Well here it goes I have two older sisters. My older sister called me last week to tell me we need to start helpping my mom out. My mom is 52 years old and healthy with no job! She leaves with a roommate in a home. So my sister wants to open a bank account for my mom and she wants each one of us to put $150.00 each month for her. So all together it would be $500.00 a month. It might not be a lot of money to others but to me $150.00 a month is. My older sister works and so does her husband, so between them they make great money. The middle sister is very wealthy since she married someone with lot's of money. Myself well I am very bless because I might not have a lot of money but I get to stay home to raise my child and take care of the home. The thing is I know I can't help them out every month for the rest of my life. So my older sister has been pressurring me and I am getting so frustrated. How can I tell her I just can't help them out? Please give me advice!!
2007-01-08 03:39:53 · 13 answers · asked by hazelshine 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just be honest and tell them you cannot to commit to that amount due to your financial status at this time. They might not be happy about it, but your first responsibility is to your own family and children and your sisters need to respect that. Don't let them pressure you. People with money often don't understand that others can't afford things like they can. To them, $150 isn't a lot and they obviously don't understand how hard it would be for you. And, frankly, if your mother is physically and emotionally well, she should get a job or look into public assistance as opposed to putting undue financial pressure on you and your sisters. If you want to be nice and helpful, call your mom directly from time to time and see if there is anything she needs or anything you can do. That might be good enough.
2007-01-08 04:02:58 · answer #1 · answered by Shelley L 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Easy, tell her that you can NOT afford to make that kind of commitment and that you are willing to do more in the line of helping your mom with other things. Tell them that you are not going to put money into the account but you will do the grocery shopping that your mom needs with your mother or that you will go over and spend time with her at least once a week and take her out to do things like the doctor or help her plant a garden or flower garden in the spring. There is so much more to parents than just giving them the money they need to live plus if you help her like this, you get that bonding time with your mom and your child will get the benefit of knowing a loving granparent. You can do this! Good Luck!!!
2007-01-08 11:45:48 · answer #2 · answered by mouthygirl20012001 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not your responsibility to take care of someone that can take care of themselves. Yes I would say help your mother if she were unable to get a job due to health issues, be it mental or physical, however, if she is healthy and can work, there is no reason she shouldn't. All you have to tell your sisters is simply you cannot afford to do this. You need not give any other reasons as this will only enflame things. I'm unclear as to why your sisters feel the need to do this for your mother. But if they are so wealthy, they can each then put in 250 as it seems as though it would be easier for them to do.
2007-01-08 12:03:35 · answer #3 · answered by Elvira 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is how I would handle it. I would explain to my sister, face to face, not on the phone, that I will not be able to contribute on a monthly basis. I will contribute as I can and as my budget will allow. If she presses the issue, in a no nonsense tone and body language put the issue to rest, tell her firmly but politely that this was her idea and if she wishes to pursue it then it is on her shoulders, you will not talk about it again. And then change the subject. BTW I agree with you, 52 is very young, and healthy too. I could understand if your mom was ill. Now is the time each of YOU should start thinking of YOUR retirement!
L.
2007-01-09 09:37:47 · answer #4 · answered by tink3610 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was your sister's idea not yours, so you can basically tell her to shove it!
Seriously though its not your problem or your fault that your mother needs money. You can help any way you can, but don't think it has to be monetary. They may be able to fork over the money but you can't. Its not your obligation to give up that amount of money just because your sisters say you have to.
The best thing to do is be honest with your sister and tell her that financially you just can't put away that kind of money for her. If your sister gets up set, well too bad for her. She is not the boss of you!
2007-01-08 11:47:37 · answer #5 · answered by Chrystal 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you can not afford to do this. And suggest that your mother get a job. If you can't do it, you can't. You shouldn't let your sister bully you into something you can't afford. If they can do it because they have the money, good for them! It is not your responsibility to support your mother. If she was ill and unable to work, that would be a different story...But that is not the case here. If your sisters can't understand that, well, so sorry for them.
2007-01-08 13:01:50 · answer #6 · answered by onecrazypeach 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girlie just be honest with them and explain to them what's going on. Let them know that there will be times that you cannot contribute to the monthly payments because you don't have that kind of money. They have to understand that. If they don't, well then you do your own thing and buy your mother stuff when she needs them and whenever you really can. I mean it would be nice for you all to get along and for them to understand you, but if they don't.. then you're just going to not include yourself in their whole monthly payment and like I said give your mother money when you can. If you decide to not include yourself in the whole monthly payment, have a serious talk with your sister and explain that although you really want to be in the whole payment thingy, you can't due to the amount of month you get and your bills. Explain to them that you will give her things when you can.
Good Luck Girlie!
2007-01-08 11:57:12 · answer #7 · answered by WiseGirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to very nicely tell her that your family at this point in time cant make a financial commitment like that. And that you will let her know when you are able to do it! Why doesn't your mom work if she is healthy? My grandma is 59 and still works as a flight attendant.
2007-01-08 11:45:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just tell her that you have a child and you cannot afford at this time to help out mom. Tell her that you are not as well off financially as she is and that it isn't fair that she could even consider asking you this.
2007-01-08 11:56:44 · answer #9 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her very sternly that you cannot make that type of long term financial committment. i think it would be different if your mother had an illness, but if your sisters are doing this just so your mother does not have to work, you should remind your sister that that is a luxury. one that you can not afford!!
2007-01-08 12:07:35 · answer #10 · answered by Lin B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋