spiritually doomed?

Question

I served 16 years in the US Army, Special Forces. I have served 3 tours in Iraq and Afganistan from the onset of the war to present. The deaths, atrosities, mayhem, and destruction I have personally caused by my hand I fear will haunt me forever. There is no excuse for my actions. Oh yes, some would say, you only did what you were ordered to do but, spiritually I know that murder/killing is a sin. I'm at a quandary about ever receiving forgiveness. During the killing I was caught up in the moment and took great pleasure in what I was doing, almost boastful. For these feelings/actions I regret to this day. I have asked God for His forgiveness, but I believe I'm doomed spiritually. Maybe someone could offer some glimmer of hope by sending a scripture from the Holy Bible that would help with my salvation. If not, I understand no one likes a baby killer anyway, right?

I thank each and everyone of your answers. I believe I've come to the conclusion that I must return to the war and continue the fight for another tour. If I don't I can't stop thinking about another innocent soul taking my place and going through the same level of torment I'm living. God Bless you all. I'm sorry I can't pick a favorite answer, because they are all great. Now let me go get some more.

Answer 1

as i am not a Christian , i cant give you what you need to hear
i can only offer a little advice of my own
and when people say to me HELL , i truely believe that we put ourself there....and in this life
and i believe you have put yourself there , you have carried this guilt and have paid for anything you feel you have done wrong
attonement is that what it is called ?
please dont carry this any more , set yourself free from that hell
because it sounds like you have learned from this , become more spiritual since this ... and that was quite a different person then
God wont hate you or punish you ... i am sure

Answer 2

Friend, There is only one unpardonable sin, & that is sinning aginst the Holy Ghost, & Friend, you have not done that, In Ecclesiates 3:1-8 But mainly verse 3 & 8 A time to kill & a time to heal-------8: A time to love & a time to hate, a time of war & a time of peace, Verse 1 says TO EVERY THING there is a season, & a time to every purpose under the heaven. I know many military people it can have an impact, but there is forgiveness for you, I am not aware if you are a Christian, if not God will save you, The moment you spoke of the first person you killed you were boastful, Friend, ask yourself why you were, You heard the blood of the 3000 people that were killed on 9/11. Many says does Blood speak, yes, The Blood of Abel Cried out. I know it can be hard on you, But you were in the scriptures to do what needed to be done. If you think God don't see your hurt, he does, & there is hope for you, God knew why things was done, so just turn it all over to God, & don't listern to other people, God know we are at war. Friend there is hope for you no matter what people may say Or satan may try. If you are not a Christian, God still loves you & will forgive you. You are not doomed spiritually.

Answer 3

I can see this is really eating at you. In your religion, you're questions can really be a challenge. When I was a Christian I couldn't understand the question of forgivness either. Even if I said I was sorry, how did God really know.

As I moved away from religion and tried to find answers for myself, I now feel that the universe is not so traumatized by death as humans are. Every day in nature things are born and things die. Look at the Tsunami. I believe that from the day of your birth you were destined to killed those that you did and learning to deal with it is also your destiny. We learn to evaluate all situations as good or bad, instead of just events in the story of our life.

I have no religion but I do believe in being the best I can be. I wasn't always like this but when I knew better, I did better. Same for you my friend. You did what you did then, now that you know better and feel differently then live your life to be the best person you can be. That will be your legacy. Make saving lives your goal. Reach out. Believe you me your experince is for some great purpose. Even if its to help others going through the same emotions as yourself.

Don't dwell to much in your mind. Meditate, breath, release.

Peace to you

Answer 4

I can understand your feelings as I have had them also. I have not killed as you have but I have done it in my heart many times. If you will read the Gospels you will find when Jesus was on the cross He said a prayer for those that were putting Him to death. "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." Even in the very act of the murder of the Creator of the Universe, Jesus was asking for them to be forgiven. At least one of the centurians was sincere and wanted that forgiveness and I do believe he will be in Heaven. Though we should never take pleasure in killing another human being regardless of what the circumstance, being human there are times that we may fall for that and feel good about it at the time, but later will not be so glad about it as you have found. When you ask God for forgiveness and believe He has forgiven you, go on and do good work then and believe you have been forgiven and you will be saved. Accept that forgiveness and go on to be the person you know God wants you to be. let me know if you would like to converse more or get some direct quotes from the bible and I will be glad to help you. God bless you.

Answer 5

It is true, you have no excuse for your actions. You are also taking responsibility for your actions - which is also good. You must fully accept all you have done and what you currently feel.

But you are not doomed. The ticket to the future is always open. We can always change. It does not matter what we have done, it is who we are (now).

If who you are now could not do what you have done...you are not the same person. If you have changed, let go of regret and forgive yourself. There is no point in punishing yourself if the lessons of life are already learned. When you learned to ride a bike, you may have fallen a dozen times before you could say on the bike - but you don't condemn yourself for the dozen times you fell...you praise the time you stayed up.

God heard you ask for forgiveness and He gave it, but now you must forgive yourself so you can receive God's forgiveness. As long as you insist on not forgiving yourself, you reject God's forgivenes.

You are forgiven. Be at peace.

~ Eric Putkonen

Answer 6

What someone did in the past, before their conscience kicked in .....is forgiveable.
Please note Isaiah 1:18-19
“Come, now, YOU people, and let us set matters straight between us, though the sins of YOU people should prove to be as scarlet, they will be made white just like snow; though they should be red like crimson cloth, they will become even like wool.
If YOU people show willingness and do listen, . . ."
That is God talking!
Please note the condition: IF you show willingness and listen.
That means when God sees a sincere, contrite heart ......He is
willing to forgive.
He forgave the Apostle Paul (when known as Saul)
Read about the terrible things Saul did at
Acts 8:3
Acts 9:1,2
Acts 26:10.
Something you should know:
Willingly, or not, you were caught up in the system of things.
1 John 5:19 says the whole world (the system) is lying in the power of the wicked one.
Wouldn't you say the world reflects more what we know of Satan's personality, than God's?
You now have a window of opportunity to throw that influence from of your back.

Answer 7

Your not doomed at all. Gods mercy far out weighs sin. Scripture even tells us that there's a time for war and a time for peace. (Ecclesiastes 3:8) God often times has sent His people to war. In fact, King David was honored by his countrymen for having killed tens of thousands of people.. (1 Samuel 18:7). Moses killed a man too.(Exodus 2:14).

Gods mercy is overwhelming. No sin is too great for Him to forgive.

Answer 8

We are each responsible for our own actions. Just because you go back does not mean you are saving an innocent soul.

Killing is a sin, period. However, if you truly regret and repent and wish for forgiveness, refrain from killing again, and do what you can to atone. You are your own hope. Remember that God forgives if you truly repent. You have find your way to forgive yourself.

Answer 9

The Bible says thou shalt not murder. Not thou shalt not kill.
The Lord Jesus Christ has killed many ENEMIES. He will kill many more. 1John1:9" If we name our sins He is just and righteouss to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness".
He also said that their will be wars and rumors of wars until He ruturns.
You are not spiritually doomed. Guilt is a sin. Name it. He forgives. God is greater than your sin.
I will see you in Heaven. I am confident of that.
You have eternal security." ..by grace are you saved through faith ,it is a gift of God not of works, lest any man should boast".
God is gracious, He loves you. Look up the web site on my source.Order some of the free books and tapes available. One of the books is Freedom through Military Victory.
God loves ya and "soda I".
Peace out.

Answer 10

There is hope, if you repent and ask God to forgive you of all your sins and ask Jesus to become your personal savior. The fact that t5his is bothering you shows that you are sorry about it. God is waiting for you to come to Him and ask for forgiveness and accept His sons sacrifice for your sins. I would suggest you begin going to church and reading the bible, you can have a good life and be useful to God.

Answer 11

Romans 10 has great hope... read it!

And that message is the very message about faith that we preach: If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved. As the Scriptures tell us, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be disgraced.” Jew and Gentile are the same in this respect. They have the same Lord, who gives generously to all who call on him. For “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, “How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!”

but it isnt 'just' believing, it is entrusting your very life to Christ... repenting those things we have done in the past... once we ask and receive that Grace, our sins are washed away and God does not see them

1 John 1:8-10
If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.

many times we ourselves cannot forgive our own actions even tho God has forgiven us thru the Blood of Christ. seek out God thru His very word... believing that He will show you Truth in it. the memory of our sin keeps us humble, knowing what Christ took upon himself for us... and we can teach many lessons thru those things we have been thru.... keep seeking Him, and He will bless you!