15 and 18. too much of an age differnce for dating? the girls the younger one. ??

Question

Im the girl!! lol

also im very mature for my age and hes the one comming on to me so im really the one whos gonna make the decision. i dont even know where hes going to college next year!

nahum. hahahahahahah THATS SO TRUE. mothers...

Answer 1

It depends on (a) their moral standards, and (b) the laws of the State in which they live.

If either of them is just in it for the sex, or especially if the guy is exercising improper influence over the girl, then definitely yes.

When I got married, I was a virgin; my wife was just over 6 years younger than I.

However, I was engaged to a different young woman when I turned 20; shortly thereafter, she had a birthday party and I was (naturally) invited. I knew she was "in high school," but everything about her told me she was in her senior year.

So convinced was I that she was "about my age" (meaning when I was 19, I figured she was 17 or 18) that I never bothered asking. And she had a younger half-brother that I figured was about 12.

I arrived early and helped prepare for the festivities -- and, much to my delight, enjoyed what was one of the most erotic experiences of my life (sucking the cake batter from my fiancee's finger).

At some point, the women sent the men outside to wait while the table was set. When we were invited back in, we enjoyed a sumptuous feast before the birthday cake was brought out.

I'd been dating the young woman 4-6 months (it was a loooong time ago; some of the details aren't clear, anymore), so I knew her brother's birthday was very close at hand -- and I've been to lots of "combined birthday parties" -- so I didn't immediately balk at the cake having only 14 candles:

I just figured there was another one for my fiancee or maybe she had decided to not have a cake. When it became apparent the cake was for her, I was so stunned I offered to go get the necessary additional candles to "make it right."

Her parents looked at me with bewilderment: they couldn't imagine that I didn't know her actual age -- but she was so mature that asking her age never even crossed my mind: I "knew" she was a very mature 17 or 18 -- but what I "knew" was not at all accurate.

I should have learned from that experience that religiosity would be my undoing, but I didn't. She wanted to "play house" but I wanted to wait 'til after we were married -- and I was willing to wait (with the help of many cold showers) until AT LEAST after she finished high school for that to happen.

I didn't then understand that modern engagement is akin to OT betrothal, which (at least as far as bedding was concerned) carried with it all the privileges of marriage -- and the age of consent for women in my State was 14 back then (18 now).

Regardless, I'm happy with the way things turned out for me. She was too young to marry, and so was I -- although she moved in with a 34-yo divorced guy 3 months later, and 6 months after that got married to him, and roughly 3 months after that gave birth to their (full-term) child.

Don't screw-up someone else's life. On the other hand, don't shun someone for whom you believe your affection is genuine and benevolent.

If you honestly believe you enhance each other's lives, dating is fine: it gives you each the opportunity to explore the other's beliefs and opinions, to get to know each other as multi-dimensional human beings. Just don't conflate a license to date with a license to doink: they're NOT the same.

Oh, and I agree with what I read from "Jay."

Answer 2

My opinion is it depends on the people. Every situation is different. People mature at faster rates then others and are ready to handle a more serious relationship quicker. It is illegal, but I'm not a big fan of statutory rape laws because there really are people 15 and 16 who do have a good enough head on their shoulder to make the right decisions and not be swayed by someone just cause they are older.

For example, my cousin is 16 and dating a 25 year old. They are completely and hopelessly in love. My aunt had a big problem with this for a long time (doesn't anymore) because everyone has a bad image of older guys. They think we're all out for sex and that's all we want. That's not true, that's what ALL guys are after! (Hah!) My cousin told her boyfriend when they got together that she's not ready to have sex because she doesn't want to risk getting pregnant and ruining her life and if he can't accept that then they can't be together. He does accept that and is willing to wait as long as possible for her.

She is REALLY mature for her age, so they really do have a lot in common. She's moved around from country to country from the time she was born and has had to learn how to deal with different types of people and different situations. She knows what she wants out of life. She's able to think about situations and realize the consequences and take responsibility for what she does. She acts more mature then people my age (I'm 24) because of everything she's had to go through. She was forced to grow up quicker then most people.

In her situation, I think it's perfectly fine and that age is just a number there. As I said before, it's based on the situation and the people. If they are truly in love, then age should not matter as love doesn't read numbers. Another thing to remember is that women mature at a much faster rate then men. They reach that mentally maturity much much quicker. There was a time, in America, when women her were 14 and 15 were able to get married, bear children, AND take care of them properly and in a really good way. My ex had a kid when she was 14 and she was a better mother then most other people I know. It's all situational.

Answer 3

Because most girls between the ages of 15-18 are more mature than the boys in that age group. Men over 18 are more attractive because they usually have a ride and some $. They hide it because no decent parent wants to see their school aged daughter dating a man out of school! When she gets 21 and he's 25 it won't matter.

Answer 4

Yeah, actually. And if a 15 year old girl has sex with an 18 year old man, it would be considered statutory rape.

Aside from the legal issues, there's a big psychological difference between a 15 year old and an 18 year old, so it's probably best to avoid this type of relationship, even if it doesn't get physical.

from Wikipedia:
Statutory rape is the crime of sex with a minor under the age of consent (AOC). Statutory rape differs from other types of rape in that overt force or threat need not be present. By law (statute), any such sexual activity is assumed to be coercive since the minor is considered in law as unable to give consent to the acts.

The age at which individuals are considered competent to give consent is the age of consent (AOC). Age of consent is usually the age at which an individual can legally have intercourse with an adult, but in some jurisdictions the AOC establishes the minimum age of sexual conduct with anyone, regardless of age. In jurisdictions with the latter, it would be possible to charge two minors with a violation of the state's AOC.

Many jurisdictions have multiple age determiners for AOC, as well as a second "statutory rape age boundary". For instance, an adult engaging in sexual intercourse in a particular jurisdiction with an individual under the age of 12 may be charged with a full statutory rape charge (a charge fully equivalent in punishment and severity to rape) whereas intercourse with an individual between the ages of 13–16 may be a significantly lesser charge (such as, "unlawful sexual conduct with a minor," or, "criminal sexual conduct with a minor,") depending on the jurisdiction, the age difference between the participants, and other factors.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statutory_rape

Answer 5

As the mother of a 15 year old, I say Yes, that's too much age difference. There are plenty of 18 year old girls out there, leave the young and innocent ones alone and let them grow up in their own time, not yours!
What does a 15 year old girl have in common with a 18 year old boy?

Answer 6

Age doesn't mean anything.

Has everybody got that? Age means nothing.

What does matter? Maturity matters. I've met some 15-year-olds who were more mature than some 35-year-olds I've known and vice versa.

Does this girl know how to take care of herself? Is she independent? Does she have a desire to improve herself? Does she take on responsibility or does she avoid it?

These are questions that are much more important than age.

Answer 7

Its not a big gap but it doesnt really seem right. The girl isnt legal and the boy is 18 so the fact that he can get in trouble over her right now is the thing that plays a big factor. That relationship would have to be going very slow if u know what i mean.

Answer 8

im in that exact problem. It all depends if you two are just DATING and its not CONSENTUAL (most likely is) if in that case then it would depend on what state your in. Most states the sexual age of consent is 18 but here in oklahoma its just 16 so you might need to look at that.

Best of luck,
Nahum

Answer 9

Sorry Jessica but I would have to say that yes there is far too big an age difference there. Fact is he would be so much more mature (or should be anyway) and worldly wise also.

Answer 10

Yes, That's Too much of an Age Difference, Get somebody Your own age If you can, What's your problem...Your Robbing the Craddle!