Our little girl is scared to death at night now that we took her pacifier away. Any suggestions?

Question

She is 23mo old and from the time she was 1 until now we would put her pacifier in her mouth and put her in her own bed (crib, toddler bed, now twin size bed). She would tell us night night and be out at 7:30 each night. She would even tell us she was ready to go to bed, gather up her babies, blankies, and pacifier and want us to take her upstairs. Christmas day we took her pacifier away from her and she has not slept in her bed again. She says she is scared, it is dark, etc. We can only get her to sleep if both my husband and I are laying right beside her in our bed. How do you get them to be unafraid of the dark or whatever it is she is insecure about since she lost her security object(pacifier)? I have even thought about letting her have her pacifier just at night, but don't real sure that is a good idea.

Answer 1

Well, she needs her passy but that is not an option. Here is what I would try and I don't even know that it will work. Take her to the store and let her pick out yet another lubby toy that is her own, guide her towards the soft things and what have you. Let her get what she wants.

Now, put her back in her bed and sit with her first on her bed at night for a week, playing with her each night with the lubby toy you bought her. You are creating a warm and secure memory in her room which is what she had with the passy. Now you move to the side of the bed and continue to play with her till she falls asleep at night now move away from the bed after a week or so but stay in the room. Kiss her good night play with the what ever it is for a few moments and then move away from the bed but do not go out of the room. Now that you have worked your way to the door go out the door and sit out side of it making a bit of noise to let her know you are still there. In time she will be able to handle you walking out of the room but always play with the lubby toy, and the reason why you want to buy a knew is because the old ones are associated with the passy. They may even have the druely passy smell which reminds her of the passy.

This works with most children but not with all. It worked with three of my sisters kids and only one of my sister in laws kids, I had to get a tv for my son who is now seven years old but he is autistic and his needs are different.

Answer 2

I do not think you should give the pacifier back. The longer she uses it, there are more chances of her having her tooth ridge malformed (for more than the pacifier's maker says they are orthodontic or whatever) no mention the dependence it creates.

You are doing the right thing, being with her while she falls asleep is a good way to reassure her, but you have to have allot of patience because you would have to be doing it for months!

I would recommend you to include a nightlight for her room, and keep the lights off (with the night light on) when she gets into her room. Get her into by holding her firs. If she is terrified of getting into her room, ge a dimmer for the room light, and turn it down a little every day. Also it would help a night time story and give her a teddy bear to hug.

Be sure there are any scary things (or things that could look scary to her or make shadows) in her room, and when she says something is scaring her, ask her what and where, and go to it with her and show her what that is.

I hope it helps.
Good luck!

Answer 3

Wow -- that's a toughie.

Have you tried a nightlight in her room?

How about if she sleeps with her bedroom door open? (That will probably only work if she's in a quiet part of the house, though, and you should close it when she falls asleep to reduce the risk of her inhaling smoke in case of a late-night fire. Don't mean to scare you, but my husband is a firefighter and insists on that kind of thing!)

Could she fall asleep with music or a radio on?

Maybe, as part of a bedtime routine, you or your husband could "go over" the room with her so that she can point out scary spots, and you can show her that they aren't scary at all, like under the bed or inside the closet. Maybe you could chase the monsters away. :) My dad did that with me for a couple of days after I watched a horror movie I wasn't supposed to see when I was a kid.

You could even try substituting another security object for her pacifier, like a big stuffed lion or bear that can "protect" her from anything scary in the dark. I know that's just a temporary fix, but by the time you have to move on to another object, she may have outgrown her fear.

I think nearly every kid goes through a phase where they are afraid of the dark. Just do what works for you and her to get through it and make your little girl feel safe and loved.

Hope that helps!

Answer 4

Pacifiers are just for the parents so they don't have to deal with the real problems babies have when they cry. Sound like your 2 year old sure has played you guys to the hilt! Sucking on a pacifier too long can damage the roof of their mouth. Read her a book or turn a radio on that has soft music...or play a CD. Get a neat looking night light. Teach her that she has her own bedroom, and that she is now a young lady. And young ladies don't suck on baby pacifiers!!

Answer 5

If shes afraid of the dark then make the dark go away. The dark has nothing to do with a pacifier. Get her a couple of night lites and see if they work. Make her some Monster Spray (olds spray bottle that works half full of water with some febreeze in it) she can spray the good spray that gets rid of monsters from her room. Try dealing with the dark thing first because it may have nothing to do with the pacifier.

Answer 6

A lot of experts say that at18 months, it's a good idea to pull the plug on the pacifier, so to speak. But a lot of children have problems sleeping with out it.

Your baby is only 5 months away from that, and the fact that she needs it to sleep is not unheard of.

You aren't doing any harm by letting her sleep with the pacifier.

Answer 7

Each child is individual to how they will grow. My daughter sucked her thumb until she was 19. I thought this was terrible and worried about her a lot. but she is now a full grown women with three children, full time work and is extremely independent. From this I came to understand we have to let our children grow in the way that is natural to them. Give the pacfier back and see if this removes the fear of the night.

I had the fear of the night until I was 40. To many people tried to force me to overcome it. It made it worst. I ended up removing the fear myself in small steps when I was ready to.

Answer 8

well if she is saying it is dark maybe a night light would help or give her a special baby or blanket just tell her about her baby and how her baby is going to sleep and she needs to lay with her like a big girl and put her baby to bed kinda like she is the mommy and she needs to stay there with the baby

Answer 9

To get the dummy of my oldest son, we collected all the dummys in the house, put them on the table then i let his help me cut the rubber ends off all of them. He loved that he was old enough to help mammy use scissors, which meant he was too old for a dummy. So every time he asked for the dummy i said ''remember we cut them up coz your a really big boy'' hes happy with that. My second child never got a dummy at all :|) Also, i struggles to potty train him, it finally worked 3 days after his 3rd birthday. x :|)

Answer 10

I don't understand why people let their child become dependent on a pacifier and then take it away. The word pacifier means something to keep them calm, so why take away what you have given to keep them calm? Its like thumb sucking, some kids need it for longer than others because they have insecurities, so let them have it. My son-in-law wants to take away my grandson's blankey, why? He only uses it at home to go to sleep, who is it hurting? Children need to feel secure, give them what they need.