Secret admirer... should I break it to her?

Question

This whole thing started about a year ago, I sent her an e-valentines and she responded well. We dropped off from talking via instant messenger a month or two later. I picked up a relationship with another girl for some months and just got off. Out of nowhere we come in contact again just last night. Surprisingly she remembers a lot about what I told her a year ago, and although she goes to school about 6-7 hours away from me now, she is also taken.

It also surprised me to find out she still really wants to find out who I am. She told me some things that seemed sincere such as she really enjoys talking to me, I make her feel good, she wants to find out more about me. I never meant for the situation to blow up the way it did. It just happened. She was taken a year ago and still is, I'd be like a cat and pounce on the situation if she was single and tell her who I was. But shes still taken. However, what she told me makes it seem like she really wants to know.

Should I tell her?

I was going to send her a rose & card to her dorm but the university witheld the information to her inbox. I guess that was too borderline creepy. I will tell her straight up when I decide. Thanks for all your advice, so many women here, lol.

Answer 1

I probably wouldn't. She's taken. So, if you get to know her and start really liking her, you are setting yourself up to get hurt.

Answer 2

I did the same thing (except I am female and the guy was not taken).

This happened in the past couple of months where I started emailing this guy and the emails blew up big time. It went above and beyond anywhere I expected it to. I felt the need to come forward because I didn't think it was fair to keep emailing someone (esp. when the emails got deeper than I intended) anonymously.

It felt great to get it off my chest as I have never really approached guys. It made me more confident and forward. However, the turn out was not so good. The cat and mouse game ended. He said he would call me and never did. A classic case of he just isn't that into me.

So, prepare to deal with the consequences whatever they may be.

I would tell her that you don't want to break her up or anything. Do NOT get involved in the love triangle. There is a reason she is still with that person.

Answer 3

This secret admirer stuff can go undesirable. What if she kinda likes somebody else & gets your 'secret admirer' rose, questioning yet another guy sent it? What if she contacts another guy over it, purely to make certain she merely made a fool out of herself? What if she thinks its from another guy she has was hoping as much as now & she contacts him, questioning he sent the rose, subsequently making herself look like an fool? in case you wade by using with this, I propose you tell her quickly after which you are the secret admirer. Be arranged for an answer you probably did no longer see coming. you may get rejected, yet howdy, taking hazards is what courting is approximately.

Answer 4

Ah... a mystery guy... aren't you? It sounds like you have found a way to get inside her head and were testing things in the dating scheme. So you ventured off and took risks by asking women out. And now you are experiencing something you have never done before!

So the girl is taken and she still thinks about you! Well well well... that's a good story my lad. Keep it going! Sometimes people will say.... break up with your current gf and run back to the other.

Sometimes people say we always go where the grass is greener.

But that's your choice. Sometimes two is a crowd. It takes two to tango. Can you do the cha cha? cha cha?

Answer 5

what on earth are you waiting for? If you don't tell her she will most likely assume you were playing games with her all a long. Nobody wants to have head games or have their hearts and emotions played with.If the table were turned , wouldn't you be dying to know such a mystery. I hope you reveal to her whatever it is you are keeping from her. Is the relationship she is in now only due to being on the Rebound??? Call her or E-Mail her. Or you will always be wondering what if as she probably is as well.

Answer 6

If she's already in a relationship, you already know that nothing serious will come of it. But you don't have to worry about being rejected either. Not like if she were unattached.

If, by chance, she were to become single, and you then told her this, she may feel that you're taking advantage of the situation.

Probably you should share this information with her now... or never. I wouldn't wait for a "right time" to tell her. That "right time" may never come anyway.

Answer 7

I think that you should tell her before it is too late or she moves away because I liked a guy but I did go out with him but I never told him that I liked him and now he moved away. I think you should just tell her how you feel anyway it doesn't hurt to try

Answer 8

I would stay on the safe side and leave her alone. She is taken you have said it more than once. so you will only end up being hurt and forget about what she told you. she is not stable and is trying to play both ends of the field.

Answer 9

I would, just make it clear you don't want to be the home wrecker, and to get at you, she has to be done with him. Leave it up to her. There is nothing wrong with geting to know someone more. Who knows, she might find that she likes you more! Good Luck!

Answer 10

I would tell her...just make it clear to hear than until she is single though you don't want to be the middle man...