After your divorce,?

Question

how soon did you decide to remarry? How did you know the time was right?

Answer 1

You will know when the time is right when it is, you will just feel it. There's no amount of time you should or shouldn't wait. It just depends on how long your healing process takes. If you're over it right away and you know for sure then by all means move on. If you're hurting and/or sad still then you might want to take some extra time to yourself to put those pieces back together. Just don't go on with someone else when you still have unsupported emotions with the last one. That will only hurt you and the next person. Just remember to let it happen, don't make it. Things will fall into place when they're meant to.

Answer 2

lol well I am still not remarried. For a long time I said I would never get remarried, but things have changed. You need to #1 start dating, #2 have a serious long term relationship. You don't want to just jump on the next person that comes along and get married because emotionally you are still attatched to the idea of being in that type of relationship. You need to give yourself time to heal and get remarried for the right reasons and not just because it is the type of relationship you are used to.

Answer 3

Thanks to the folly of religiosity, I divorced a woman that may well have been the perfect wife.

I seriously doubt I'll ever remarry, though I did strongly consider an LTR (with the possibility of marriage) about a year later -- but that was only because a phenomenally pretty friend that I thought was waaay out of even my league (women think I'm handsome and studly) seduced me.

Don't get me wrong: it wasn't like she had to try *that* hard, but I was simply flabbergasted for her interest in me. The sex was great, and I was hopeful, but she and I each had far too much "baggage" to be in a relationship. It fizzled, but I can now go to my grave satisfied that I've had the best sex humanly possible.

That isn't to suggest that marriage is only about sex, but compatibility is an issue (appearance, hygiene, size, stamina, technique, etc.) in that department just as much as it is in the "political and religious beliefs" department.

Marriage is about the synergistic union of two (or more) people -- not simply (as some would suggest) merely in the procreative sense, but primarily in the sense of each adding to the other's already-excellent fulfillment in life.

If you get to the point (a) where your participation in the life of a potential mate significantly improves both that person's quality of life and your quality of life, and (b) where your potential mate's participation in your life significantly improves both that person's and your quality of life, THEN consider moving the relationship towards marriage.

Being lonely and/or horny is not an excuse to marry. Habit is not an excuse to remarry (and should, imho, be a reason to NOT remarry).

Answer 4

I have never remarried or wanted to (I divorced my husband over 20 years ago). My personal view is that it would be hypocritical of me to make 'till death us do part' vows more than once in my life. I am happy and willing to consider a life partner, but as yet I have not met anyone who has changed my mind on this subject. For you, only you can judge when you feel the time is right. Good luck.

Answer 5

I am trying to figure that one out myself. I have been divorced since the day after Christmas 2000. I have a great guy right now that had followed me half way across the United States. He does so much for me. He keeps asking me to marry him but, I am afraid that I will make the same mistakes that I did before. How will I know if it will be different? I guess we will never know. It is scary to think that you will have to go through all of that again. But then there is nothing wrong with life time partners.

Answer 6

There is no set length of time. Between my first and second marriage I was single for 5 years. Between my second and my third I was single less than a year. I am single again now and plan to stay that way. The best advice I can give you is to play the field. Don't get serious about anyone for a while and let your mind settle down from the previous marriage. Don't rush it. I am seeing some one that I told when I started to see her that I had no intentions of getting married again for quite some time and we have been seeing each other for a little over a year and she is talking marriage. I hate to have to hurt her feelings, but I'm not going to marry her for at least 8 to 10 years. I am finally free and I intend to stay that way and if she can't understand that then I will break it off with her. Have some fun before you concider getting married again. You will be glad you did.

Answer 7

Time, depends on each individual. We all have to grieve for the relationship that "died". Only you will know when the time is right to remarry, only do not do it too soon. You could be on the "rebound", not really in love, just wanting to fill the void in your life. Good luck.

Answer 8

It took me 10years to trust a man again after my divorce from a violent man,But i am so happy to learn that not all men are like that,I am now very happily married for the second and last time to a man that is my world,I know that he is the right one because he has had to put up with my constant insecurity's and mood-swings of trying to trust another man,But we have got there and have been happily married for 10years this July

Answer 9

I've been divorced almost 3 years....the thought of remarrying makes me nauseous!! Everyone is different, just don't jump back into another marriage too quickly.

Answer 10

Why Marriage? Marriage is over-rated! Obviously you need to find your soul-mate, which I think we all have one out there somewhere. Get to know them inside and out, live w/them and then make that decision when you're ready. I think at least several years after your divorce should you even start thinking about having a serious relationship w/someone else!!