Is it fair to ask my wife to have breast implants? After 3 kids?

Question

I keep myself in good shape for her. I go to the gym 3 times a week and walk every night. The walking is in large part for my own health but the gym is mainly for her. We both agreed that the others physical appearance was very important to us at the beginning of our marriage 11 years ago. Now she has three kids and while I do not expect her body should look like a 21 year olds (she is 32) but I do want her to get her breast fixed. She breast feed our kids and now that all that is over and we are not going to have any more children I want her to have the boob job. She is not so sure she wants to. Before children she was a 36b cup and perfect in my eyes. Now I have no idea what cup size but they do not resemble the pre-kids boobs I loved. Am I asking too much?

Answer 1

Please ignore all of the man hating, "you should be ashamed of yourself", replies you have received so far. Women just dont get it. One response was "if there was a surgery to increase the size of our penises" would we do it? The answer is YES. Whether I need it or not. I wouldn't have to wait for my wife to suggest it.

I am in the same boat as you. I have two beautiful children and a third on the way. I too go to the gym four times per week and though I still can't kick the little beer gut from years past, I am in rather good shape for my age (36). My wife on the other hand, doesnt need to work out. Her genetic make-up allows her to eat what she wants, not exercise and she still has a smoking body. Her girlfriends hate her. She however has also lost the fullness of her breasts after breast feeding two children (I can only imagine what this third kid will do to her).

The only difference is that my wife is the one who has decided to have breast implants after she is done breast feeding. She hates the way her clothes fit her. She hates how her confidence level drops and yes, she realizes that she is "not what she used to be" and that is hard to "give in to" for many women.

Most importantly, she is doing it becasue she knows it will make me happy (as me going to the gym makes her happy). If you come out and suggest it directly, it may cause some issues. You need to be more "subtle" in your approach.

1.) Revisit pictures of how she used to look with bigger breasts (even bikini pictures).

2.) Ask her to wear tops that she used to "love" (and that you loved seeing her in), but no longer fit her because she has lost the fullness in her breasts.

3.) Find a program on TV and "by accident" sit down and watch it with her (Dr. 90210, etc...). She will see how relatively non-invasive the proceedure has become and how thrilled the women are with the results.

4.) Let her know that you love her unconditionally, that this is "her" decision, but if "she" ever wanted to move forward, you would support her 100% financially and emotionally to get the job done.

Bottom line is, you need to drop hints but at the same time make it sound like it was "her decision" in the end.

If more couples took care of eachothers needs, the divorce rate in this country wouldnt be over 50%.

Good Luck brother. I'm pulling for you.

Answer 2

It is completely up to your wife in this decision! If she's comfortable with her body, then why make her change for you? Maybe she's happy with her new look. I don't think women should change her body unless she's completely ok with doing so. I dont think you should pressure her into doing something that she does not want. Maybe you do go to the gym and try to look fit, but that is your decision....she's not making you do that is she? I think you need to keep an open mind about things before you decide what's best for her. Plus, after having 3 kids, it's completely natrual and expected to have change in breast size/looks. You need to realize what she went though (with childbirth and breastfeeding) before you critize how she looks! Dont pressure her into getting this done, just because you arent happy that they are not purky or big! Bothering her about it probably will cause unhappy feelings towards you...

Answer 3

Is asking the mother of your children to undergo major surgery in order to stick globs of plastic under her skin so YOU feel good too much? The next time you went on your little walk, I'd probably lock you out of the house if you decided I needed better boobs after giving birth to and feeding YOUR 3 kids. But it's very cavalier of you not to expect a 32 year old woman to have the body of a 21 year old. Mr. Wonderful!

Answer 4

You can certainly ask, but ultimately it's her body and her decision. Don't pressure her. You should love her for who she is, not what her boobs look like. You should be old enough now to realize that the boobs you see on porn stars and strippers are not those of "real" women. Namely the ones who bear children for their husbands out of love and in the name of a lifetime relationship. I would say don't be too shallow. But leave it up to her. She probably doesn't like them now either.

Answer 5

What on earth do you plan to do when she gets wrinkly?

Re. "physical appearance was very important to us at the beginning of our marriage" -- okay, but what happens to that when you're in your seventies?

What on earth did you expect to happen after the three pregnancies you were partially responsible for?

Really, if "She is not so sure she wants to," you've apparently already brought it up, planted the idea (not the nicest thing to do -- I assure you she knows she doesn't have the same breasts), and she's not for it at this point. Drop it.

Answer 6

Did you fall in love with your wife or with her breasts? Over time the body changes, it happens to everyone. Will you mind if she asks you to get a penile extension when things start going downhill for you? Would you divorce her if she got breast cancer and had to have a mastectomy? With or without perfect breasts she's still the same person that you married.

If she wants to get implants then OK, support her on it. But if it's not something that she wants to do (they can be dangerous; have you thought of that, or do you even care?) then let it go and don't stress her with it. I hope you're in love with the whole person and not just with the bags of fat on her chest.

Answer 7

That is something that she needs to decide that SHE wants to do. That is a lot to ask of her, after she put her body through so much to give you 3 beautiful children. You are asking her to go under the knife to have major surgery for a pretty selfish reason, if you ask me. Again, the decision needs to be hers. If she doesn't want to do it, leave her alone.

Answer 8

You are a shallow, insecure and selfish person. As people age, they change. Breast changes are a result of aging and pregnancy - BUT NOT FROM BREAST FEEDING!!!!!!!What are you going to do as sha gets older and other things change? What about you? As you get older you won't be able to keep your perfect body..are you willing to undergo surgery to "fix" yourself? Someone on here already suggested penis surgery for you - but it sounds like you need a brain transplant.

Answer 9

You should be happy that there's not a surgery to lift sagging testicles in men as they get older.

Why should she have to do something artificial and risk injury when you will have the excuse not to when it comes your time to sag?

No, you are not being fair. You are destroying her self esteem.

I hope she DOES get those implants though...and gets surgery after surgery throughout the rest of her life to keep her young and fit...so while you're sitting there in 10 years with your knick knacks hanging to your knees...she's still getting winked at by young men with taut happies.

Answer 10

Yes, she gave you 3 beautiful children. If she wants to get a boob job then it needs to be her decision not yours... if she told you that your penis didn't look the same as it used to and she wanted you to get that fixed would you?