My husband and i got married when i was 21 and he was 23.He was an Australian here in the U.S.A as a pro-surfer i think he may have some sort of duel citzenship.Anyway i had just graduated from college and fell head over feet for but we seperated after a year.I shortly after found out i was pregnant with his son so i went and contacted him to inform him.He attended his sons birth and stuck around after for a little bit but we could not agree on anything so we split up.He moved back to Australia and i traveled to England for work and lived there for 6 months.I have traveled all over Europe for work with my son who is almost 7 now.His dad all of a sudden wrote to me stating that he wants visitation rights or co-custody of our son?He even claim he could have me arrested when i come back to the U.S for kidnapping?
2007-01-08 05:38:43 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Immigration
Even worse we never filed for divorce?
2007-01-08 05:39:40 · update #1
You fell in love with a total loser. Ignore everything he says. It sounds like you have all the rights, it is his responsibility to get them back in the courts, and I doubt he has the brains for that.
2007-01-08 05:41:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Eeek. Sounds like you've got yourself in a pickle! Why on earth would you have never filed for divorce? Do you not expect to ever remarry? By not filing for divorce, you remain legally married, which means he probably won't have to pay any back child support and any debt he's incurred could be partly your responsibility.
BUT... can't do anything about that now. If he's started any type of court proceeding, you'll NEED to attend or have an attorney attend for you. At the very least, you'll have to submit a notarized declaration explaining why you left with the child (like that you hadn't seen or heard from dad in however many years) and how the father had VOLUNTARILY abandoned his child prior to you moving.
In any case, barring some sort of limiting factor on his part (mental illness, documented unreliability, documented inability to parent, etc.) he may have a very real chance of winning partial custody. He can't force you to move (after all, he moved first!) but you would likely have to share transportation expenses if he does win visitation or partial custody (I think visitation would be more likely).
From the get-go, I'd say that you need to be adamant that the father voluntarily abandoned the child and lean heavily on the fact that the child doesn't KNOW the father. This should prevent any partial custody and should force dad to have to come visit in YOUR area in order to see the child. I think any court would agree it would be inadvisable to send a child out of the country to reside temporarily with a parent they don't even remember.
Good luck with this! I had some ugly custody issues when I left my ex... but thankfully international borders were not involved. Feel free to message me if you'd like to talk more. I'm no pro... but I did successfully manage to retain full custody of my daughter and did so without an attorney. Good luck!
2007-01-08 13:50:01 · answer #2 · answered by kittikatti69 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can come back to the US. Don't let this guy threaten you. He's obviously turned out to be a as*hole. Although you may be required to allow him to see his son, if you get an attorney and explain to the court the entire situation they might let you keep full custody. I would not seriously entertain his threat of having you arrested for kidnapping. Keep any letters he sends you as evidence against him and if you cant record phone calls then make a detailed description of what was said. When you come back to the states and the court hearings begin make sure that you are as calm and rational as possible. All too often men get their wives really upset and then the wives look like the trouble makers in court. In addition to being calm the court will also give custody to you if they believe that you are willing to allow your son to see his father. If he tells the judge you wont let him see his son but he would always let the child see you, guess who will get custody? I really hope this works out for you.
2007-01-08 13:45:28 · answer #3 · answered by helplessromatic2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't have a case. It was his choice to neglect the child.
That is your biggest argument, NEGLECT.
And the whole divorce, there is no custody battle if your still LEGALLY married, so he'll lose.
Plus I'm sure, you got it cleared with customs before you went to europe. He made NO effort to contact you for custody, so in that he waved his parental rights, There might be some court struggle, But you will most likely win, He can have custody, that is his right as the baby's father, but he can not get you arrested for taking YOUR own child to europe.
God I wish my parents took me to europe, tell your son he is lucky.
2007-01-08 13:48:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get a UK family service lawyer right away. He is probably bluffing, but he could get his own lawyer and make things a mess for you in any Commonwealth country, as well as the US.
It is better to face and resolve those kinds of issues at the earliest time rather than let them fester into real nightmares.
2007-01-08 13:51:12 · answer #5 · answered by No Bushrons 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are very specific criteria regarding kidnapping, and your situation doesn't fit any of them...
However, since you are still married, and if you do decide to come to America, once here he can start court proceedings for visitation, or co-custody.
But not kidnapping...
2007-01-08 13:53:09 · answer #6 · answered by LongSnapper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is bluffing if you haven't filed for a divorce then a custody order was never issued and you can go and live where ever you want.
2007-01-08 13:44:17 · answer #7 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need to contact an immigration lawyer and a child custody specialist. you do not want anyone on this site giving you advice on something that important
2007-01-08 13:40:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋