We are paying for our wedding ouselves and live in S.F CA so it is very pricey. His whole family expects to come which will push our guest list to aprox. 150 + people. They expect a nice reception with alcohol etc but we can't afford this. They all are expecting to be invited and will be very disappointed if we elope. He is Irish Catholic so the traditional wedding thing is very important.All his friends brothers abd sisters have had very large affairs. What should we do ? I want to elope but I don't want to hurt my family especially my mom since I am her only daughter.
2007-01-08 04:38:34 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
We ran into a similar situation, except it's my side of the family that is large. You and your fiancee need to sit down, and honestly talk about what's important to the two of you, since that's what's most important. If you end up eloping, but still want something for the whole family to participate in, you could have a nice reception later on. You may also want to just have a civil ceremony now, and save up for the big church wedding and large reception later on. Or you can have the ceremony and reception now, but you may have to cut out a few of the larger expenses to stay within your budget, like less flowers, cash bar, etc. Just make sure that it's a day that you two can look back on and have little to no regrets about! Good Luck!
2007-01-08 04:56:02 · answer #1 · answered by prplluva 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could elope with just a few close friends and family, save the money you would have used for the huge ceremony, then throw a nice reception when you get back. It sounds like these guys really just want the party after the wedding, and they'd probably spend the whole ceremony counting down the seconds until cake time (or alcohol time, lol)
By the way, if you're worried about the price of alcohol for that large of a crowd, you could add BYOA to the invitations.
2007-01-08 12:53:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can have an inexpensive wedding (or just a reception after you elope) at someone's home. Do you know anyone who would be willing to host it for you (even if it's asking someone on his side of the family to do so)?
And on second thought... if his family expects him to go through a church wedding followed by a traditional reception and you can't afford it but still want to get married then HE is the one to tell HIS family that you both decided to elope because you love each other and because you can't afford a big wedding. He could tell them that you hope to have something down the road say in ten years (that should make them happy).
Oh... and you can't have your mother and sister and no-one from his family. Be equal about everything! Good luck!
2007-01-08 12:47:07 · answer #3 · answered by mJc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you say that the traditional wedding thing is very important, but not starting your marriage in a ton of debt has to be even more important. What about something less formal like a big picnic-type thing with a big pavilion(s)...and maybe do it somewhere like a state park where you're not allowed to have alcohol, which gets you out of that expense. I know my wife would have never gone for this, and some of her family probably would have been offended, but others, including all my family and friends, would have loved it.
2007-01-08 12:48:40 · answer #4 · answered by DGS 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, it is your wedding that you are paying for yourselves. Why not elope and have a reception party when you get back? Whatever you decide to do, the families should respect and understand why your wedding was the way you want it.
2007-01-08 12:49:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not there are a lot of ways you can cut your budget. Limiting drinks to one or two tickets. You don't have to do a traditional banquet hall set up. Most of the larger cities have pretty big park districts, which have indoor or outdoor facilities that can be rented out. Another alternative is a lot of restuarnts have private rooms that they rent out. This can also come out cheaper. If your creative you can pull it off. Even if a family member has a big yard, then you can rent some cocktail tables and serve horu dourves along with drinks.
2007-01-08 12:48:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not sit down with both sets of parents and tell them your dilemma. They may be willing to help. Do most people give cash gifts in your area.? If so, can you borrow or charge the reception and pay it off with the gifts so you can invite everyone. Its such a special day. Don't let it be ruined if you can solve the money issue. Hope it works out!
2007-01-08 12:49:32 · answer #7 · answered by Janne -Sue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your parents about how your feeling, we paid for most of our wedding as well...we were in the same situation...we cut cost where we could...we decided to have the ceremony and reception in one place...we didn't rent any limos...research all your options...good luck...I know how stressful this is but in the end you'll have a beautiful day!
2007-01-08 12:47:11 · answer #8 · answered by Ŗεŋεε 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say that since you are paying for the wedding yourselves....they need to understand that you have a budget.
You cant invite everyone you know, invite those that are important to both of you and leave it at that. as for the alcohol, maybe do a cash bar that way you just have to pay for the labor..i think that's how it works..lol
2007-01-08 12:48:42 · answer #9 · answered by Get_R_Done_n_Dallas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all Congratulations on your engagement! I come from a large family myself and one side is about 80 as well. We had an hors d'ouevre wedding. It was at someones house and we passed out wine, beer and margaritas. It was respectable, cheap and everyone had a fabulous time. We also didnt rent any limos we just drove ourselves. Good Luck. Please dont let his family pressure you into doing something you dont want to do. Its your day. Celebrate it how you want to.
2007-01-08 13:50:52 · answer #10 · answered by Brown Eyed Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋