when he asked me I lied because it happned 4 years before I met him what do I do because I dont want to lose him? PLEASE HELP ASAP!!!!!"
2007-01-08 05:28:28 · 13 answers · asked by ♥♥♥ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is not a bad idea to investigate someone you intend on having
a relationship with...
Just explain it to him and that it was in the past and you did
not want it to keep him from getting to know you in the present..
You would have told him about it once he got to know the real you.
2007-01-08 05:32:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, that really depends on what you did 4 years ago. If you murdered a family of 4, good luck on surviving that being found out. But if it's not anything that affected anyone else negatively, then really it's none of his business until you decide it is. And I'd approach it from that angle. Don't make a big deal of it or he'll just assume it's a deal breaker.
However, I will point out that your mistake was lying instead of saying, "I'm not really comfortable talking about this. Perhaps when we know each other better, I'll be able to share this with you." In the future, you might want to use that tactic as that will never come to bite you in the butt like lying will.
2007-01-08 05:36:46 · answer #2 · answered by lilrubberducky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the best policy.
If you would rather not tell something, just be like, "Uh, well that is personal information from a looooonnnnggg time ago, and I would rather not BRING THAT STUFF UP Anymore."
For now all you can do is give it a little time, and then try explaining yourself.
Explain, it is something VERY PERSONAL, and NUMBER TWO, you really do not appreciate him snooping in your life...
But see if maybe there is something you can agree on, as far as this SUBJECT of WHATEVER came up, goes.
And go from there.
Or just MOVE ON, and do not waste your time with a CONTROL FREAK ...If He is GONNA get into your BUSINESS this early on, you probably DO NOT NEED HIM.
Things do not change, or People do not change in relationships...For the most part.
If he is allready CHECKING UP ON YOU now...It will never end.
Find a new MAN.
DJ
2007-01-08 05:42:39 · answer #3 · answered by gemseeker 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lose him. He was wrong for digging into your past and asking you about things that happened before you even knew him. He could be dangerous. If you just met him and learned all this, I would get the hell away from him fast. I mean literally run. Whatever has happened in your past is none of his business if he was not involved with you at the time.
2007-01-08 05:32:55 · answer #4 · answered by blue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't mind this information being out in the open, then you shouldn't feel forced to tell him. If it's really bugging you, tell him that there's something about your past that he doesn't know you yet and tell him that you're only willing to tell him about it when you feel more comfortable...that way, you're not hiding the fact that you've got a secret, but you're asking him to be patient until you're ready to share it with him. If he genuinely cares about you, he will understand. Hope It Works Out For You!! :-)
2007-01-08 05:34:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to say it - but you DO want to lose him. I am a man and I can say with absolute certainty that the kind of person that would INVESTIGATE THEIR GIRLFRIEND is a slimy, sleazy pile of dirt and should be dumped as soon as humanly possible. He will make you feel bad about yourself and will hold this against you for the rest of your relationship. Do you really want that?
PEOPLE - STOP INVESTIGATING YOUR FREAKING RELATIONSHIP PARTNERS - IF YOU DON'T TRUST THEM THEN GET OUT OF THE DAMNED RELATIONSHIP! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU LOOK FOR SOMETHING YOU WILL FIND IT? EVERY TIME?
Sorry - but these questions about hiring PIs to investigate spouses really bothers me on a fundamental level and seems to point to a deterioration in not only trust but the quality of romantic relationships in our societies, communities and families.
FP
2007-01-08 05:33:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to come clean...honesty is key, If there is no trust than you have nothing with him. Come clean. If you really don't want to lose him, than you clear the truth up before he ends up being another thing that happened in your past as well. Good luck
2007-01-08 05:33:39 · answer #7 · answered by cib0385 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him, then you got to tell him the truth about your past. Because love is confess, and is not secret. If you do not tell him soon; when he finds out then you're in much trouble, in that time you will be too late to regard. If he also love you, then he should accept your past.
2007-01-08 05:33:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the best policy. Most guys appreciate a female who will tell them the truth no matter what. You may have blown it with him because of the lie.
2007-01-08 05:46:19 · answer #9 · answered by fairiemage99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he just wanted to check you out before he dated you!!! but that's kinda weired and i don't know if you should continue seeing him he sounds strange!!! he dose not have a right to go through your personal info!!! just be honset with him that the key ingredient in a relationship!
2007-01-08 05:34:28 · answer #10 · answered by alex t 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋