Family problem.?

Question

I have lived 100 miles away from my mom for 2 years but we are very close. My brother and his wife and 2 neices moved 100 miles to live across the street from us 6 months ago. Everything was fine until my sister-in-law started complaining that my mom doesnt spend 50/50 time between the two households and that my neice cries that Grandma doesn't come to see them. My mom spends several hours there and most of the time here (I have kids too). I am tired of the whole situation and feel I can't have my mom at my house without hearing how my neice cries.. (Also, my sister-in-law won't let the girls come here when my moms here - she can only see the girls at their house). Is my mom wrong not to do 50/50? Is it my sister in laws fault for not coming here if my moms here?

My mom thinks its ridiculous and feels uncomfortable over there so that is why she stays here. My sister-in-law is very rude to my mom and my brother doesn't talk much either. Plus, when they visit their friends that live by my mom, they NEVER stop by and see my mom. Thats why I have a hard time believing that my neice is so upset.

Answer 1

Most families have one household that seems to be the gathering spot for social gatherings or "just a drop in for a coffee and chat" spot. No one should be wasting time trying to balance the scales on visitation.Nothing in life is truly 50-50 when it comes to family.As a family try to use your time wisely, you don't want to a day bickering over an unattainable balancing act.Talk to your brother and see if he can help in resolving this issue.It seems that if your brother and sister-in-law moved 100 miles to be closer to family a walk across the street would be a breeze.Why not take turns having a coffee day at each others home and try build bridges.Your brother and sister-in-law are denying their children of a grandmother over some weak principal.If you all really love your mother why put her in the middle of this sad situation.Life is a finite resource use it wisely.

Answer 2

With your sister in law being right across the street I can understand how it would be hurtful. With the kids being able to see when grandma is across the street I think it should be more even. I would think your sister in law is hurt and its being resentful therefore insisting that your mother in law come over there instead of always having to go to her. If the situation was reversed how would you feel seeing you mother at your brothers all them time instead of both of your houses.
Good Luck.

Answer 3

I would think it is naturally normal for the your mother to visit you.
Family is family, why is your sister in law trying to separate you.
Being close and everyone getting together should be a blast.
As far as someone wanting the Grandma all to themselves I could understand why you would want alone time with your mother.....its a mother and daughter thing.
As it would be for a Dad and son thing.
What does your mother say?
Sounds like she's the monkey in the middle....ouch!
I feel for the children involved, hoping her children aren't hearing if Grandma is there you can't see her type thing.....harmful for your relationship as Aunt and Uncle....and children tend to blame themselves with out any help from us.

Best wishes.....

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with how your mother chooses to visit. there is however something wrong with your sister in law for not letting her daughter come over and visit grandma. It is ridiculous for her to say that grandma can only see her if she comes over there. She is doing nothing but punishing her own child and thats probably why she cries all the time.
she needs to get over herself and remember that she has children who want to see grandma too.

Answer 5

There is nothing wrong it with. Mothers generally have a very strong bond with their daughters so it would be normal to speend more time with you

Answer 6

its your mom not her's were is her mom?