What do you call this behavior, and how would you handle it?

Question

I met this guy 3 months ago, & we decided to be friends with benefits, but what actually ended up happening was our friends with benefits turned into casual encounters. I am ok with this, and he is the only person I am sleeping with so no I am not a hoe I am just not in a relationship with him. I tried to be nice by inviting him to my house when we hang out because I did not want him to think that I was out to use him or that he had to put me up in a fancy hotel all the time. Now he does things like IM me on holidays, & sends me IM's on Sundays to ask me how my weekend was, and I am trying to figure out why. I have a real mans approach to "fwb" so I don't require anything. I don't need dinner or a movie, and you don't have to spend money on me. I feel we are two squirrels trying to get a nut. We don't really know anything about each other because there has never been a reason to find out, and again yes I am ok with this.

He lives out of town, & he usually just calls to tell me when he has made it in. Now he tells me his plans of coming in. He tells me what he is doing at the moment like watching the game, & now when he comes over I have to tell him it’d ok to get comfortable when earlier he just did. I am in love with my ex, & we are still trying to see where things are going to go so it’s not that I am cold hearted and incapable of feeling for someone I am having sex with it’s just I see him as someone to have sex with until me and my ex gets back together. I have not shared this with the guy because we only meet up for casual encounters any way. What I am saying is, is this guy feeling something for me or does he just want a friendship so we can actually be friends with benefits instead of casual encounter or do he want something more. I think he just wants to know he has ***’ to come back to when he is in town, but my gf said she thinks for him it’s more than that. She said it became more than

that for him when I invited him to my house instead of continuing to make him pay for a room.

Answer 1

Like any man, regardless of the FWB title, after awhile, they will want and expect more, no matter what they say. Actions speak louder than words and it sounds like this fella is making steps to move on to the next level. If that is not what you want or ready for because of your feelings for your ex, it might be best to end the FWB arrangement as he will end up feeling used and possibly end up hating you for feeling "mislead".

Answer 2

It sounds like he took your invitation to your place as a signal that something might be developing.

While perhaps it is nice to have sex every so often, sex is about more than just a physical act. You really should not engage in sex without strings unless you actually know the person you are going to sleep with and are sure that is what they want. It sounds like you need to talk to the guy and perhaps stop the encounters all together.

Your relationship with your ex-boyfriend cannot and should not come back together while you are sleeping with another guy. Again, sex is more than just an act and emotions are affected. You cannot be sure that you are responding to your ex properly when you are sleeping with another guy.

Take care,
Troy

Answer 3

I'd say clean up your life and work with one relationship and stop setting yourself up for confusion and heartbreak. Do the right thing regardless of how difficult it is. This other guy is in another relationship and he is not interested in you as a person. Why settle for second best in life. Good luck in your life.....

Answer 4

make sure he knows tha tyou are still only in it for teh sex

sounds like he is falling for you

please be nice to him and dont break his heart

Answer 5

Geez. It sounds like he's falling for you. If you like him at all then you should give him a chance.

Answer 6

Oh stop trying to play like you are so hard.
You like him and YES HE LIKES YOU!