I have some relatives who are considerably more wealthy than I. Everytime I go out with them my uncle offers pays dinner and hands me a wad of cash. For my own dignity I don't accept, but this seems to annoy him. What's the proper etiquette?
2007-01-08 03:09:32 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Yeah, but don't you think it's like saying I'm poor and less than? If I was just as rich he would not give me the money. I'm not a child or anything either. I'm an adult who has a good job comparably to most and support myself just fine. It's just awkward and unnecessary. I don't see these people often and my motive is to get to know them as family. This whole money thing belittles the whole thing I think.
2007-01-08 03:28:08 · update #1
When someone gives it as gift out of affection for the person, it is proper to take it and if you get a chance you can give him a gift next time by buying something he likes. This way there is give and take... I believe in a relationship (be it your relatives, friends, etc) exchanging gifts strengthen bonds (the gift may even be a small rose)
2007-01-08 03:24:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, he knows he can afford it and wants to help out. It is his way of giving back. Some people would consider your behavior rude. Dignity is that the same as PRIDE? Pride is ego pure and simple.
You are not asking for his money so if he gets enoyment in paying all your doing is robbing him of that pleasure.
Why not let him pay next time and then take a minute and send him a thank you note a few days later. I think he would find his happiness and by doing so you would also be acting to really make him feel good. Saying thank you at the time is proper but sending a note is really the best way to say thank you.
2007-01-08 03:28:58 · answer #2 · answered by Kdude 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This man is your uncle, a relative and from a generation older than you (even if he is your uncle by marriage).
Unless you fear that he will take advantage of you in response to giving you money, or he wants something inappropriate or wrong from you, there is no reason for you not to accept.
Families share money -- and it appears that your uncle is only trying to help you. Perhaps he particularly likes you, or has a fondness for his sibling (your parent) and would like to help you because of that. You needn't question this kindness. He is not a stranger, and (we assume) he is not trying to get something from you in return for the money.
The deeper question is why you won't accept it? Is it because you are ashamed? Or do you feel that he will lord it over you? If this were a cousin or a sibling of similar age, it would be one thing, but historically older relatives have given younger relatives money as an act of kindness and to help the younger relatives make it in life.
Ettiquette-wise there is no reason not to accept it. Thank him warmly for it when he gives it to you, and then in a few days write a brief letter to him telling how his money helped (even if you only paid the electric bill with it!).
Again, if your pride is in the way, try to put it aside for his sake. He's got pride too, and if he wants to help you with money there's not reason to deny him this pleasure. He is a relative after all!
2007-01-11 15:28:14 · answer #3 · answered by elizabeth_hayes_bofa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I had a wealthy relative offering, I would grab it, but I do understand your feelings, you don't want to be thought of as the one who sticks around for the money, but it sounds like you have stuck around for awhile without it, so I would say you proved yourself by now. Take the money and buy him something nice, or treat you and him to a night out! Maybe you could pick up the bill next time. I promise if you whisper to your server/waitress that you want the bill and you'll make it worth her wile if she makes sure you get it, you will get the bill!
2007-01-08 03:22:44 · answer #4 · answered by one_lil_voice 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you consider it hurting your dignity if you accept the money? He is older and wealthier than you, he is just trying to help you and share the wealth while he still can. It makes him feel good to help you out, since he has the means to do so. It's really no different than any relative giving you money. I would always pay for any relative who is younger than me, if we went out. I couldn't imagine my nephew paying for my lunch, even if he did make more money.
It's like spending money on your parents, I'm sure they don't like it and it makes them uncomfortable. Even if you make more, they will tell you to save your money. It's just how most older generations are. They like to pay their own way and help whenever they can-if you are lucky.
2007-01-08 03:23:42 · answer #5 · answered by that dead girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If its a gift then accept it. But make sure there are no strings attached. Just make sure he isn't going to try to take you to court and get money out of you saying that he loaned you some money.
2007-01-08 04:22:50 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Brown Eyed Girl ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Unless it's appropriate to only accept money from relatives who have less money. That doesn't make sense.
Moreover, I'd accept oranges from my orange growing relative, since they have more oranges than I do. If you're uncomfortable, blatantly tell them that you do not want their money. Honesty works in many situations.
2007-01-08 03:14:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
settle for it for a jointly as so which you have a cushion because of the fact, once you have a cushion that's much less stressful to maintain funds. Then once you get a head to a factor that makes you gentle provide the a refund.
2016-11-27 19:44:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take it. If he's going to be like that, then do him a favor and take the money. Maybe it'll put him in a good/better mood.
2007-01-08 03:18:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heck I'd accept money from YOUR wealthy relative.
2007-01-08 03:12:49 · answer #10 · answered by Goddess of Grammar 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋