Please I mean no harm in mentioning this but don't reply if your aren't in a relationship or have no experience with this similar problem.I have had a shakey relationship with my boyfriend and when he got back from Iraq I surprised him with a get-a-way trip to Las Vegas for New Years'During the trip, we had some disputes and problems and on the night of New Year Eve we had a fight in and he left me in the parade to go back to the hotel room.Well I eventually went back and was devastated that we missed the fireworks and the bliss of that night.I told him that I wanted to break it up because this relationship has reached its peaked and I don't want to enter New year like this.He begged and then his attitude changed toward me when his baby mama called our room.They were laughing chatting and we were having a relationship crisis. We managed to patch things up after Vegas but my daughter told me last night that while I was sleep he went into the den to talk to her secretly.Should I be aware
2007-01-08 04:25:46 · 6 answers · asked by sunny d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you should be aware, yes. but not dis-trusting or paranoid, yet. i tend to talk to my baby's mama in private also, but i am not being sneaky. its a sticky situation for a guy when he is with a woman yet has to talk to his ex out of obligation to the child, etc.. it feels wrong, it feels weird, and it feels disrespectful to talk to them in from of you, or to even let you know when we are.we are also afraid of your possible reactions if you hear our conversations with the ex or even know we are talking with them. you ladies can be sooo catty! so, in that regard, i wouldn't worry, if you trust him. give him his space when he talks to her. now, if you have merited trust issues with him that aren't just your paranoia, then be wary. talk to him about it. let him know you are uncomfortable with his talking to her in private, etc.. he may still have feelings for her. ex's will sometimes have sex on occassion even if they are with and love someone else. in this situation you're in, i'd keep you eyes and ears open, even snoop around if you have to, but give him the benefit of the doubt...................for now.
2007-01-08 04:37:38 · answer #1 · answered by beechjb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a relationship expert, but you say your relationship has been shaky even before this latest problem. What he did to you on New Year's Eve shows a deeper problem. I would sit down and have a real serious long talk with him when you aren't fighting. Express your feelings openly and honest and let him know you would appreciate the same. He may be struggling with the break-up from his baby's mother, or with the effects of being in Iraq, or unsure about his relationship with you. In any case, a serious talk wouldn't hurt. I would want to know if he truly loved me or was he having second thoughts. Remember, his actions speak louder than his words.
He may also need to speak to a therapist to get all his feelings out and deal with what he saw in Iraq.
Something else to remember, a father will always have contact with his child's mother, if he is a good father. If it's just that, well then you will have to get used to that if you want to stay in this relationship.
The way he treats you is another story. You have a child of your own involved in this relationship, so be careful with your decisions. Your child's welfare is most important. You are her role model and the man in your life will be the first example of what type of man to look for when she grows up. Be careful!
2007-01-08 04:48:16 · answer #2 · answered by coolkatt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, your situation is hopeless.
There are way to many people involved. You, your daughter, a baby momma, and I am certain a baby if there is a baby momma and then the man.
Get out and try to get the next relationship off to a good start by number one, not jumping into a sexual relationship. It complicates things beyond what you or anyone else can or should have to handle.
If you take your next relationship slowly and without sex, you will find that a multitude of problems simply will not exist.
As far as your daughter and this secret conversation, this is not enough information at all. Her age and the content of the conversation would have to be known in order to offer advise as to if a red flag is in order. But above all, protect your daughter above your own needs.
2007-01-08 04:34:14 · answer #3 · answered by cindy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your boyfriend and find out if he wants to continue your relationship. His baby mama will need to discuss childcare issues with him, but to call during your Vegas break was intrusive. Why would he give her the number? If your relationship is to continue you need to set boundaries about her contact with him to prevent it intruding on your relationship.
2007-01-08 04:36:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell yeah you should, I was going to say maybe it was just him going to Iraq that had him acting funny, but now with all that I would not trust him. He is going to have to start being serious about your relationship or he would have to go. If he is dissing you and hooping it up with his ex, something is not right.
2007-01-08 04:31:41 · answer #5 · answered by ♦ Phoenix Rising♦ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a real jerk.
Dump him and don't let him near your daughter.
2007-01-08 04:34:55 · answer #6 · answered by ghds 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋