How come the guys that show the most interest are usually the ones you have nothing in common with and no chemistry? It seems like after I tell them I'm not feeling anything it just makes them try harder. I give these guys a chance but you just can't force attraction and feelings.
2007-01-08 03:02:25 · 12 answers · asked by Jen_n_TX 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I asked a former boyfriend about his many years ago because I was curious myself and we were very close and honest at the time and this is what he told me: Guys like a challenge and don't have to save face in light of a rejection...sort of a knee jerk reaction. If a woman says no, it is like "what do you mean no!" I will show you how great a guy I am and you will change your mind", followed many times by "I really didn't want her I just didn't want to be the one to be rejected so I dumped her after I got her to like me. I'M THE MAN!"
Stupid, I know, but true, especially in males under 30.
2007-01-08 03:08:56 · answer #1 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you "give these guys a chance" you are encouraging them--so of course they respond (show interest). There can be a lot of reasons for this. One of the most common is that a woman is "trolling for the wrong fish." Here's what I mean:
Some men are outgoing--the life of the party types. They're the frrst ones you notice. But for some women, that may be all well and good, but the guy who really turns them on is the quiet, shy guy nobody notices at first. You may be someone like that. Or the personality interactions for you might be entirely different. The point is, sit down and think about what you find attractive in a man. Then look for that type--maybe trying some new places and social activities to improve your chances. If you like the athletic type, for example, try athletic activities--if you find someone who is intellectual interesting, check out book clubs, or continuing education classes. Etc., etc., etc.
BTW--obviously you've figured out you aren't doing yourself any favor by leting the situation remain as it is. But you aren't doing these guys any favor, either--bot of you are wasting your time. Not to mention the guys you would really like that haven't had a chance to get to know you. I don't mean to put all this on You--but when someone is in your situation, usually something is wrong with your tactics (and that goes for anyone, male or female).
2007-01-08 03:16:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know i was the same way with my husband. But life is crazy the one person you think you'd never make it with because you have no chemistry or things in common with ends up being the perfect person for you. They say oppisites attract, and thats not always wrong. Maybe you should give someone like that a chance. It may be the best decision you've ever made. But you'll never know until you actly try it. Hope this helped.
2007-01-08 03:07:16 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys sometimes get in a daydreaming phase and think they really care about you. I think they are less likely to be realistic about whether or not you are interested in them. There doesn't appear to be anything wrong with your thinking, so just continue being yourself. If they keep approaching and after you have expressed you feelings, just tell them that you wish them luck and discontinue all conversations with them. Good luck
2007-01-08 03:10:26 · answer #4 · answered by Jan C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's because they're the most desperate. For example, I dated a guy a while back and he was really nice and sweet, but I couldn't stand being around him most of the time. And he tried really hard to keep me around b/c no one else pittied him as much as i did and he never had relationships. But hey, I got some good strawberries out of it! lol
2007-01-08 03:05:02 · answer #5 · answered by Cori 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you just like guys that have little to no interest in you. I think what you should do is find a guy that either is married or just wants to **** you on the weekends
2007-01-08 03:21:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that feelings. Its not fair of course! there are few guys that really want me but i dont want them. They keep try and try, wont give up. You have to tell the truth than hold it down and dont want to hurt them. I did want that guy, i tried my best to get him, i worked so hard to get him and i failed so i had to give up and looked others, and STILL looking. So life is not fair and all you have to move on and be blunt abt the truth.
2007-01-08 03:06:22 · answer #7 · answered by MissGal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Males are motivated by sex. Even though you may be dim witted and boring, you may still be phyically attractive. Thus, the male is not interested in pleasing you on a social level. He just wants in your pants.
2007-01-08 03:05:08 · answer #8 · answered by Your Online Genius 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ladies like drama a man that doesn't care much means he won't be all lovydovy on you, your the woman your lovy a mans gotta be cold
2007-01-08 03:05:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We love the challange!
2007-01-08 03:04:20 · answer #10 · answered by guradical 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋