Should I marry someone who is not happy even after two years?

Question

I asked my girlfriend to marry me because I love her. I know she is not an overly happy person. So you might ask if I am generally happy why would I marry someone who is not? She is inpatient, has anger outbursts, often inflexible, her way is right, sets her self up for dissapointment with high expectations. I guess we all can be this way?

I wonder if I am overly looking at the negative in her. She can be kind and thoughtful. She looks out for me. She can be funny and intimate. She is forgiving.

I am no perfect piece of work. I don't struggle so much with those area's. I have fears of being controlled and not having freedom. I want her to be kind ALL THE TIME. I hate to fight. But I am learning. This is my first relationship. So what I think makes this interesting is I see things I need to change. So I am trying to figure out who I am and what I can do to well be the best me. I don't know who I am. I have become this more caring, intuitive, less selfish person.She is changing to

and she knows and we have talked about all of this. I know we are proably hoping that each other will get better or change. Or if this one aspect would change we could move forward with a great relaitonship.

I know I cook, clean, grocery shop, take trash out at her place (we live at separate places). I try to not do what I want to do all the time. It seems like she just keeps taking and taking. Just not sure what to do.

I guess I am trying to be loving and extend grace. I see it working on a lot of aspects of her life. But I don't want to be stuck with this person who will never be happy. And in turn my happiness will suffer.

But I do love her.

I know what you are saying. It is complicated by the fact that I see my faults as well as hers. How can I pass judgement on her and not on myself. If she is willing to keep trying and I am willing to keep trying. Should we keep moving forward?

Answer 1

Yes. Yes u should keep pushing forth. If u see potential for change then got for it. It won't be easy but if she makes u feel good how can ignore it. One thing I learned in life is "Anything worth working for is worth keeping." U have worked and struggled to mold her and along the way she has molded u too. So it's not as if you downs did come with any ups. U guys have improved each others lives. And as long as there's still progress then there should still be a relationship. I know it seems like it's hopeless and u just wanna quit, but u gotta have faith (belief in, devotion to, or trust in somebody or something, especially without logical proof) in the relationship. U don't want it to be one big waste, but if u give up now u don't know what u could be missing. Faith is the key!

Answer 2

I hate to say this but you don't really sound too thrilled about marrying this one - and I don't think marrige should be that way. But who am I, I won't "settle" for anything less than the best and now I'm 30 wondering how to have children on my own!

How old are you? You are a guy - you have time to find a better fit. sometimes love is NOT enough.

Answer 3

NO! DO NOT MARRY THIS PERSON! If you aren't happy before you get married, trust me...the pressures of married life are NOT going to bring peals of laughter into your home!!
Find somebody that you get along with that shares your zest for life, if you MUST get married and start out at least with that in your favor. Life is hard enough without digging a hole before you start trying to move up!

Answer 4

Do what's best for you, if you like this in a lady then be my guest. But never settle for less than your best