Being a loner........?

Question

Is ther anything wrong with being a loner?People seem to think you are stuck-up or very shy.Well I do have a little shyness in me.But mainly I am just not a people person.And is ther anything I could do to maybe change?

Answer 1

Well first off, you're a loner because you don't like other people's opinions. So screw them. When you learn how to discredit their opinions you will be fine.

No there is nothing wrong with being solitary.

Answer 2

I think it's ok being a loner.....That might indicates a sensitivity others don't have and after all many people tend to be loners. You are not the exception, I can tell how it feels. A littlle shyness isn't bad and there are people who like it or find it attractive. And there is quite a difference between being a loner and being alone. So, if this loner characteristic of yours doesn't prevent you from having a social life-even a selective number of people-then its't fine. But if it does, and you don't have friends or anyone to talk to and trust then there might be a problem. Whatever caused this, be it a dissapointment or your idiosyncrasy, it is not that difficult to overcome. In case you can't, try to visit a therapist or a consultant and they will give you some advice and some direction so you can start having some sociality......It might seems difficult in the beggining-with small steps- but it is worthy!Hope I helped you somehow......

Answer 3

Depends on your motives. Are you a loner because you enjoy being by yourself and thinking? Are you a loner because others have shunned you? Are you a loner because your standards for friendship are too high?

If you're a loner because you don't like being around other people much, there is no reason to change. Some people are just made that way. If it doesn't bother you, there's nothing wrong with it.

I'm a loner too. Being around other people physically drains me, and I'd much rather be on my own and think and create. If I'm around others too much, I feel like I'm suffocating.

If you want to be more social, then an interest group may be the place to start. Find a small group of like-minded people that are interested in the same thing as you, and go from there.

Otherwise, don't worry about it :)

Answer 4

thers nothing worng with being a loner, most ppl will think ur stuck up or shy, but well, ppl cannot judge properly.y care about what others think?its not like u have to rely on their opinions to live or something, what more , ppl with poor judgement.i ,a loner myself, enjoy thinking, almost like talking to myself.i guess by being a loner, i develop strong intuition.i can almost read ppl's mind and understand how the society goes.i think most loners are like that too.if u really want to change., then try something like going to the church,etc.tho that wont really help coz most of the time, u'll be left out in the background and then u'll start to feel alone again.

"And is ther anything I could do to maybe change?"
its up to u if u want to cahnge.if u feel more comfortable being a ppl person, then do so. if u do it to please others, then dont do it.ull never be happy this way. u might, at first, but after some time , ull feel that ppl around u like someone who is not u and ull feel really sad.the best thing u can do is to accept urself and treasure the ppl who like u the way u r.

Answer 5

There's nothing wrong with being a loner. Everyone's different. If you don't want to be a loner, than of course you can become more outgoing! But make sure you don't try to turn into someone you're not - that never works and you'll be happier if you are true to yourself. The best thing to do is just get a tough skin - DON'T GET EMBARASSED OVER LITTLE THINGS. Talk to people in class, when you think of something funny the teacher does or if you need some help on something - don't be afraid. People are just people and when you think about it, they really can't do anything that should make you shy of them.

Some people are just quieter or shy, though - that's not a fault you have, it's just a characteristic and a lot of times the outgoing people should learn a thing or two from you, like how to shut up. :) Try to pick out people who seem to have things in common with you - maybe they're shy too (so there's no way they'll come up to you and talk, haha!), they are wearing a shirt with a band you like, or are struggling with books and could use some help carrying something. All kinds of things happen that are worth talking about, so just initiate conversation, act confident in who you are and people will pick up on the fact that you are comfortable in your own skin and they will want to be around you. :)

I had some trouble in middle school - kids picked on me and I was really shy. I ended up just changing schools when I went to high school, not really because of that but because of where we lived and stuff. When I started my new school, since no one knew me, I just acted like I knew exactly what I was doing socially and confident and that I liked being me...I ended up having a great time in high school. :)

Answer 6

I've struggled with this issue for most of my life, especially the past couple of years. I'm content and happy to be alone..but my Mom and a couple of my friends are very "needy". They know I do not like to talk on the phone...but they still call to chat and get offended if I don't return their calls.

They know I'm a stay at home type...but they still get offended if I don't call daily. They like to shop a lot, plan things...go places, I'm just not like that. I have a Husband and 3 kids..so I guess you could say I'm not really "alone", but I'm comfortable focusing on my family.

I like communication and reaching out to others to be on my terms.

I don't thing there's anything wrong with being a loner...it just doesn't fit into society. Family and friends will want more, more more...

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong with being a loner. I am one. I would much rather sit in my home and read a good book then go out with friends, who happen to be from work, as I don't go out otherwise.
If you truly want to stop being a loner, which I don't know why you would, but if you do. You need to have a friend that is "the life of the party" and they will have you go out with them. That's what happened to me. Even when I go out with them though, I still kind of sit in the background and enjoy being there, but also enjoy being the background.

Answer 8

Hi! I've been a loner all my life and never regretted it. I tried to change too, several times, and I hated it. Some of us are born to be loners and the sooner you accept that the better you will feel. Sure, it gets tough sometimes, but that's the way it is for everyone. If you're happy being alone, that's all that counts.Welcome to our club!

Answer 9

There is nothing at all wrong with being a loner. I tried to go against my natural way and be more of a people person for years when I was younger. When I accepted myself as being more of a loner is when I became more content and happy.

Answer 10

do not think there is ONE DAMN THING wrong with being a "loner" type person. I suppose it depends on if you are mentally healthy, but for the most part, the bottom line is this: each and everyone of us have qualities, mannerisms and whatnot, that make us feel or not feel comfortable around people. There are psychiatrists, counselors, and other "mental health" professionals who label, and categorize this as "unhealthy"----they are WRONG. The world consists of many different personalities/types; we cant all be the outgoing socialites.....that would be freeeeeking nuts.
Enjoy your solitude, I definitely enjoy mine. :)

Answer 11

If you're a loner, you're a loner. And there's nothing wrong with that.

But if you want to change it, you about have to jump in feet-first, so to speak. Just make sure you have a time and place that is your own. Meanwhile, you can try joining various volunteer groups and just plain getting out to meet people.