My boyfriend had cheated before long ago, and asked for another chance. I gave it to him. It has been almost a year. He goes on my pc long hours, and I had a bad feeling, so I put on a keylogger to see everything he does, I found out he looks at naked women & he put up an add for sex...wanting it (as if he don't get enough, at least 1 or more times a day everyday) under a new email I never knew about it. I confronted him. At first he denied it, then admitted to it. I gave him again, another chance, I just don't know if I can really trust him, and we talk about marriage and kids. He told me he gives me his word, which he has before, and has broken it. Maybe he really wants to be good and thinks he will be, but maybe later on he won't be. I don't want to marry the wrong guy- help!!!
2007-01-08 03:29:46 · 42 answers · asked by Tracy L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it sounds like he is looking for somethingelse. stop letting him use your computer...he might leave!
2007-01-08 03:32:57 · answer #1 · answered by pamcake 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow....i dont believe how many girls out there are going thru the same thing i am!! first of all...all my sympathies sweetie. i know exactly how u feel coz im going thru the same thing right now. My bf of 4 yrs even uses his webcam for the purpose!! He talks to me bout marriage n kids..n is so loving all the time..this was the last thing i expected.I cannot give u a resolved answer right now..coz im myself struggling with the issue.But yes..i do feel that any relationship without trust is as good as dead.We might be able to forgive our guys right now...but i dont think we can forget what they did to us.Unless n until they're strong enough,and value us enough to really want to 'change'. Still..there remains the problem of whether this behaviour may re-occur or not. Moreover..after this incident..it'll be a pain for me to be with him..coz everytime he goes near a computer..i'll freak out....everytime he'll leave town..i'll be wondering what he's doing,or whether he is with some else right now.And i'm sure you must be feeling the same way.I've asked a lot of these questions..but ultimately you know your man best..n somewhere in your heart u will know whether this will happen again or not.Follow that voice honey.I know how painful it is..especially coz we're looking at a long term relationship..and also because its scary to be alone and move out of a relationship.But trust me..u'll get over it.Its better to be uncomfortable for a little while than be unconfortable n anxious your entire life.Think bout it.Good luck.I hope things work out well for both of us.
2007-01-08 04:00:56 · answer #2 · answered by tina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on how you feel when it comes to this, you have already given him 2 chances and warned him the first time to clean his act up and making the effort to help him without controlling his life. You might want to talk to him again as a once more try about what you think of him looking up naked girls on your computer and what you think of the sex ads. If he does not know your feelings on this especially if you are a religious type then he won't know that it is hurting you. I am sure that his intentions are good to change but he can't change what he can't acknowledge and pointing him in the right direction might help him out a little bit. The thing is that you have decide if the relationship is worth keep or if it worth just saying good-bye to. Keep in mind that whatever decision you decide to make it will be a decision you will have to be comfortable with. Just make it is what you want to do and that he has had notice so he can't say you did not try to work it out with him and try to make amends.
2007-01-08 03:40:01 · answer #3 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like this guy does not love or respect you...plus, he's already cheated once that you know of. In your heart, you know he's cheated more than that. I never understand why someone we love can hurt us like that. You don't deserve it, and he does not deserve another chance. Basically, he's using you, and if he cared about you at all, he'd show you by being in a committed relationship with you. Like the saying goes, once a cheater...always a cheater. Do you want to just keep thinking if he's cheating on you all the time throughout your relationship??? I understand you have feeling for him, but the smart thing to do would be to move on. If my girlfriend gave me sex everyday, why would I have to cheat, especially if i loved her? You deserve better. Good luck to you.
2007-01-08 03:38:05 · answer #4 · answered by akerockstar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think some people would think its better to see each other naked before they have sex so they know they're partner isn't gonna take one look at them and run haha but others i guess its better to just do it and not worry? I'd rather not have some random guy starin at me though while i got changed if we hadn't already had sex or somethin, i'd feel even more uncomfortable then!
2016-05-23 10:30:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well ill start of by saying i was with a guy just like that. I loved him to death and everything seemed to be perfect until he started being unfaithful. I forgive him time after time and we got engaged and i thought i would be the only one....however i wasnt. i had to find out the hard way that some guys just dont change and although i still love him and care about him (why i dont know) but i am much happier now knowing that there is someone else out there for me who i will be the only one for...honey you need to let him go...it will hurt and it will suck for a long time...but for you in the long run it will be a good thing...dont let someone hurt you like that you deserve so much more
2007-01-08 03:41:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess when they were passing out brains, you thought you said trains, and said, I don't want to go anywhere. These are what you call "dating danger signal." Wise up. He is just emotionally attached to you for the free booty until he can find some other wilder woman. Leave him. I know your type. You bf beats the crap out of you and then next week he comes back with flowers and saying he will never do it again, and you go back to him. Then two weeks later, he beats the crap out of you again. In other words, how much crap does a woman have to put up with a man before she finally FIGUES OUT, that the bf should be dumped with the trash. Here is a tip. When you dump him, tell him. "I was gonna break up with you yesterday, but I remembered that today was the day to throw out the trash."
2007-01-08 03:35:38 · answer #7 · answered by Big C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you some WORDS OF ADVISE> Once a cheater...ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS a cheater. If he has done it before and you gave him another chance, thats like saying go ahead and treat me bad, and I'll take you back every time. Some time soon, you will realize that you DO NOT deserve this. There is a guy out there who wants a girl EXACTLY like you and wont ever hurt you like that... Go find him... Because its obvious to everyone this is not the guy for you. He is a JERK and he is pathetic. GOod luck
2007-01-08 03:34:12 · answer #8 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake-up and realize that he is not going to change. If you want him to change so you can marry him then you are just setting yourself up for an ugly divorce down the road. Now answer my question...you two really have sex at least once a day? Please don't think I am a prude for saying this, but, that's a lot of sex so it's probably all he is looking for in the relationship.
2007-01-08 03:35:51 · answer #9 · answered by True Grits 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get some councilling (or rather he does) to find out why he does these things!!! That is if you really care\love him.
I'm afraid the ball is in your court as to whether you walk away or not. Bear in mind you've given him so many second chances already!
Otherwise its time to think about yourself and get some self respect back and walk, then take some time to concentrate on what you want...
If it was me I would've walked just after he goofed up the (first) second chance you gave him!
You can only give one second chance! Not 3/4 they're no longer second chances!!!
2007-01-08 03:34:32 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am answering this question seriously........Maybe your man is a sex addict. Maybe no matter how much you give it to him, it won't be enough and no matter how hard you try to keep him happy he won't ever be. He may truly be addicted to sex to the point that you can't help him. There are psychologists who can deal with this and even support groups for the significant others in relationships with these people. I am not joking and not making fun at all. I work for a polygrapher and we have done testing on sex addicts in the past and they really do exist
2007-01-08 03:33:59 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋