A good friend of mine has finally left her abusive husband....I've been divorced for almost a year.
Her and I have both admitted that we want to be together, but I know that she needs some time alone to get her life together. I will be there as a friend for now, and wait till she is ready to move things further.
I know she has the hots for me right now, and want to make sure that her feelings stay like that, but I don't want to push it too far while she is vulnerable and still dealing with the custody battle, etc.
So the question is simple: How do I keep her interested enough so that she WILL want me when she's ready, but not interested enough to do something stupid that we will both regret later.
P.S. I'm new here....this is a great site!
2007-01-08 07:22:01 · 4 answers · asked by Paul L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have a lot of respect for you by your decision to give her the space she needs. It is clear that you care a great deal about her just by giving her needs this much thought. My answer for you is somewhat different than what you might expect. I think that if things are ever truly meant to be, then they will be. When you feel the time is right to ask her to go on a date with you, she will probably say yes because of her curiosity. I don't really think there's anything you should do in the meantime to "keep her interested". Just stay around her, as her friend. I hope that no matter what happens you won't abandon her if she decides dating isn't a good choice.
2007-01-08 07:33:21 · answer #1 · answered by A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all...I greatly admire that you respect and care for her enough to understand that she needs a little time. You've earned an A+ in my book!
Just be there for her EMOTIONALLY first. She's going to need someone to LISTEN to her. She'll have a lot of venting to do I'm sure. She's also going to be nervous and a little weary of men. Since you've been close to her, I'm not sure if she will be that way with you...but you never know. Be totally and completely honest with her. Tell her that you don't want her to make any decisions that you'll both regret because she's not herself at the moment. Let her know how much you really truly want to be with her, but you should spend some time together before getting "intimate". You might even want to give it a time limit, or until she knows FOR CERTAIN she's ready. Honesty is always respected by women...especially when a man is bold enough to come clean with his feelings. As for keeping her "interested", I don't think you'll have a problem if it's meant to be, but little things are always appreciated. BRING her flowers...don't send them, and do it JUST BECAUSE. Cook her dinner. Take walks with her. Take her on a picnic, or somewhere she's never been. Simplicity and sweet gestures. Compliment not only her looks, but who she is as a person. She's going to have some self-esteem issues to deal with as well. And it won't all be the physical appearance. It'll be the "what if I had done it this way...or tried to stop it..." Just listen to her and encourage her as a person.
Good luck to you both ......and be good to her. I can relate to how she feels. It's scary. God bless!
2007-01-08 07:36:58 · answer #2 · answered by wilsonsarahmarie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her. Be yourself, she obviously likes you for who you are and if you don't change that, her feelings shouldn't change for you.
2007-01-08 07:28:01 · answer #3 · answered by Mel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be honest and kindness to her,show your love deeply
2007-01-08 07:30:13 · answer #4 · answered by marine200338 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋