How do I help me daughter lose weight if I can't even help myself. Please no cruel answers.?

Question

I am 35 and I have three children. I have always been a size 9/10. However, after having three children and losing a daughter I have gained weight and now weight 229 lbs. My 15 year old daughter weights 201. She is very depressed and is clinging to the wrong type of friends and I am trying to help her, but I feel like i can't even help myself. I try going shopping and buying healthy foods and only water. Each time we end up going back to our old habits. We tried weight watchers and we tried reading books. Nothing has helped. Please do you have some advice that can change our lives. I am so worried about her health. Thank you and God bless you.

Answer 1

I know most people will tell you to simply eat less, but it's just not that simple. The first thing would be to consult the family doctor. Your daughter is still young and has certain nutritional needs that need to be met.
That said, the MOST important thing is to exercise. 30 minutes a day is plenty to boost the metabolism. Nothing extravagant. A bike ride, or a brisk walk is fine.
Next, don't skip meals! Instead eat more meals throughout the day. 5-6 small meals a day have been proven to be much more effective than 2 or 3 larger meals. Try to stay away from really sugary foods and fatty foods. www.calorie-count.com is really helpful for keeping track of fat and calories. Best of luck!

Answer 2

I am struggling with my own weight issues right now. I will say that I agree with the other response about eatting less. My 15 year old sister-in-law started a diet in July of 06. She's about 5'3" and was 207 at her highest weight. She cut her calories WAY back, started making healthier food choices, drank a LOT of water, and tried to get in at least 30 min a day walking. She is 150 today!!! She runs now on the treadmill about 45 min a day and takes in about 1200 calories a day. I do the same and have shed a decent amount of weight in the past few month, with another 40 lbs to go. She needs to make sure she isn't overeatting, but not UNDER on calories as well. 1200 calories is the LEAST anyone should have in a day. If you or her go under that it puts the body into starvation mode, although you will lose, you will gain it ALL back and maybe plus some. I recommed a 1200-1500 calorie diet a day with at least 30 minutes of some cardio a day. Healthy weightloss should be no more then 2lbs a week. Good luck to you and your daughter!!!

Answer 3

I've had the same problem with trying to stick to the right food choices and only drinking water and then end up back to the old ways. Have you went to the family doctor yet? I was always a size 7/8 in high school and then gained somewhere around 60 pounds after high school (in a matter of 2 years!!) due to depression and of course poor eating habits. The doc gave me some medication and it has helped tremendously. It even helps with weight loss because it encourages activity and such, but some people do gain weight from them but more than often people lose the weight. I would definitely go to the doctor and have him/her check for thyroid problems, diabetes, and of course depression. One thing you two could do is join a gym together. If you got the two of you to go work out together you'll be more motivated. You can even try a ladies only gym if you would feel more comfortable. I did and I love it there!

Answer 4

1. Love yourself --- Find that self love you have for yourself. Don't tell yourself bad stuff. When you practice this, it will be an example to your children. Grief is a hurdle that you can concur. Religion helps, and praying before meals makes you conscious of the foods you eat and who gave them to you.

2. Join something like Weight Watchers/ LA Weight Loss / Jenny Craig. Then when you learn --- teach to kids. Teaching is the best way to learn. Plus, take 'em all shopping. It sounds like you need help leading before you become a leader, so I recommend you get the professional support. This is a 6 month - 1 year commitment --- but it will change your life.

Eating habits - It takes 4 days for your body to adjust to food changes (increases and decreases). Start decreasing calories from what you're used to and then maintain for 4 days --- the hunger will be over, and this is the new normal. So you're ready to decrease more calories (just slightly less). Again, the programs I mentioned should be able to teach and support you.

3. After every meal, take the family for a walk. Start off small, then increase. Families that exercise together & have dinner together decrease weight together.

God bless back to u too.

Answer 5

My cousin was morbidly obese and joined Weight Watchers, she is dopping the weight like crazy. Join together. Take multivitamins like One a Day Weight Control with EGCG. Only keep healthy foods in the house. The best way to beat temptation is to completely avoid it. Always cook, never order out while you are dieting. Drink a ton of water, it will help you fill you up and cleanse your system. Try SlimFast shakes. Drink V8. Always keep gum handy, it will help the impulse to chew and have something in your mouth. Fruit flavors would be more helpful. If you don't like exercise make the most of what you do. Walk up and down stairs on the balls of your feet. Skip a stair or two. I lost 20 pounds doing this without a plan.
Always practice self control.
Try buying a pair of jeans that you want to fit into.
Hang it up where you will always see it. This works as a great reminder of your goal.
If you can't resist the impulse to buy junk food, don't go shopping. Write what you want down on a piece of paper and send someone else.
Good luck!

Answer 6

I'm going throw the same thing with me and my 2 kids I'm exceptionally worried about my daughter to she's only 9 but took after me with the weight i have started a month ago on changing our eating habits, and the trick is to do it as a family, no one is excluded not even dad he can stand to eat Healthy too. first no MORE JUNK no pop diet or others (drink water only), no fast food, no chips or cookies in the pantry, no white bread. Look for a sample 1200 cal diet on line and start with that. Buy brown bread and fat free yogurt and plan your meals so you didn't find your self making the wrong choice for dinner. teaching you daughter the write way to eat is the best thing you can do, and get moving walk or get a exercises video for the both of you to do.

Answer 7

I am so sorry you are going through this. You didn't say how long ago you lost your daughter, but it sounds to me like neither one of you is quite ready to jump into a weight loss program until you've started to deal with your depression. Try to get some mental health help for your daughter -- if she won't open up to you, maybe she will talk to a school counselor or clergyman. Best wishes to you!

Answer 8

You need to heal you own life before you can really help your daughter, or perhaps heal together. Read this book - You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise L. Hay. I am reading it right now and I think it is a great place for you to start. It certainly can't hurt. Good luck and I am glad you are a good mom being concerned for your daughter, far too many of us are overweight and it is becoming an epidemic, any other readers - check this book out as well!!

Answer 9

Maybe try improving a bit at a time instead of going all out for it at once.

Say, decide now to cut out all fizzy drinks. Then, once you've got used to to that try eating less at each meal but eating an item of fruit as well instead. And just gradually go on, eating more and more healthily. And do it togehter, so you can encourage each other.

Combine it with an exercise routine, again gradually and doing stuff that you both enjoy.

Good luck

Answer 10

You should visit a nutritionist for the weight problem. First, you have to take your 15 yr old to the doctor so that he or she can help her deal with the depression. Once that's settled visit a nutritionist she will guide you in the right direction. You will be able to learn to cook healthy and eat healthy. You have to do this soon otherwise the weight will just keep creeping up on you guys.