my x has moved two states away, we were together fo 5 yrs, its been over for 2yrs. every three months she calls and says she wants me back, but when i start to take the steps to move up there or get closer she backs away and stops callling. now here we are again shes calling my phone and i dont answer so she calls all my friends to find me. i know what she wants, she says i still love you but im not in love with you. what the hell does that mean and why is she still calling if she doesnt want me back. what should i do? we have a kid together.
2007-01-08 05:08:19 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no
2007-01-09 06:49:06 · answer #1 · answered by james h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like she does still love you and is having a very hard time coming to terms with not being together anymore. She is probably remembering all the good things when she calls you but by the time you come around to getting back together again, she has started remembering why you split again. I don't think she is intentionally messing with your head, but that is in essance what is happening. You need to make a stand here. You need to decide what it is that you want. Do you want to be with her? If you do, than talk to her about it, let her know what you are feeling and why- what's making you feel that way. If you don't think that you can get past the reasons you split, then tell her that you just can't do this anymore. Tell her that by her calling you and telling you that she loves you isn't helping you at all, it's making you miserable. Tell her that you just aren't at a point in your life where you can be friends with her. That doesn't mean that you want to have a bad realtionship either. You just can't continue what's going on now. Tell her to only call you with things that relate to your child, or just have your kid call you instead. When setting up visits with your child, have her drop your kid off at your house and then leave. When you return your kid, you do the same. Maybe after enough time has passed, you both will be able to handle more contact than that. But for now, this just isn't working for you. Good Luck!!
2007-01-08 13:17:35 · answer #2 · answered by Goddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, man it up and tell her to get the h e l l out of your life. She's playing you like a cheap fiddle. Every time she's dumped by someone else, she calls you up just to keep you close by. She'll do this as long as you let her too. Move on and try to forget about her. If she is serious about getting back to you, let her take the first steps and prove that she is sincere. Good luck to you.
2007-01-08 13:16:21 · answer #3 · answered by [><] Rebel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a kid together you have to keep communicating and try to keep it peaceful. She will always be in your life because you have a child together. But.... the relationship between you two sounds like crap. Sounds like you need to find someone that appreciates you ALL the time, someone thats IN love with you. I dont know why shes doing that... maybe she doesnt have anyone else in her life at the moment. Bottom line... make sure you are there for your child... ALWAYS- but it doesnt sound like you and your ex belong together. Doesnt seem like she will be there for you and make you happy. Good luck with everything! :)
2007-01-08 13:16:10 · answer #4 · answered by skygirlchristine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being in love with you but not IN love with you means, she has sincere feelings for you in a loving way. But not in an intimate way. Its like when you really love somebody even after things fall apart you never stop loving them, but doesnt mean you have to be with them. Seems like she gets in moods where she wants to make a commitment to be closer to you, but then it kicks in that it will only hold both of you back from moving on. Esp when you were so close for so long its hard to let go. But shes keeping you at a distance thats comfortable for her but inconvinient and frustrating for you. Talk it out, see where your going and what is best for BOTH of you. And go from there. GOOD LUCK =)
2007-01-08 13:15:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's probably not having anyone paying attention to her during the times she calls you. She's bored, and starts thinking about what you did have, and begins to miss it. Then, my guess is, someone starts paying attention to her again, and she backs off of you. As far as what you should do? Move on with your own life, and let her know gently that you two aren't going to work, but would like to be in your kids' life.
2007-01-08 13:13:17 · answer #6 · answered by southern belle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the childs sake, you need to answer the phone so she can talk to the child.
But for your sake, I suggest keeping the conversations limited and short. She's rebounding on you. I bet you whenever she starts calling you again, its when she'd been dumped by some other guy or shes feeling down and needs someone to make her feel better.
Stop playing in her games, but dont come off as rude.
2007-01-08 13:11:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems there are unsresolved feelings and neither of you has moved on. You will need to be in contact because of your child but it seems she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. Actions speak louder than words. Stop allowing her to do this to you. You need to move on to someone who doesn't play games.
2007-01-08 13:12:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is lonely and want something familiar just say you want to keep in contact and see what happens form there if you stay up on Csupport then your all good
2007-01-08 13:12:36 · answer #9 · answered by Umphery's Mc Joe'S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her and find out what the deal is and tell her to give it to you straight up no games. but just talk to her and tell her how you feel about her!!
Good luck
2007-01-08 13:14:50 · answer #10 · answered by ~It's Me~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SHE JUST CALL YOU FOR THE KID YOU HAVE WITH HER SO DON´T BE A FOOL THAT KID NEEDS A FATHER AND YOU ARE THAT MAN.
2007-01-08 13:31:44 · answer #11 · answered by oso 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋