is my 10 year old son a thief?

Question

my 10 year old son has been caught stealing several times in the last 3 or 4 years. now it is getting worse. at first it was just a handful of change. then it was a $1 here and $2 there. this morning he was caught with $15. my husband have been noticing money coming up missing lately, but have just been shoving it off as nothing. but now we are begining to think it was our son taking it. we have tought him that stealing is wrong no matter what was taken. we have punished him in the past, but it obviously has not done any good. i just don't know what to do. i am afraid that if something is not done soon he will end up in jail. my son also has some anger problems. we have tried to put him in counseling, but his grades in school dropped drasticly. what can i do to help him? i am at a loss as to what to do.

Answer 1

I took everything out of my kids room except his bed and blankets which were on the floor. I did it while he was out and when he got home, I told him that someone must have come in and stole all his things. I mean EVERTHING, Event the posters and pictures on his walls and his lamps. I only left him two pairs of underwear, one pair of shoes, one change of close. I kept it that way for three months untill he was tire and realized what he does to other people. Little by little we put things back with improved behavior. We started with his clothing and the fun things that were not needed were given back last. It seem like we might have went a little over the top, but as you know when your at the end, you are at the end.
Good luck and I hope you find this idea helpful if worked really well for our kid. He never steals anything ever.

Answer 2

Not only is he a thief--but the bigger question is what is he spending the money on???

You need to find a family counselor ASAP before you have to hire a lawyer to get him out of trouble when he steals from the neighborhood store.

His grades dropping are not your biggest concern right now. You are the parent. Take him to a counselor and if his grades drop--guess what--he gets grounded. Just b/c he's in counseling doesn't mean he's not accountable for his actions. There are still consequences to pay when he messes up.

He might even need some in-patient treatment depending on WHY your son is acting this way........

Answer 3

Do you give him an allowance, or any other way to earn money? I am not saying that he is right to steal, but maybe he doesn't see any other way.

The first thing I would do is up his chores to a level that makes it impossible for him to go anywhere for a few days. Make him work off the money that he stole. While he is working that off, try to get to the bottom of why he is stealing. You could take him to a therapist, but they aren't always the answer.

A suggestion I would make is to get involved with a parent support group or forum. Or even see a parent trainer or therapist yourself. I'm not saying that you need a therapist, but maybe some guidance so that you can help your son in the most effective way.

Answer 4

My friend had a similar problem with her son. He cleverly told his parents that the fee for hot lunch at school had gone up, and would then use the extra money he got to get snacks etc. Later when Mom called the school to pre-pay for a quarter in advance, she found out the price had not gone up at all. She had a talk with him about right and wrong and then they sat down and figured out how much money extra he had taken over the weeks. He had to take a cold lunch to school for a certain number of weeks until all the money he had 'scammed' was paid back.

Maybe you can come up with a similarly creative way to make the punishment fit the crime.

Answer 5

Whip his behind. For some odd reason, the only thing that gets through to children is a good old fashion beating. (don't draw blood or anything like that!) Just put your son in his place. Fear is a motivator to do good, and that's just fact. Counseling and talking to him are obviously not working. So step up, and take control. He's still a child and you are his parent...he needs to understand and respect that. Good luck.

Answer 6

My nephew had so many problems with his parents,teachers,then the law .They got him therapy,medications and nothing worked.They even had him taking an anti-psychotic medication.My uncle talked to a good friend of his and his friend suggested Military school.They enrolled him in military school and he is off all the medications,he is getting good grades,he is very respectful and has not gotten into trouble.The school told my uncle that he was lacking discipline.That without discipline they don't have any direction in their life.He is such a totally different person.

Answer 7

i'm sure you've gone to doctors about this... sometimes doctors think they know too much(you know what i mean) they over medicate and underlook the problem... your sons condition could even be ADHD or just ADD ..he could be getting bored with what he does in school and not care or bored with the toys and pick up the stealing...it could be "crafty or creative" for him ... how about attention.. do you and your husband both have full time jobs or hobbies that take alot of your time..he could be striving for negative attention. i do agree with you however that this can and will lead to trouble. soon its not just gonna be money its gonna be that candy bar or toy...then hes going to want that movie that you told him no too...and at 10 not understand store security system and me labeled a shop lifter... i'm not at liberty to tell you how to stop this but you need to take him to a doctor and have a complete eval.. not just a "what wrong with my son" tell him EVERYTHING ...and hopefully everything will work out... i hope for the best with you, and no matter what you are a good parent.... and remind yourself of that. hope i helped

Answer 8

There are probably too many issues that can be solved in this forum. Counseling is probably the best option for your son but you can't change your son - he can only change himself. I would also think about a family session to see if your son opens up. It sounds like he is rebelling against something. Nip this quick. Good luck.

Answer 9

Put him back it counceling and do not let him manipulate you with his grades. Regarding the stealing, lock up your money or always have it on you so he does not have access to it. If he wants money he needs to work for it. He is only 10, this does not reflect future behavior. He may outgrow it and maybe not. But it is best to nip it in the bud now.

Answer 10

Maybe if you gave him an allowance, he might not need to steal money!!??

In case you haven't noticed, life is expensive, and for a kid with no way to make money, that can be tough. So give the kid a list of chores and an allowance, so that he will "earn" money.