6 months ago my gf got a letter from an ex boyfriend from over 10 years ago, sayin he wanted to catch up from old friends as he had got divorced. she was honest and upfront about it. things were cool for a while but then her attitude towards me changed. i got suspicious and checked her phone to find they were txting. i confronted her but she denied it. i then found a txt saying she has made him happier then he had been for 4 years she went mad with me for checking her phone (understandable). she now says she loves me but dosnt know what she wants but swears shes not cheating on me. and says they only txt occasionaly( i know this is not true as ive still cheked the phone. im now probably making this worse as i bring things up all the time. do i just walk away or what. its hard as i work away and only get home at weekends
2007-01-08 02:48:07 · 13 answers · asked by bruce s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You've spoke with her and you've told her that you are concerned.
I would be suspicious however I wouldn't make every moment that we have together an argument.
You're aware and you need to stay in tune, however try and trust her too.
Tell her you love her and you want to make it work (if that is what you want) She doesnt know what she wants....tell her what you want....in a positive way....and ask her what you can do to help her know....Its now between you and her.......figure it out together....
Best wishes
2007-01-08 02:56:25 · answer #1 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship without trust is doomed.
I have an friendship with an old flame (for 30 years). He and I have a very unusual relationship and would do anything (within reason) for one another; however, we have never had a relationship as a couple. We have spent time together off and on for 30 years, with the last 20 being only friends (no intimacy). We are usually in other relationships when we get CAUGHT up and we respect our significant others. However, anyone that saw us together would think we were involved, we aren't. We value our friendship, and have a healthy love and respect for one another. We usually keep our relationship (friendship) from our significant others because they wouldn't understand and like you, would assume there is something more. Underlying, there probably is, but our friendship is more important then trying to sack each other.
We are a classic case of "things are not always as they seem".
You have to trust your judgment and do what makes you happy. Know this, they will ALWAYS be friends whether you stay or go!!!
2007-01-08 11:02:14 · answer #2 · answered by Dancer3d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I wouldn't forgive dishonesty. It may only be flirting by text at the moment but she didn't tell you before you checked her phone. Now she doesn't know what she wants. You can either let her decide for both of you, or you make a decision. It's obviously bothering you so if I were you, I'd walk.
2007-01-08 10:53:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, stop checking her phone, because you are only getting your heart broken. Your gf has fallen for the biggest sucker game in the world. You may want to give this one up and walk away because she is too confused right now, and her attention is on the ex bf.
2007-01-08 10:51:18 · answer #4 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
curiousity killed the cat eh - or the romance in your case!!!! Ok look - shes been upfront about him contacting her etc and although she lied about texting him you can understand why if shes so confused about where she is, as she probably didnt want to lose you.
A new person showering us in attention is enough to turn anyones head - right now it sounds as if shes enjoying the compliments and attention - as its different - and quite flattering. However she just sounds confused. My advice to you would be to increase your attention toward her - that way - as you know its you she loves - and if you fight tooth and nail to get her back in your corner - by lavishing attention and compliments at her - she'll soon realise that shes better off with you.
Good luck xx
2007-01-08 11:25:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are, they are not just friends. Since she hasn't broken up with you, she's apparently conflicted about what she wants. Spying on her will not help the situation. She needs space right now. Tell her you should take a break until she decides what she wants.
2007-01-08 10:58:10 · answer #6 · answered by Whatever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this relationship has become unhealthy you need to spend quality time with her and find a better job u need to b home more cause it seems she feels alone alot that when she break down and start txtn her x be care full not to say more about the txtn she may leav u good luck
2007-01-08 10:53:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know where your coming from, i had the same problem with my bf. it nearly spilt us up,he has so many friends from years gone by, he often talked about them but they never call him when im with him. as a result it made me very suspicious of him and i got very paranoid. the best thing to do is just except the situation,she has been upfront with you so she has nothing to hide. good luck.
2007-01-08 11:09:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems your gf is cheating on you and you have to let go and find yourself another woman. This cheating will go on as long as you continue to work out a lot, so the only way to ease your conscience is to dump her.
2007-01-08 11:00:27 · answer #9 · answered by marizani 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally feel that if the person your with has second thoughts or doesn't know what they want once a new person comes into the picture, it means your not the one. I want to be with someone who knows I'm the one they want to be with no matter who comes along.
2007-01-08 10:55:51 · answer #10 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋