my boyfriend was severly abused physically and metally and he was adopted by his satist granndparents and gave back to the state. his real mom was a crack head and took him on tricks, shot up with him there ect. and she dropped him at his grandparents front steps at the age of 5 five. his grandparents stabbed him in the neck/shoulder pour scalding water on him... etc. he was adopted by the best parents ever but he doesn't love them and he has no preception of what a family is. hes been in and out of phyco-therapy anger management therapists and ect. im the only one hell talk to...heres the biggest problem... im pregant with his daughter... im aslo the only one he loves!! what do i do??????????????????? i wont leave him. i promise this is the truth!!!! oh i started learning all of this stuff after i got pregnant. i never ANY of this
2007-01-08 04:27:46 · 29 answers · asked by Natasha C 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
*never knew
2007-01-08 04:28:24 · update #1
he never put a paw on me
2007-01-08 04:41:51 · update #2
Does he treat you good?Does he always support you?Is he always there for you?If you answered yes to the questions then do not worry.You shouldn't be on here airing out how his childhood was and letting other people see this stuff.It isn't our business how bad he got beat and so forth as long as he is a good guy and treats you good and all that.And I have a feeling he made some of that stuff up about his childhood it sounds a little too embellished.
2007-01-08 04:33:42 · answer #1 · answered by Førsâkëñ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, If you won't leave him, then I suggest you maybe go to counseling together.
Have you told him your pregnant? His reaction could be a very important indicator of his emotional state.
If he's thrilled that's a good sign that you can work through whatever past he has and build a bright future.
If he's not happy or even upset than you have to start looking how his negative feelings will impact you and the baby you'll be having.
It's a tough situation cause in MOST cases abuse is carried on from parent to child, and any loving parent would not want that kind of hell for their child. So think carefully. You may hurt him by ending things, but you also have a young and innocent life you might be ruining. So just think about all your options, even the unpleasant ones.
Good Luck!
2007-01-08 04:36:07 · answer #2 · answered by Kurius_Kitten 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG your poor man! I know what it is like to have a man from a broken home. Leaving him is the last thing you should do. He is going to love his daughter don't worry about that. You just need to make sure that he is being a good dad because he doesn't know what a good dad is. Lets hope that he becomes one but please watch him and make sure that he is doing alright. He may have built up anger and you dont want him taking it out on the baby. If he is ever going to learn a happy life, create one for him. Try to keep fighting to a minimum and take care of him and the baby the best you can, mentally and physically. Once he sees how good a mother you are, he will know what a good parent is.
2007-01-08 04:34:52 · answer #3 · answered by L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he abusive to you? If he is... then you have to get out for the safety of your unborn child. If he isnt, and is otherwise a great guy- then consider yourself lucky. Most people after going through such a tramatic experience can never be a WHOLE person. They kind of lumber through life with no real goals or ambitions. But you have to remember that even tho this stuff happened to him.... He was a child, and children are resilliant. Children are by far the strongest people I've ever met. Their emotions are so simple and at the same time, so deep. Good luck
2007-01-08 04:31:17 · answer #4 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You guys need to get him into therapy to deal with his anger. It's natural that he doesn't know what a family is but he might have an idea of what he'd want his family to be like. Talk about what kind of father he sees himself as and what he wants to have for his future. Find out if it includes you and his future daughter. Either way he is going to need deprogrammed from all the pain he's suffered. That has taught him to behave a certain way and if he's going to have a family of his own he needs to relearn how to treat family.
2007-01-08 04:34:15 · answer #5 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your in a tough situation. If your dead set on making it work. You may have to do some couples counseling. He may need to take parenting courses at the hospital. He has to understand that he must break the cycle of abuse and be the kind of father that he always wanted to have in his life. Just understand that even though you love him, if, once the baby gets here, he just cant overcome his demons, your gonna have to do the right thing and get the negative influences out of your daughters life. Once she gets here its not about him anymore. Its about her. I truly hope that y'all can get through this and your daughter can have a happy normal childhood. Ill keep you in my prayers.
2007-01-08 04:34:57 · answer #6 · answered by Let ME be President! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he stays "the same guy", then it would be a mistake for you to stay with him, and to raise that child around him. If he experienced all of that, it is said it will most likely happen again. Meaning he may hurt you or your child.
This situation you're in seems really scary. Like if you leave him, he may want to hurt you or something. Maybe you do need to leave this relationship. It won't be like you're leaving him, just giving him time to get well. Also, you really have to decide if a child is the best thing for you right now. Good luck and be safe!
2007-01-08 04:35:42 · answer #7 · answered by akerockstar 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say it is up to you to be the beacon of love he has been looking for his whole life. Live a life of love, and by your example he will find out what love truly is. Do your best to keep your family together, you, him, and your daughter. Keep him in counseling so that he can continue to receive professional help, but be extremely supportive, patient, and understanding. Ultimately be the giver in your relationship until he will one day have the understand of what unconditional love is and will have the capacity to give back unto you and your family.
2007-01-08 04:35:34 · answer #8 · answered by CPDawg 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow...that's quite a story. This is a hard one because I'm sure you want to be there to support and love him, but at the same time it's your life and you deserve to be with a sane person. If his past is going to create problems in your future then I would get out of the relationship. You've got to look out for you and your daughter. Who knows though....maybe being with you is what he needs. Good luck!
2007-01-08 04:32:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just going to have to support him no matter what. Thats all you can do. You cant change his past, but you can help make his future better. Maybe sign him up for some counseling and you should go with him to better understand what he is going through and to learn how to deal with it. He isn't a lost cause....with the right help, he can lead a great life and be a great boyfriend and father.
2007-01-08 04:32:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋