I am at university f/t and in my final year. I am skint and in debt as all student nurses are. I moved home to live cheaper. My problem is that my mother has a live in partner who is a bully and control freak. He is the sort that bullies small guys and women. I go to bed and he purposley wakes me by stamping outside my door through the nights and hides my things so on..My mum wont do anything about it as she lives in denial (he is the same with her) I also have a partner who wont move out with me as he wont get a job as he wants to be a succesful artist (no money earning at all) He also wont allow me to live with anybody else(he is jealous) I cant pay my own rent anywhere as i only earn bursary and a small wage when I have time to work. I am being disturbed all the time whilst studying as I use comunal computers (he wont allow a computer at home) I am slowly being driven mad, any advice???
2007-01-08 03:40:01 · 8 answers · asked by Abigail 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
this really is a very unique situation Stephanie. at this stage you cant let Ur studies suffer. so, i think you should have a serious talk with Ur mother and Ur partner. make Ur position clear to both of them. since your mother is not too much of a help in this matter, i think, u should try it with Ur partner. make Ur partner realize that in the name of jealousy, he cant let u suffer like this. make him realize the importance of moving out together. More importantly make him realize that it is for both of ursbright future that u r proposing such a move. As for the bully, he does not expect you to react. i think, retaliation will definitely be a shock to him. try to pay him back in the same coin.who knows, that may make all the difference. Had i been in your position, i would have been insane by now. u seem to be more courageous. Just don't let others spoil Ur dreams. All the best, Stephanie
2007-01-08 04:01:41 · answer #1 · answered by lilac4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you don't have a lot of choice right now. Well, actually I guess you do.....it is your decision to stay with your Mom and her partner instead of finding a roomate to live with (maybe another student nurse). If your boyfriend wants to be a successful artist that is great, but he also has to make a decision to take care of himself at the same time. He should be working to make a paycheck so he can provide for himself while still doing his artwork on the side. Once he becomes successful, he can do the artwork alone. If he wants to be with you, then he will do something about it but shouldn't hold you back from finding a peaceful place to live and study for now. So, the decision is yours. If you stay with your Mom and her partner, then it is their home and you are the guest , so you have to accept it. You don't have to accept him being rude or disrespectful to you though. Your other option is to find a roomate. Tell your boyfriend that you will be much happier in your own place. He should want that for you. If he doesn't, then I'd rethink the relationship.Good luck!
2007-01-08 13:32:20 · answer #2 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly I'd have a talk with my partner and tell him that the live of an artist is not one that you will make a living at so he needs to get a full time job. I am engaged to an artist and she has two jobs. She has been an artist for over 30 years and although she has sold many pieces she does it for the love of art not for a living as it takes many many years to be recognized and respected enough to make a living from this career. Secondly you need to remove yourself from this environment regardless of what it cost you. Nobody should live under these conditions least alone a women who is trying to advance in the world by becoming a nurse. If your school offers low cost housing perhaps you could put your name on this housing registry, even if you need to share accommodations with others in your field. If you have others relatives in the area perhaps you can live with them is another option that may be available to you. Best of luck with this housing issue. There is a need for good nurses universally and I hope that after graduation you become employed immediately and that this helps with your situation and student debts also.
2007-01-08 11:52:11 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have big dilemma that you must deal with whether or not you really want to , First talk to you mom and let her know you care about her and are concerned and that you think the guy she is with is up to no good and that it might be time she did something for herself and instead of letting this guy jump all over her and that it might be time to give him the boot. You could tell her guy friend that you don't appreciate him walking hard at night when you are trying to sleep and study, be firm or you will let him step all over you. Tell your roommate, boyfriend or friend whoever he is to you that he needs to get a job and start doing something for himself even if it is small. Tell him that you would appreciate it if he would allow you to have a computer so you can do you school work and why. Don't go mad because of this you can be the bigger person and let everyone know in a civilized way what you think and be respectful at the sametime. They might be mad at you but they won't be mad because you were honest with them.
2007-01-08 11:59:19 · answer #4 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When trouble comes, when strife and insanity is all around you, there is no other option than to go to God. God is the answer to every question, and the cure for all things. He will help you if you just ask Him. Now, there is more than that in regards of God, but more importantly you need to accept His only Son Jesus who died for your sins, so that if you accept Him, you may go to Heaven and live in Paradise forever. God will watch over you, so seek Him while He may be found, and do not delay.
2007-01-08 11:46:05 · answer #5 · answered by Light Bringer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find another student who wants a roommate and leave them all behind. If your boyfriend was serious about you he would work to help and not be a freeloader. You say he won't allow you......Turn that around and tell him you won't allow him to be lazy and a part of you life. Stop having sex with him and he'll probably go away.
2007-01-08 12:42:07 · answer #6 · answered by D.B. Cooper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aren't there any fellow students you could move in with? You have to think about yourself first right now. Post an ad on Craigslist.
2007-01-08 11:43:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u r overstretched.have patience to get things right
2007-01-08 11:43:57 · answer #8 · answered by anis118030 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋