how do you get anywhere with shy guys?

Question

when they dont give much off and you cant tell if they like you or not ie mixed signals ie hot and cold. The thing si im confused with him is he being nice or over friendly as hes been telling me stuff i dont necessarily think he tells everyone and if i make a comment hell try and think of something to agree on. Like ill say oh xmas is like any other day and hell be yeah i know or ill say i wish i had a drumset as a kid and hell be like me too. He also tries to cheer me up when im miserable

Answer 1

TAKE IT SLOWLY AND DON'T JUMP INTO SEXUAL MATTERS TOO SOON. JUST ACT LIKE FRIENDS AND WHEN HE GROWS MORE CONFIDENT, YOU CAN MOVE ON

Answer 2

I am a shy guy and I have been in that situation you have described a gazillion times. I think he can say things to you that he would not normally tell everyone because I know (from experience), that he feels he can trust you, especially as you are a girl as some guys don't like to show their mates (other guys) that they have a sensitive side.

You also said he agrees with you a lot. Simple really, he doesn't want to say anything that might upset you.
It is hard, if not impossible to work out your reaction if he were to disagree with you, and even the slightest hint that you are upset could make him freak out, he may then keep saying sorry loads of times, which often makes things worse.

And cheering you up when you're miserable - if he is anything like me, if someone, especially a girl is upset, he will move mountains to make her feel better, but sometimes, and I know this, he can go too far and may start to be pushy. This makes both of you miserable so don't let this happen.

I bet he doesn't show any kind of emotional feelings towards you, and the chances are he wouldn't be able to detect them if you showed any feelings towards him, unless you made it blatently obvious. I know it all seems strange, but its normal (I think so anyway) You will also find it normal if he stutters, you may feel awkward but whatever you do, do not laugh as this will make him worse.

Hope this helps
good luck

Answer 3

I love the shy, quiet type, but that is a big problem. They often take a lot of work, lol. And it's hard to tell if they're just being nice, friendly or are interested. What you wrote sounded exactly like a situation I'd been in with this cute quiet guy at a place I used to work. It seriously seemed to me like he was interested sometimes, and I flirted a lot, but other times... I was just another co-worker. mixed signals :P lol.

So I made the first move [besides flirting like hell, because I get told I did/do that a lot with everyone *wry grin*], and asked him out. At first I got that he was always busy, with two jobs and helping his family out, no free time for himself, but later, after trying again, just by talking and listening to what he said to others, I got that he wasn't really interested, just friendly- he was still really pining after this other girl he was too shy to talk to.

My advice- try to draw him out some more, talking [and more than the one-liners it sounds like he gives too often], look deeper for answers, body language, investigate some even, very subtley, maybe ask others about him. Then make the first move, ask him out. That's the only way you can really find out with shy/quiet types, I think. Be straight-forward about it and take initiative. From what little you said, it sounds like he's just being friendly, but you never know.

Answer 4

next time the two of you are alone talking tell him how good he makes you feel and how much you enjoy being around him. it should be pretty easy to tell how he feels about you then. If he becomes uncomfortable and tries to laugh it off he probably only likes you as a friend. But if he returns the compliment without any noticeable attempts at avoiding it then the chances are that he feels the same.

The problem with shy people is that you have to put yourself out on a ledge a little if you want to move things forward, there's no way to avoid it unfortunatly. On the plus side, people who are naturaly shy find it hard to interact with other people and usually go out of thier way to avoid intimate situations, if he's making the effort to overcome his discomfort with those kind of situations for you then there must be something there right?

hope it works out for you.

Answer 5

hey im shy and i would a gree with who i like all the time ..... if i could talk to her .... any way bac yo you yes he likes you the way to deeal with it is to send him an unmisable signle like asking him if he would like to go to the cinema but dont say just as friends that way his mind will say to him you hae a grate chance hear .... and al that palava but if you can see he wants to say some thing help him out a bit by if it is a skary film huging him durin a scary bit or some thing if he likes you he will let it hapon if he dose not he wil feal unconfortabl which is a signe that is unmistakable and can not be duiiscuised oh and another singn is if he asks if he can get you a drink or a pack of sweats ... but dont be afraid if this dose not happen

and finaly good look hope you get what you want and it is nike that some girls like the nice shy guy's bet is is my luck though that insted of me it is some other nice guy thow ........ ha oh well ill move on again.

Answer 6

Maybe this person just wants to be your friend. Maybe he doesn't want to offend you and thinks that by agreeing with you that will make you like him better. I wouldn't worry much about it. I have found that most shy guys are looking for the "right" girl. They don't tend to "fool" around like the other guys do. You should just be grateful that you have a friendship with him. If something is meant to come of it, he will let you know. Thank you and good luck.

Answer 7

Be patient with him. It sounds like he likes you. If you can work through some of the initial ackwardness with him, then you can get to a much better place. If you establish a strong relationship with a shy person, then you'll get treated like a queen. He will be loyal and loving because he will appreciate you. So be patient and try to nudge him along a little. As long as he is staying around you, he likes you.

Answer 8

Speaking from experience (of being a shy guy) - you likely need to make your own interest very clear/explicit. I've had a number of occassions when months/years after the fact I realised I'd missed a potential opportunity with someone who was interested in me and being subtle about it. I was so rubbish at reading the signals that they decided I wasn't interested when infact I was, but just living on another planet!

Answer 9

The key is to make him at ease and then just ask him if he likes you.

Being shy won't make him dishonest. Shyness can be overcome once the sufferer is relaxed and comfortable with the situation they are in.

It will take time, but shy people tend to think alot so he will probably make an excellent thoughtful boyfriend.

Answer 10

I'm a very shy guy myself, which is probably why I've only dated a few times in my life. But I always wait for the girl to make the first move, because I'm too shy to myself. So I would say make the first move.

Answer 11

find out what he's REALLY interested and ask him about it. Or do it together.... If you do all the talking you won't get anywhere really. Relationships are about getting to know each other. You may have to be patient. Make it a point to keep trying to draw him out. You just might have to be taking all the initiative at first.