Do not have room in my home for a baby shower. Thought I would have it at a restaurant in private room. That can be very expensive. How can I tactfully ask family members to pay for their own meal, or should I forget that whole idea?
2007-01-08 07:22:05 · 26 answers · asked by Obsessive Host 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You don't. It's not tactful. They are bringing a gift for the baby already.
What you can do is ask another close friend or family member who has enough room if you can have it there instead.
2007-01-08 07:46:34 · answer #1 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The showers I've attended are usually hosted by a couple of close family members. The rest of the people show up with gifts. I've never been to one at a restaurant. Just put on the invitation something to the effect that meals are at the attendees own expense. Then they know before they get there and they have the option of attending or not. I would not be offended by this if I know beforehand that's the arrangement. Women often go to lunch together and don't think anything of paying for their own lunch any other day.
2007-01-08 14:11:14 · answer #2 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really can't ask anyone to pay for their own meal tactfully. If you do, it's not a party that you are giving - it's just a meal in a restaurant with "separate checks".
IF you can't afford this shower, then why not try this "Lutheran" suggestion...Invite family over for a potluck buffet, where everyone brings their special recipe dishes and you can supply the main dish! If you break it down to a pasta dish baked in the oven, or perhaps chicken supplied by a local restaurant, you will cut down the cost IMMENSELY!
Now, it looks like you just got the family together for a reunion and a recipe "cook off". Your relatives will be glad to help supply some of the meal with their favorite specialties. If they are bringing a baby gift, you don't want to insult them by asking for money. But, asking for their special recipe dish sounds like a challenge and a "pitch-in" cause. It should be well received and work out well for everyone, since nobody goes hungry.
Best of luck and well wishes with baby!
2007-01-08 07:45:59 · answer #3 · answered by joe_on_drums 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you would come across as cheap. In addition, the gifts you receive would not be as nice as they otherwise might because people would be factoring in the cost of the lunch too.
If you can afford too, pay for the lunch at the restaurant. That might mean you could get more generous gifts.
If you are tight on finances, have either 1) a buffet style meal at your place where everyone just serves themselves and plops down where ever 2) get some one to host it at their place or 3) see if either your church, your employer or a social club you belong to will let you use one of their rooms for free. If you get a fee conference room, set up a buffet dinner and transport it their from your home, get it catered or have a pot luck.
2007-01-08 08:06:29 · answer #4 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't have to expensive at all. Here's what I did in the same situation. I went to the restaurant beforehand and selected three entrees that I could afford. Those three only were presented ( by the waiter) to the guests. They didn't ever see a menu. Alcohol was not an option... water or tea. It didn't cost too much for 12 people. Everyone enjoyed it, and I didn't make a fool out of myself by expecting them to pay for my party.
2007-01-10 05:01:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are inviting......that says it all. When you issue an invitation, you are offering to foot the bills. You can't invite someone to come to a party you plan and then have them pay for it.
there is no tactful way to say "Come to a party and by the way you are expected to pay."
Maybe you should get some of these close family members to be in on the planning. Then the cost could be spread over several people.......or at least an alternative party can be planned that those doing the planning are in agreement to split the costs.
2007-01-08 17:00:58 · answer #6 · answered by momwithabat 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should not host your own baby shower. In essence, you are asking people to bring gifts for your baby and to pay for their own brunch to boot! It is proper to let someone else hold a shower for you... relatives or close friends. Then, they cover the cost of the brunch or party. If no one offers to host the brunch / baby shower, I would drop the whole idea.
2007-01-08 07:40:54 · answer #7 · answered by shanequinox 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Any etiquette guide will tell you that you dont invite someone to a meal and then ask them to pay for it themselves.
A baby shower is supposed to be thrown in your honour by family or close friends. They pool in some cash and get your closest near and dear to help you on your way to blissful motherhood. If you are hosting it yourself then you have to pool in the cash yourself too.
Its in bad taste and very poor hospitality to do this. If you dont want to lose your face and have everyone you know secretly wondering about your social skills, here is a simple solution, dont hold the baby shower.
If you are doing it just for the free gifts your friends are sure to bring you, then the least you can do is be a little generous and give them a tasteful lunch. They may actually like you for it, little knowing whats really going in your stingy heart!
2007-01-08 07:32:43 · answer #8 · answered by RealChic 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
There is no tactful way to ask family members to bring a gift and pay for their meal at a baby shower.
2007-01-08 07:57:15 · answer #9 · answered by ladyaj 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First off, you're not "having" or "hosting" a baby shower, you are organizing one. You are asking people to come to an event for which you are charging admission. I, personally, think that is very tacky. It would help to know your relationship to the honoree and whether or not these type of affairs are typical in your family. If I were you, I might suggest to someone else that they host a party and that you would be happy to help with it.
2007-01-08 07:29:08 · answer #10 · answered by PD W 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋