My father does not understand English so whenever he receives letter, my sister and I will take care of it. Recently my father filed unemployment claim, my sister and I help him to answer the questions that the unemployment agency ask. Today, he receives a letter from them. When I was about to tell him what the letter is saying, he says something like you can't do anything right, if I need you to take care of me, it is better that I take care of myself than you take care of me and you are useless. People might say that he is just annoy that he is unemployed but he always says those things. Also, he always said that I am not always right and you are all welcome to say what you think. But when we say something that is against his thoughts, he will say something like you are wrong. No one can defy him.
2007-01-08 07:55:42 · 8 answers · asked by Allisandra 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If anyone tries to defy him, he would make you feel you never want tto be born.
2007-01-08 07:57:54 · update #1
It sounds like your father is pretty much like other adult males who come from other countries.
You should realize that he is that way because he was brought up to believe that the man of the family is always right ( even if he is wrong!)
You will not be able to change him. Just learn not to take it personally.
My husband was born in Europe ( he is 64) He used to always get mad at me when I disagreed with him. But I was able to tell him that I would agree with him if he could prove he was right and I was wrong ( which he could not)
It is a little different if he is your father. In that case, he will think you are disrespectful if you do not agree with him.
2007-01-08 11:54:32 · answer #1 · answered by Marilyn E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are just stuck in their beliefs & think they are always right. I know because I work with someone who's this way & am tired of getting barked at all the time. People, especially ones close to you do take you for granted (I imagine they don't mean to) because I think they just assume that you should do everything for them because you're family. However, no matter what someone is going through, they don't need to take it out on you. You do have to start sticking up for yourself in a nice way, since it's family you're dealing with. I was afraid to open my mouth at work, but now I do it when I need to or else you get walked all over - and that's no fun!
2007-01-08 16:04:04 · answer #2 · answered by darkshadows9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ones that dont appreciate are the ones that are Sick !
Imagine you doing some work for a freind and he says thanks and go away - feels harsh eh ? Thats how it is.
Courtesy is the word, and it lacks pretty much now in this world. Be courteous to others, hang to the right circles and someday, you would see that everything is much better :)
2007-01-08 16:08:12 · answer #3 · answered by Ehab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is old...and does not like to be in the position he is in....please understand he feels so helpless right now....he doesn't feel like a man anymore...It is hard for him to feel like the man he use to be...his little girl has to be the one who is the one who the one who
is taking care of him..he is helpless and useless right now...please be understanding...and if you have to...be harsh and tell him how it is....and tell him that you want to be respected and you will no longer want to be treated that way or you will not help him no more!!! good luck......your the strong one now....
2007-01-08 16:05:05 · answer #4 · answered by hatchetmistress 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well tell him " dad i want to continue to help you with anything you need but i don't appreciate you making me feel useless, i am doing the best i can, i am a child trying to help an adult" if he does not understand this then that is not your problem
2007-01-08 16:47:31 · answer #5 · answered by Ms.DaSilva 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well obviously your dad has a problem. I wouldn't worry about the things he say because he's upset with himself for some reason and not you! I know it's easier said than done, but try not to worry about it.
2007-01-08 16:02:45 · answer #6 · answered by The girl next door 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he would feel'whole' if he could learn english and have more control over his life. talk to him and maybe get him enrolled into a class, he might feel alot better about himself then. i think he's feeling embarassed because he needs help.
2007-01-08 16:18:11 · answer #7 · answered by inluvwithb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is stubborn and Proud and probably embarrased. Keep doing things for him and ignore the remarks,
2007-01-08 16:01:05 · answer #8 · answered by amylr620 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋