How should I break up with my girlfriend?

Question

I have been dating her for over a year. I'm 27 and she's 25, but she is incredibly childish and selfish, and I can't deal with it anymore. My main concern is that she has really bad anxiety/depression issues, and I'm concerned that this is going to have a huge impact on her. I do care about her, but I literally have to do everything for her, from picking her up every time we go out, to making her pizza at 3 A. M. when she's drunk, to getting her a glass of water which is ten feet away. She won't do anything herself, she just whines until I do it. She's incredibly needy and selfish, but I don't want to hurt her.

Answer 1

That sucks, why did you date her for this long. I dunno what to tell you coz it would suck for her. Did you tell her that all these things she does bother you. Reason I ask is that, if you suddenly just tell her you are breaking up with her and she is oblivious to the fact that she is annoying and childish she would be in shock!
Then it would seem like you never gave her a chance to correct herself.

Honestly there is no good way to break up with someone and people are going to be upset and depressed but it is something she needs to deal with. You really can't do anything but if you know her friends may be you can keep in touch with her best friend to make sure she is doing ok.

Don't be with the girl coz you feel bad for her. Thats my advice :)
In your scenario, I'd say sucks to be her and sucks to be you but oh well relationships are not forever some are doomed to fail and some are meant to last forever.

Answer 2

Even though she has depression issues, all you can do is break up as gently but as firmly as you could. She holds her future in her own hands and needs to begin to deal with life. You are supposed to be her bf not the literal knight in shining armour.

Do not feel guilty for doing what's best for you. It makes no sense to stay with someone who is only taking from you because one day you will have no more to give someone else or even yourself.

A relationship is supposed to be two ppl who are giving to each other. One being strong in time when the other is weak. I am sure in your 'weak' moments you are alone, then what is her purpose in your life???

I know it is harsh but it is true. Just be gentle, let her know why, so that maybe she can change eventually. But do it, do not be taken in by false promises.

Answer 3

If you love her, maybe you should talk about what bothers you; maybe she doesn't realize what she does.

If you've already done that, or you don't think there is any chance. If you're not in love, and the relationship isn't working; be honest and let her know that. Unfortunately, no matter what you say, its going to hurt her, and probably you a little bit. Just be kind, say everything without malice, and let go. You will find the perfect fishy that won't ***** and complain!

Answer 4

Ask yourself this question: If you really care about this person, what is the best solution to this problem. The answer is this: Tell her that she needs to grow up and be an adult, not a child AND Be truthfully.

As for the relationship, it takes two to make a relationship work and all relationship is build on respect, trust and communication!

Good Luck!

Answer 5

If you guys are not living together, just stop coming by, and let her know. If you are living together, as much as it hurt pack your stuff and have your key to your new place in hand, then tell her that you are leaving have a nice life. You only put up with behavior that you allow into your life. Its too short find someone that is more compatible with you. Regardless of what you do or say she will be hurt, tht is all apart of life hard knocks.

Answer 6

She's controlling you and you're right about wanting to get out of it. If she gets depressed about it then you should tell her parents so that they can help her through it. Break it to her gently, and don't bother to say anything about her being a selfish brat, that will just aggravate the situation. (I would suggest going to her parents first to tell them before she has the chance to bad mouth you) Good luck!

Answer 7

Be honest, but gentle. Tell her you feel she has become unhealthily dependent and you feel she needs to develop some self-reliance and independence. Or, you could say you've grown apart/want different things. A no-blame reason is best, preferably one she can't argue with. Her anxiety/depression is not your responsibility and she needs to get treatment. Maybe you could speak to a close friend of hers so they are ready to offer her support?

Answer 8

Some people confuse panic anxiety disorder with selfishness. It really isn't the same thing. If you cannot deal with the chemical imbalance that she has, I suggest you tell her right away so that she can find someone who will love her unconditionally, with all of her flaws.

Answer 9

wow
sounds like a little kid syndrome
is she the youngest in her family
wow she seems like she needs attention
i dealt with that before
and its hard to break away
but in due time u will realize she s not for u
cuz its not fair for u too pamper and be there for her every needs when she could simply do it herself

i suggest for u to talk about your situation
explain to her how u feel and how da the relationship is

if u she doesnt show progress then its time to leave and for her to watch

Answer 10

If you really want to end things with her you'll have to be firm - if she has problems with anxiety and depression she might use them against you to try and keep you. You have your own life to live and shouldn't have to do everything for her, relationships are about giving as well as taking. I know you don't want to hurt her but if you want to get on with your own life you're gonna have to! Good luck with it all anyway! :-)