my boyfriend tells one of his female friends that he loves her. how can i tell him how much this bothers me?

Question

i received an email... accidently... from him with a conversation between him and one of his female friends. they're talking about their new years plans. he says he'll call her at midnight. then he says 'i love you' and signs his name. maybe it's just me, but saying i love you in a casual conversation like that it's normal... or right. i've talked to him about it. he now thinks that i'm accusing him of cheating. i'm not. i just don't think he understands that i really don't like him saying that. i've never met the girl and we've been together for over a year. she lives in town, not too far away, so i don't understand why i haven't. if she's one of his really good friends like that, i should have met her by now, right? how do i push the fact that i don't want him saying that to her?

Answer 1

tell him how you feel. how much it bothers you to hear him saying he loves some girl. if he thinks it's no big deal, then you should get over it. but if he really cares about how you feel, he will do something about it. it sounds like your bf and his female friend is really close, tell him that you want to meet her since they have such a close relationship... he is YOUR boyfriend, he should care about how you feel. you are acting his way because you care for him, and it is wrong for him to just think that you are accusing him of cheating. he should put himself in your shoes... if i were you, i would bring up his relationship with his friends in one of the conversations (during a time when you both feel the most intimate and open), and talk about them in general. then talk about this particular female friend of him and tell him how uncomfortable it makes you to hear him saying he loves her. and see it how it goes... if he really cares, he will tell you what he thinks...
good luck!
i hope this helps...

Answer 2

Maybe for him, telling his friends that he loves them is normal. And it's easier for a guy to tell a girl friend that he loves them. But then again, you have a point - you've never met her and she's the kind of friend that he should've introduced you to already. Maybe you should basically demand that he introduce you two. And then make a judgement from there.

Answer 3

HONESTLY I DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH HIM TELLING HIS FRIEND THAT HE LOVES HER.I'VE BEEN IN A 4YR RELATIONSHIP AND I TELL ALL MY FRIENDS FEMALE AND MALE THAT I LOVE THEM. THE PROBLEM HERE IS NOT THAT HE IS TELLING HER HE LOVES HER IS THAT U DON'T KNOW WHO THE GIRL IS. RIGHT? WELL YOU HAVE A POINT THERE.JUST TELL HIM OR JUST E-MAL THE GIRL AND HAVE A METTING. I WOULD. TELL HER U WOULD LIKE TO MEET HER SINCE SHE IS A SPECIAL FRIEND OF UR MAN. IF SHE SAYS NO THEN U KNOW THEIR IS SOMETHING WRONG THERE OR DOES SHE KNOW THAT HE IS WITH U? UR MAN IS WRONG FOR NOT INTRODUCINIG U TO HER IF HE CLAIMS THAT THEY ARE JUST FRIENDS.. CHECK IT OUT. HOPE EVRYTHING WORK OUT..

Answer 4

I don't think it's appropriate for a man with a girlfriend to be telling his "other girlfriend" he loves her. You've already talked to him about it. What more do you think you can push? You said you've talked to him about it and yet you claim he doesn't understand- he DOES understand-- he doesn't care. He ignores your feelings.
Why don't you find a guy who is into you and only you, rather than one who sends love letters to his other "girl friends"?

Answer 5

If he's not being open and honest with you, this is wrong.

If he's open with his feelings for her, and still has feelings for you, this is both possible and happens to many people.

Society wants you to believe it's not possible to be in love with more than one person at a time, no matter how much this violates common sense.

I have been in love with more than one person at a time. Still am. To be quite honest, I've never fallen out of love with anyone I've fallen in love with.

I am open and honest with my lovers. It's required to call myself polyamorous.

Answer 6

Stop yourself. I love all my friends, don't you?