I had recently found out that the best man of my wedding had not invited me to be in his bridal party. My wedding was less than a year ago. He is going to have a large wedding about 200 guests. His wedding party has 10 on each side. I never asked him who was in his wedding party because I didn't want it to seem like I was imposing. He has a lot of friends so I figured he was just inviting family in his wedding party in order to avoid the "which friend to invite problem". Which I wouldn't care since family comes first. I checked out his wedding webpage and found that he has invited every close friend but me. I don't want to be the guy who causes problems and it is his wedding but I have been a close friend since grade school and I have helped him out in his wedding planning. This is one of the very few times in my life where I was truly offended. How should I approach this? Should I ask him why I wasn't invited or should I just not bring it up and pretend like everything fine? Thanks
2007-01-08 02:48:37 · 4 answers · asked by Carl T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Have you looked at the bride's side? Perhaps there was some matching done to the bride's side that meant you were left out. If you feel offended, then I suggest you speak to your friend and ask him what the logic was. Tell him that you were hurt because he did not want to include you in his special day, but that you understand he had to make those choices in accordance with his bride's wishes. At this point, I would stop helping him with wedding planning and indicate that since you are not part of the wedding party, you do not want to take duties away from those who are his attendants (who should be helping him). Make suggestions as to who should take on those wedding planning duties, and then attend the bachelor party and wedding as the true friend you are. Give a nice (but not extravagant) gift and end it there. Since he has already asked his groomsmen, there is no chance he will now rescind his offer to another of his friends, you can only express your hurt and move on graciously and as the better man.
Oh, and if one of his other groomsmen drops out, and he turns to you...then I would politely turn him down. You shouldn't have to be a fill-in or second choice.
2007-01-08 03:02:25 · answer #1 · answered by Jenny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are really that close of friends I would bring it up - but be tactfull about it. He may have a very good reason as to why you weren't selected. It's not that big of an issue to get into an argument over it. Just say something like you wrote above - that you visited his wedding webpage and noticed his wedding party. Maybe it was his future wife that wouldn't let him choose you. It's best to talk about it so you don't let is fester inside you.
2007-01-08 10:56:01 · answer #2 · answered by GingerGirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The same thing happened to my husband - his best friend of 15 years ws our best man, and then two years later he got married and left my husband out. We found out later that it was because the bride, who was in my wedding party because we needed one more girl but was not close - thought she would have to invite me to be in her wedding party as well and she already had close friends she wanted to ask. Dave was a bit hurt, but he let it go. It's better not to make a big deal about it.
2007-01-08 11:28:02 · answer #3 · answered by Chrys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just ask him. there has to be a reason why.if he has alreasy got 10...what's one more?! i would just bring it up as you said. and find out why.
good luck
2007-01-08 11:17:34 · answer #4 · answered by pamcake 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋