I need you to say something that will cheer me up?

Question

Sorry people but im just pretty irritated today sort of....i dont want to go to work today feeling upset and irritated because i dont want to get into it with anyone....
please give me a funny website or tell me a joke that can cheer me up a little...i dont try to let my bad day rub off on other people (although its not a bad day so far) i makes jokes on here to let u people laugh so say something funny for a brotha!

Aaron

Answer 1

Once upon a time there was a non-conforming swallow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, when the weather turned very cold he reluctantly started to fly southwards. In the short time ice began to form on its wings and it fell to the earth in a barnyard frozen still. A cow passed by and crapped on the little swallow. The swallow that it was the end. But the dung warned it and defrosted its wings. Warm and happy, able to breath, it started to chirp. Just then a large tom-cat came by and hearing the chirping, found out where it was coming from, clawed away the dung and swallow the swallow.

Moral: Every one who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy: every one who gets you out of the shits is not necessarily your friend; and if you are warm and happy in a pile of ****, keep your mouth shut.

Answer 2

Go 2 a drive thru and try these out:...

1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order.
2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order something that you didn't ask the price for.
3. Tell the employee that your window is broken. Order and then pay with your door open. When the food comes, roll down the window and snatch your order from their hands.
4. Go to McDonald's and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight.
5. Pay for a large order in pennies and nickels.
6. Order in another language. Be careful what neighborhood you're in.
7. When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window-shopping and drive on.
8. Laugh sadistically when asked if you would like ketchup.
9. Ask the cashier how they fit into that little box.
10. If they make you wait, make them wait when they come back on.
11. Demand to speak to the manager. When they come on, complain that you did not like the way the employee said, "May I take your order?"
12. When asked if they can take your order say, "Why, can I take yours?"
13. If they ask you to wait, order anyway and keep doing it till they yell at you.
14. Pretend your car has broken down. Ask for assistance moving it. When they come out, drive away.
15. Tell them you have to use the bathroom.
16. Order a cup of water and two napkins. That's it.
17. Don't order when they come on. Just sit there. If a line forms behind you, get out of the car and cause a scene.
18. When they hand you your food, hand them a bag with all the trash from your car in it.
19. Just stare at them when you pay and get your food. Don't break your stare.
20. Honk your horn the whole way through the line.

Answer 3

A hick farmer and his son were in the big city for the first time, when the boy spotted a large pair of metal doors.

"Pa, what's that?" the boy asked. They watched in awe as a fat, ugly woman stepped inside the doors. Moments later the doors opened again, and a thin beautiful lady stepped out.

"Gee son, I don't know, but go get yer Ma!" the man whispered to his son ...

Answer 4

The Swedish Chef cant speak swedish

and

those that walk with noses in air, often walk into many things!

Answer 5

www.youtube.com

Search: Box in a Box

Funny video.

Have a good day :-)

Answer 6

peek a boo I see you♥

Answer 7

www.badjocks.com- sports scandals

Answer 8

If quizs are quizical, what are tests.

Answer 9

whats long and hard and full of seamen?





its a submarine you sick-o! what did you think it was?!?!?!?!!!