My boyfriend is great- honestly, nothing like his parents (he spent a lot of time at his grandma's house)...
But I always feel like his step dad is looking down on me- like I am a little kid and he is smarter than me. His mom is so controlling. She doesn't ask us about anything- just assumes and does (she likes quilts, i hate quilts. she makes us like 2 quilts a year and doesn't care if it's not what we want).
They are constately making me feel like I'm stupid- when I know I'm not.
They spoil his daughter to no end- when they have already filed for bankruptsy! This Christmas- she NO JOKE got 20 some barbies. Then blames the girl's mother when it comes to her being spoiled.
My boyfriend has stood up for me here and there- but even HE gets pushed around. He tried telling them to cool it with buying so much and she basically told him no.
I love my boyfriend very much- and I see a great furture with him, but the parents make me want to just walk away sometimes. HELP PLEASE:(
2007-01-08 02:31:46 · 11 answers · asked by ilpbab 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I appreciate the gifts- the first quilt was great. The second was nice. The 3rd- ok where do I put it? We have a least 10 quilts from her. And they wouldn't be a problem if she didn't expect us to put them all over the house. They aren't my style- and she knows it. She is CONTROLLING people. I'm not liking being called a brat. I am as nice as I can be with these people. I try to do what I can to make everything great! I go that extra mile to make THEM happy. And it is our concern how much they buy his daughter. Because they buy her so much- she is spoiled. She hates coming to our house because we don't buy her stuff. She was mad at Cmas because we "only got her" 10 things. WHAT!? Look I've been making this work for almost 5 years now- Don't call me immature or bratty. I'm simply wondering what the crap to do to get them off our backs. Thanks to those of you who are actually being helpful. Ugh to those of you who act like you know me and insult me.
2007-01-08 03:36:05 · update #1
I think you need to distance yourselves from your boyfriends parents, sometimes you just can't get along with your in laws, it's one of those things, now when I say distance, I don't mean don't talk to them, I just mean spend less time around them, then the time you have to spend with them won't be so bad. I think your boyfriend needs to stand up to his controlling mother a bit more. But family comes as part of the package, just grin and bear it when you have to, and when you have to be around them just tell yourself its just a visit and you can go home at the end of it. As for them looking down their nose at you, look the problem is with them, not you, ignore it.
2007-01-08 02:37:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Family can be difficult, but not impossible. If you plan on marrying your boyfriend, you need to find a way to accept his family or you are going to be a very unhappy person. If there are issues, it is up to your boyfriend to deal with his family, not you.
I think it's sad that you don't appreciate the gifts she made for you. Quilts take a lot of time and work to make. I wonder why she would spend so much time making something so special, then give it to you, when you have such bad feelings for her?
You sound very young and immature from the comments you make. Why should you care what his sister gets for Christmas? His families finances are not your concern, they don't owe either of you an explanation for anything they decide to purchase.
I think you are overreacting and getting much more upset than you need to. If you can't change the way you feel about his family and they upset you this much, maybe the best thing you can do for everyone is walk away.
Good luck.
2007-01-08 03:21:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like it is right with this guy, don't let his parents ruin that for you. It isn't easy to find the right one these days. You guys need to try to seperate yourselves from them a little. Since they won't listen when speaking to them directly and asking them to stop, you have to take somewhat drastic measures. I don't know how often your boyfriend sees his parents or how often they see his daughter, but cut it back. When they start asking questions, let them know that because they could not respect your wishes, you have decided to not be around them so much. It may or may not work, but a relationship is not easy to keep together these days and you seem like you really want to make this work. You can talk until you are blue in the face, sometimes it takes more than talking to get through to people.
2007-01-08 02:39:02 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
(((Alarm))) Your b-friends parents are controlling. But Your dude is going to have to man up and run his own home. unless he still lives with them. Beside that. you also dont like the way they treat you. First I would call this to my man's attention and ask him to address it. if he doesnt address it . You know where you stand with him. Also if he does address it and it continues , then you have the right to address them and let them know that you feel discounted in your inteligence and what ever else area. Let them know how you feel. It will either open up a can of worms on why they are that way toward you. Or they will say they had no idea and treat you better, The quilts you will have to tell mama to chill on the quilts cause you have no more room and your going to have to start giving them away or if she likes making them so much sell em to your friends.. on the side., And the daughter. The grandparents financial situation is no concern of yours let them do what they do with there money.
2007-01-08 02:51:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Agreed. However, you dont want to get on their bad sides. Therefore, youve got to go about things carefully. Have you and your bf sit down together with them and discuss your feelings. This way, even if no rules change, you will at least understand for what purpose they have their rules. Give them the reasons why you two believe that the rules should be moderated... Youre both 1) adults 2) responsible 3) etc.... and see what happens. Hope that helps. :)
2016-05-23 10:07:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he live in their house?
If y'all are on your own, then I agree w/everyone else....just stay away. If you are still a kid and living at home I would suggest talking w/your natural father about the issues that you are having to see if he could help.
2007-01-08 02:43:59 · answer #6 · answered by slmynatt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to make a decision. Either you make it work with the guy and put up with his folks or you don't. They are his parents and unless he stops seeing them altogether then they are always going to be around.
2007-01-08 02:35:42 · answer #7 · answered by Bagpuss 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is who he is, and they are who they are. Spend as little time as possible with them. She is doing his daughter no favors by buying so much stuff. You can't buy love anyway. .....Your boyfriend needs to stand up for himself, or stay away from them.
2007-01-08 02:35:41 · answer #8 · answered by NAN G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is honestly not as bad as you're making it out to be. I can't believe you're complaining that his mom gives you gifts she thinks you will enjoy. That in itself is bratty; it's the thought that counts.
Also, how they spend their money and on whom is THEIR business, not yours, and should have no effect on how you feel about your boyfriend.
Perhaps his father looks down on you because he can tell you don't like them.
All in all, your situation really isn't that bad. I think you're being immature.
2007-01-08 02:52:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
Don't worry about the parents. All that matters is yall two. Just concentrate on that and it will all be fine!! Good luck sweetie!!
2007-01-08 02:40:11 · answer #10 · answered by Christina 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋