We recently found out that my husband has an 18 month old son who is the half sibling of my daughter. We had DNA confirm that he did indeed father this child. How do I seperate myself from wanting to be this child's mother when he already has one? And if we divorce what right do I have as far as visitation for my daughter?
2007-01-08 06:27:48 · 8 answers · asked by rednckgrl202004 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
We are currently seperated. We are going through marriage counseling to help us. If we remain together we will have joint custody of his son. If we divorce how do I get him to spend time with my daughter individually and my daughter and her brother together.
2007-01-08 06:43:59 · update #1
Well you really should talk with the mother of the child. I don't believe that young children should be dragged through court dates just because of there parents stupidity. Talk with the mother and let her know that you forgive her for her participation in your husbands affair. But the most important things to you are the kids and there relationship. Let her know that you want them to build a relationship and even agree to switch off every Saturday. One Saturday your daughter goes with her and the next Saturday let the little boy hang out with you. And PLEASE make it a point to never talk bad about the other woman (even if you don't think your daughter is listening) it will only make room for teasing when they get older.
2007-01-08 06:41:38 · answer #1 · answered by lilbitt_637 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you not mother this child? I am guessing that your husband will want visitation with his son. That would make you the boys step mother. That gives you some room to mother the child. And if you divorce your husband you are still the mother of your daughter so you have the same rights as any other parent. If you want to be the full time mother of your husbands son and your husband is trying to get custody you could talk to the boys real mother and ask her to give up parental rights to you. I am confused though that you say you want to be a mother to this boy but you might get a divorce?
2007-01-08 06:37:46 · answer #2 · answered by freakyallweeky 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry for your situation, hopefully the best will come of it. I hate to see people divorce but I don't know the details of your relationship. As far as separating yourself, I'm not sure how. If you stay married, it will be difficult especially in disciplining him since he's not your biological child. You might want to have a conversation with your husband about this and decide on whether or not you will administer discipline or leave it up to your husband. As far as rights for visitation for your daughter if divorced, the court decision will discuss custody and visitation. Depending on the situation, in general mothers gain custody of the children with fathers getting visitation, in good standing. You and your husband can agree mutually on custody or you can battle in court. It's easier if you each agree and get the court to set that schedule. I'm really sorry, it must be very emotional. I just pray for the best for you and your family. Just keep communication lines open with your husband until things are worked out. Best of luck.
2007-01-08 06:35:22 · answer #3 · answered by Shannon L - Gavin's Mommy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure what rights your daughter would have as to visitation, but if you did split with dad maybe it could be worked out that the father could have his visitations with both children at the same time. That way they would still grow up knowing one another, and could still have a relationship. As far as wanting to mother this child. You are this child's stepmom, and when he is at your house you should have some rights. As far as what those are the 3 of you(mom, father, and stepmom) need to set down and discuss what will work for you all. My ex and I are both divorced and remarried. Our daughter was about 2 when we both remarried, and she calls both step parents mom and dad. She tells people she has 2 moms and 2 dads, and my ex and I are both fine with this. We have joint custody and live about 4 streets apart from one another. She stays with us every other week and she is with them every other week. Her step mom stays at home with the kids, and the week my daughter is there her step mom does everything I do for her when she is here, and the same is true of my husband he supports her and does for her like her father does when she is there. There is no support order(since we each have her equally) and I stay at home. She really does have 4 parents who do for her equally and we all feel this is the best situation for our daughter. All 4 of her parents are good friends. I even go shopping with her step mom, and we get along great. I am just saying when he is there you should treat him no differently than your own child, and as far as the rest it is up to the parents to do what is best for the child. I am not saying that it will necessarily be what worked in my situation, but just wanted to let you know it can work out just fine. I hope you find your solution, and Good Luck.
2007-01-08 06:59:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cannot control how he spends his time with the kids when he has them for visitation, so you cannot be certain that he will be spending time with just your daughter.
It is okay to love and care for his son, that is a good thing. Try joining a stepparent support group so that you can express your feelings an emotions to people who understand and have been there.
It is good that you are trying to work things out with your husband. You have had a lot of stress recently with finding out that he has another child, take it slow and hopefully with some extra support you will be able to get through this with your family in tact
2007-01-08 09:52:40 · answer #5 · answered by Julie c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the circumstance you or your husband may receive full or joint custody of your daughter. My only suggestion to you is to work out during the divorce proceedings custody and visitation rights. Most likely you will share joint custody of your daughter unless the Judge feels that either you or your husband do not warrant custody of your daughter (i.e., as a result of abuse).
2007-01-08 06:36:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You file for a divorce if its your biological daughter as well as his then you can let him have visitation rights on the weekends.
2007-01-08 06:36:02 · answer #7 · answered by Mary O 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-30 08:43:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋