My friend met this guy on the net?

Question

says he's her soulmate. They haven't even met in person yet, but she swears he's the man of her dreams. What bothers me is this, me being outside of the picture can see things she can't. He's lazy, doesn't have his goals straight, he's about 40 said he was going back to college. didn't. Said he was going to do a lot of things and hasn't. I have a gut feeling he's a liar, but how can i open her eyes to reality wothout her resenting me for telling?
He's been divorced twice, and lives with his mom for God's sake!!

Answer 1

Well when I started reading your questions I was a bit peeved with your attitude toward meeting on the net. I truly believe the possibility of meeting your soulmate online is possible. And I have right to say this since it is experience talking. However there are some people out there who are just out to take advantage of others and that flat out sucks. The cold hard truth is that your friend is going to do what she wants regardless of your intensions. You need to let her learn the hard way, that way she doesnt hate you in the long run. Be there for her, to support her and stay one step ahead of this guy that way if he turns out to be the creep you think he is you will bust him before he gets a chance to hurt her in anyway. And if he turns out to be a really great guy who is just down on his luck then I am sure you will gladly eat your words to see your friends happiness. She obviously needs you right now so be there for her, just sleep with one eye open, so to speak. Good Luck!!!

Answer 2

Whoa!Creepy!
ok im not completely against "meeting" ppl online, cuz I have this friend that Ive been talking to for over a year, and on the phone, and she is cool as hell.
But-lemme put it this way- If she met this person in person, like normal, at a party or something, would she still be talking to him? My sources say NO. If this guy is her soulmate, and fate brought them together, LMAO, then she could cut him off completely, and they would wind up meeting each other by some fluke. Cuz thats what FATE is.
Another thing: what does he talk about? Does he talk dirty, try to have cybersex? Cuz thats what these creeps do. Does he talk about meeting her somewhere, and is she underaged-alarm bells are ringing- cuz these would definitely be signs of an ulterior motive.

Answer 3

well if he lives with his mom then hes a cheapo ey? perhaps een a loser if he cant pay his own apartment lieks things easy then. SO to me this tell me on that alone, unles shis mom is an invalid, that he is cheap so far and likes the easy way of life so how the heck can he support a gf or potnetial girl adn date her properly? ask her this?? then ok divorce should nto be held against people as when they try so hard and it cant work why stay in it but.. no one is the man of her dreams until she actually meets him and dates its all talk so far and talk is cheap.. any guy i ever know on this net is all about themselves or how great they are or all that make you feel good and its all words. its ******** and i have know people who met people adn it is the same as meeting people at a bar or gym or linray they all can be messups but.. go with your gut instinct do research check on the phoen number thru anywho.com adn be in a public place but most of the time men take advantage of a girl who is sad lonely divorcing or going thru it adn these are called predators on line. its ok to be 40 to go back to college as this day and age you need more and a different field for money which apparently he dont have or skills to make any lazy is the scary thing. lazy is a turn off the easy way of life makes a bad boy in my book lazy brings people down as they suck them up into their life to feel sorry for and then your trapped in emotions. I hate lazy men who live with their parents. at his age he should work as anything to earn a living. What can he possibly offer your gf? ask her this what is happy about this so far?>? not a gd thing. hes a loser.internet sucks up all peoples emotions thru chats chatter webcams words all words of fantasy so.. tell hert not to eb so dang vulnerable get off the net and out to real life and to the gym its better... really is...

Answer 4

If she is a true friend then you should just be open and honest to her about how you feel and what you see here. She may get mad or she may not. The thing is she has to be told how you feel in hopes of getting her head straight. Once she sees the truth she will be sorry for being mad at you should she do so. Good Luck.

Answer 5

I have the same reaction as you do. People have to learn on their own and make their own mistakes. Hopefully, her mistakes won't be fatal or traumatic. It takes a LONG time to really know someone and that's only if they WANT to be known and they aren't being willfully deceptive and manipulative.

Like so many people on the Internet, she has probably fallen in love with her fantasy of who he is, even if he isn't being deceitful. His track record certainly leaves a lot to be desired.

You can ask her if she wants your feedback, but say is succinctly and once. She'll ask for more when she's ready. Or she'll proceed without your input and learn at her own pace.

Answer 6

hmmm hard. well my friend said the same thing about a year ago and noy there is a ne guy in her life and the dude on the internet that she thought she was in" love" with... they are just friends now. If you have a gut feeling on this i would just simply say "are you sure he is telling the truth and tell her about how there is danger on meeting ppl over the internet." sorry that is the best i can give. God bless

Answer 7

Nothing can end good that starts out "I met this guy on the net".

Yes I know that people have gotten together off the internet, but cmon - pretty soon we will just have internet marriages, followed by internet affairs and then internet divorces with internet attorneys getting a third of everything.

What a catch this guy is too - married twice, living with mom.

On second thought, maybe he should stick to the net...

Answer 8

First off convince ur friend to have a Private Investigator to have a background check done on the guy. Get the P.I. to get u the names and Numbers of his X's and have a talk with them. Have an employment history done and that"ll let ya know whether the guys a bum. Then if you still ain't satisfied YOU go have a talk with him yourself.

Answer 9

o wow. What u can do is arrange them to meet each other asap, so she can realize the faults within him asap, and move on with her life. Have them meet at a public place, and go with her, so that your friend remains out of harm's way. The earlier you get this over with, the sooner it is for both of them.
PS
The part bout the guy living with his mom is kinda creepy at such an age.

Answer 10

I've had a similar experience trying to tell my friend that I didn't like the guy she used to date because he was a complete deadbeat & didn't even want to work at all. I spoke to her in private, said what I had to & then left it at that. It took some time, but I think she had to think about it for herself & also see for herself that what I was saying was true. You can't really force someone to listen to you, even if they are a friend, but you def. can make them hear what you have to say. She should appreciate your honesty. Just don't criticize him too badly!