So the guy I'm dating has finally opened up to me and let me know that he is not ready for a commitment .. Im so shocked.. Anyways Now Im not sure what to do or how to let him know that I am still here for him and supprt his decsicion cause I still like him and want to be his friend. He asked me what I was thinking in regards to him not wanting a relationship at this time and Im bascially thinking WTF what do you want form me now. I did tell him that but Im not so sure if it is wise to continue talking to him or not. What would you do.. Please mature anwser only and thank you.
2007-01-08 02:43:23 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thank you for all your input everyone .. I know what I need to do know...kisses and hugs all
2007-01-08 03:10:40 · update #1
If you have taken a next step in this relationship, then I would reconsider everything.
If he wants the sex and no commitment, then you have to decide if that is enough for you.
I think I would find it degrading and it would hurt me emotionally.
what you have here, is "if I can get the goods free why pay for the groceries".. sort of attitude.
If you have not taken the next step then it is easier.
If you want a long term and he is not ready, do not push him. You will end up very disappointed if his heart is not in it.
It might be a good idea to let this one go. And about just being friends now, I doubt it very much.. It just is not a healthy thing especially if you were intimate with him.
If you want a commitment from someone, then you must look more carefully at the kind of guy you are dating.
If he is a bad boy and a flirt, forget it. You want someone more grounded who knows who they are and knows how to treat you with the respect you deserve.
You must decide and decide now before this goes any further.
My choice would be to leave him alone and find someone else....
2007-01-08 02:52:56 · answer #1 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ask him why he is not ready for a commitment and tell him that u want a reasnable answer, and if that doesnt work then just follow ur heart cuz if u really like this guy maybe u and him can workout a solution thats suitable for both of u. just remember that u should never change for any one no matter how much u like them unless u r changing into a better person and u should open up to him too and tell him how u feel about the decision he has made. i hope my advice works GOOD LUCK!!!!!
2007-01-08 10:56:19 · answer #2 · answered by i_love_me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cherry, at least he was honest enough to tell you he is not interested in commitment. So, do exactly as you said: be his FRIEND, and no further than that.
A lot of men say they are not ready for "commitment" but they want to eat the "cake". That's a common trick for which good girls fall, and in the end suffer a heartbreak.
Never believe a man that says that loves you if he is not willing to commit himself. If he wants the "cake" tell him to go to the supermarket.
2007-01-08 10:56:46 · answer #3 · answered by David G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a little confusing as first it appears he said he's not ready for commitment, then later he said he doesn't want a relationship at this time. He's been honest when a lot of guys wouldn't have been. Don't waste your time hoping for anything other than his friendship.
2007-01-08 10:49:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would really try to avoid him for now, and be cordial if he happened to approach me for something. If he decides he wants to get back together with you, choose to wait until you feel confident about it, if that ever even happens. Being friends right now would prolong the hurt and make things more difficult. Best to cut the ties for a little while anyway. He'll be okay. So will you.
2007-01-08 10:50:16 · answer #5 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doens't want a committment, DON'T GIVE HIM ONE. Don't promise you'll be there for him, don't tell him you'll wait for him. Get on with your life. If you show him you are spineless and will stick around even when he says he doesn't want a committment, then you have basically given him the green light to use you. Don't wait around.
You can be his friend, but feel free to start looking elsewhere for someone that IS ready for a relationship.
2007-01-08 10:47:47 · answer #6 · answered by KB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At least he was open to you and told you that he didn't want a commitment with you. Open your mind and your heart. He doesn't want you for a girlfriend.
I think that you must move on and don't let that experience to affect you. Just look for more friends and forget about him. Soon you will find a man who will really love you and want a lasting relationship with you, and whom you will really love too.
Good luck!!
2007-01-08 11:09:00 · answer #7 · answered by roxifoxiv 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im in the same situation that your in and i hate to say it is for the best maybe he just dont want to be as serious if you two did everything togather all the time im sure he wants to have time with his friends with out having someone gettin mad at him for you it should be the same for you what i did was just ignore that person for awhile its hard but do it it will get them thinkin of you cause you aint gonna be there like you were before and that will bring out their real emotion towards you i did it and now that person wants me to be her date and make a good impression for her friends at work i think that is a good sign love is hard but its fun if you make it gotta have some sort of challenge good luck.
2007-01-08 10:51:15 · answer #8 · answered by Confused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just give it time. take a break from the relationship to see how u feel when u guys are not together. and that will give him some times to think about his love for u. if he loves u he will commit to u because he wouldn't want to lose u. if he doesn't well u 'll just have to move on.
2007-01-08 10:49:45 · answer #9 · answered by ivelisse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well now that you know were he stands, will it hurt you to keep seeing him. You don't want to fall in love with him it will only hurt you more so if you can find a nice guy to date then let him go he might change his mind if he sees you are dating some one else. xx
2007-01-08 10:51:27 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋