*Please Read Everything*
My sister is a complusive spender. She blows all her money on Everything... so she barely has enough money to pay her expenses.. if any. Her car just got impounded today .. b/c she missed her last 2 payments. She has had many opportunities to start saving her money .. My dad sends her cash here and there.. and so do I .. but now we are sick of it. Can you relate ? What would you do ? I think i would pay for her to go get help .. or learn about money before we give her anymore.
2007-01-08 02:45:54 · 19 answers · asked by nola_cajun 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
shes 30 .. i'm 23... sad i know
2007-01-08 02:56:13 · update #1
We SOMETIMES send her some money.. We dont pay for everything..
2007-01-08 03:21:12 · update #2
i think she needs to be punish till she can learn how to be responsible she doesn't need help she needs to ask for help and realize she has a problem then you and your family need to help her****
2007-01-08 02:49:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
STOP GIVING HER MONEY.
Have you ever heard of the term "enabling"? That's what you are all doing. She has an ADDICTION. And every time you give her money, you are helping to feed her addiction. She needs help, and I am sure there is a 12 step program for over-spenders. She needs to get help, and the first step is for you and your family to STOP giving her money. She feels she c an over spend, because when times get tough, you or her father or whomever come along and bail her out. If having her car repossessed isn't painful enough for her to learn her lesson - then she may lose her apartment/home whatever next.
What you CAN do for her is set up an appointment with a financial advisor who can help her set a realistic budget and help her with a plan to dig out of debt.
2007-01-08 02:52:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a family member was going through hard times yes I would and have helped them, but in this case I'd probably say it's time for her to learn a lesson. If you keep bailing her out, she will never learn how to manage money. She just has to learn the hard way now.
Maybe you could get her some budgeting software, or help her learn how to make a budget and live within her means. She might be more receptive if she's in dire straights, as she seems to be.
2007-01-08 02:49:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have offered my sister in law a loan as she is getting divorced.She declined ,I believe you are not helping by giving money whenever she overspends -she has to learn to be responsible ,if there is a way to teach her then fine pay for the class. If there isn't A class you have to be care full handing out money -if she doesn't spend wisely she might get a credit card and drown herself in debt.
2007-01-08 02:52:41 · answer #4 · answered by trevorgl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it's time to cut the cord so to speak. I know it's difficult, she's your sister and you love her and want to help. She needs help, not just the money but needs financial guidance. You didnt say how old she is, obviously an adult, I'm assuming young though. Ask her if she would consider letting you put her on a budget for a few months and help her get on track of controlling her spending.
As for the current issue. It's easy to say don't help her, but I'm sure I would cave and help too.
2007-01-08 02:49:27 · answer #5 · answered by customcat2000 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh, all the time! I just got money laying around and growing on my trees out in the back yard!!! It's unbelievable! I burn money in my fireplace because I have so much of it!!! If a relative of mine needs money and they are crackheads or alcoholics or even gamblers, I will ask them not to leave me out! A helping hand and nothing more...LOL!
2007-01-08 02:50:21 · answer #6 · answered by HotInTX 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop enabling your sister, she will never do for herself because she has you and your dad to fall back on. Leave her swinging in the wind, let her figure out how to get her car out of impoundment. Allow her to grow up. Its call tough love and it works.
2007-01-08 02:49:11 · answer #7 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should bring her to see a financial consultant. This will allow her to be on a financial schedule. She can lay out all of her expenses (needs & wants) and her income. She can then be put on a daily budget.
2007-01-08 02:51:36 · answer #8 · answered by Jfranc1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your sister doesnt worry about paying her bills before spending
her money on other things....then id say no dont give her anymore money.
she will be pissed-off but maybe itll help her get her priorties
straight.
2007-01-08 02:51:07 · answer #9 · answered by eniwloow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister needs help---giving her money is like giving drugs to an addict----seems like your family has some codependency issues----although its hard to see a family member struggle--your sister needs to learn to be responsible. Encourage her to get some professional help, and do not give her anymore money. She will never learn this way.
2007-01-08 02:48:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I believe that you should help when someone is in need.
However if they keep repeating and not learning from their mistakes...what can we do....keep taking from our families.
I would have to think about it....depending on how much and how often.
and..................if I was truly helping or hurtning in the long run.
Knowing I won't be around forever......
2007-01-08 03:10:43 · answer #11 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋