. UNLESS you discuss it at the time when you ask and make it clear that you're talking about going dutch.

Answer 6

i think it depends on if it's a casual lunch or not. if not, as in you are friends taking a break from work to get a bite to eat, each pays for their own meal. if something different, such as a romantic rendezvous, then whoever asks should pay for the meal.

Answer 7

No, you don't have to pay. They only time you should pay is if you say something like "Let me take you out to lunch."

If you just asked her to join you, she should know that she's paying for her own meal.

Answer 8

When my close friends and I do lunch, we all know we buy our own. If I choose to take one out for a special birthday lunch, then I would let them know that's the arrangement and then I buy.

Answer 9

Miss Manners: If you ask someone to go out with you \You are the one who pays. Male or female. Discuss this with her and say do you mind going dutch? I would like us to go out but can't afford to pay for both. Let it be known ahead of time. Before you go out.

Answer 10

If you invited her, and didn't specify at the time of the invite, then you should pay for her.

But it's ok to bring up the topic of going together and paying your own way.