Am I rude and stuck up just because I rarely talk to people first?

Question

I've been told that I'm rude and stuck up. I don't think so. Just because I don't put on a false cheerful face and act all giddy like a cheerleader I don't think that makes me rude or stuck up.

Answer 1

Nothing wrong with a smile and a wink just to acknowledge people's existence.

However, I do believe people should talk when they have something to say and shut up when they do not.

You're not stuck up, you're savvy.

Answer 2

Wow, I just had this talk with my girlfriend the other day. I think this is an issue of growing up. Unfortunately, the world revolves around perception and first impressions. Although you know you are not stuck up, it really doesn't matter because people will make up their own minds about you. I for one, have a tendency to think of quiet people as rude when I first meet them. I don't want anyone to be fake, but at the same time I think there is a fundamental, human etiquette to talking and introductions. And you can be sincere at this. People know BS when they hear it and don't think you have to cherry. Being affable and showing a slight interest in someone is a nice way to set a great impression. I don't know how old you are, but I think when you are young you can get away with not being sociable; but usually, I feel, after college you have to get with the program. Getting a job, making friends, finding a mate all relies on this sort of informal networking that will be very determinate of your sucess in life. There will always be BS involved. You just have to face up to it and decide if your going to get with it or not. Other wise you would prepare for a career of solitude. Something like being a librarian or working at a morgue or lighthouse-maybe 3rd shift at an astronomy lab. If you're young start perfecting you socialness. It will pay off more than any degree. Good Luck.

Answer 3

I was told that people thought i was stuck up at this one job i had over the summer. I didn't talk to anybody. It was at this warehouse where we would pick medical supplies. I'd get my job done and not just stand around yapping to people all day long like everyone else. I would talk to a few people, but not stop my machine to talk for half an hour.

And don't put the cheerful face and act all giddy like a cheerleader. More people find those types stuck up.

You arn't rude to not to talk to people if you don't want to.

Answer 4

It's not rude if you don't strike up conversations with people you don't know well, but it does make you a little less approachable. Why not smile, say hi, and use the person's name when you cross paths with a coworker/classmate/friend? It's a small gesture and it doesn't require you to put on a false face, but it does make a big difference in putting people at ease around you.

I live in the Boston area, which is notorious for no one ever talking to anyone else on the street. You could always move here.

Answer 5

Are you shy? I always got accused of the exact same things, even now sometimes. I was just shy and nervous around people. I found out after high school that a lot of people thought I was this stuck up rich girl. In actuality, I was terrified to talk to anyone. I would get so nervous going to school each day that I would almost get throw up. I'm not saying your this scared or anything, but being shy is often misinterpreted like this. Also, some people are just quiet. To me, the most important thing is how you act when you do talk to people.

Answer 6

I am exactly the same. A lot of people think I'm mean or stuck up all the time. Or they don't think I like them. My friends tell me that they explain that to people all the time. They tell people to not take it personal that I'm just like that. It's not that I don't like people. Its not about that. I don't dislike or like them. I just don't know them and choose not to speak to people I don't know usually. Ur not rude or stuck up that is just how u r. Don't change that for anybody. If I all of a sudden started I speakin' to strangers and actin' all giddy then my friends would probably have a heart attack !

Answer 7

No, I don't see it as you being rude. Maybe you are just shy or perhaps just very cautious of the people you choose to deal with. There is nothing wrong with that. I get told I am rude and anti-social just because I am such a quiet person. I don't believe in being someone you're not and I don't like being fake. If that makes me rude and stuck up in their eyes, it just means they can't respect me and my quietness or just the fact that I'm not a cheerful person and perhaps THEY need reassurance that they are liked. All you need to do is ignore it because overly sensitive people = drama!

Answer 8

I only very rarely initiate any conversation with someone I 'come upon' during the day. It's a personal decision based on my inability to endure small talk. I know that it is not prompted by anything rude or negative, but some people judge it that way. I know this, and so it doesn't bother me at all. I am not going to change my manner.

Answer 9

Well, that is how they want to perceive you fine-let them people have the right to think what they want right? People have said the same thing about me, and I can be both the giddy; cheerful stranger or the introvert-it all depends on how and who I'm with.

Answer 10

Look at it this way, if a large percentage of people believe you are behaving rudely, then you might want to at least think about modifying your behavior, at least some.

There is probably some middle ground that could be reached.

Think about it this way too: if everyone adopted your approach, there would be virtually no conversation at all.