Is This Being Insecure??

Question

My boyfriend and I seem to be misunderstanding or misinterperting each other. He called last night at 6:15 to say that he was on his way. He only lives 30 minutes from me. I called him at 7:15 to ask him if he wanted me to cook dinner and he said fine at which point he told me that he would be to me shortly. By 7:50 I started to grow a little impatient and a little worried and I called him and asked him where was he and he snapped at me and asked me why did I need to know, he said he was on his way. He didn't show up until 8:20. He seemed to have an attitude when he got to me but I tried to lighten the mood and ask him about his day and which point he felt I was being insecure and just trying to investigate what he had been doing all day. He was way off, what was I doing wrong? I mean what's insecure about expecting someone not to take two hours for a trip that you know only takes 30 min. & how was it insecure to ask what he did that day? He told me I was getting on his nerves

I should be able to just make conversation and say well did you do this and that today. He said I was acting like columbo and he was getting tired of being acting so insecure, but what was so insecure about it. Can I not have a conversation and not be accused of trying to catch him up in something? He always asks me things and then freaks out because he thinks I'm lying, what's up with that? I try to talk to him but he just said it's not open for debate. I know I can't change what he thinks or how he feels but I desperately need to know what I should do to make things better and to not seem so insecure.

Answer 1

I'm sorry, but you should stop being such a doormat. He's a grown man, and he's probably fine, so stop worrying about whether or not he's dead and lying in a ditch somewhere. Ask him what time he'll be over, and if he's not there within 15 or 20 minutes of the specified time, LEAVE THE HOUSE. Do not be there waiting for him, and most certainly do not reward his bad (thoughtless) behavior by calling him and offering to cook him dinner on top of it!

Have some self-respect if you want him to show any respect for you!

P.S. If he thinks you're lying to him, it's because HE'S lying to YOU. People don't look under the bed unless they've hidden there themselves. Ditch him.

Answer 2

I don't think that shows you are being insecure just concerned . Something could have happened and if you were going to the trouble of fixing him dinner the least he could have done was to call you and let you know what was going on . I think he was the one who should have apologized for that . Let me ask you this , when he did not show up on time were you thinking he may have been meeting someone else , does this happen a lot ? I am a guy and I hate to have someone not show up when they say they will , I know that he can say that he does not owe you an explanation for being late but if he truly cared he would want to tell you .

Answer 3

Do you trust him or not?? Why do you feel you had to ask round about questions to find out what he was doing? Has something happened before? If not, then let it go. Trust your man if you're going to trust him. If you've had a problem in the past then it's your fault for choosing to stay if you were going to have questions everytime he runs late. Maybe something happened!Maybe he was cheating. Maybe you'll never know. But DO YOU TRUST HIM OR NOT???? IF he wasn't doing anything and you kept calling him to ask silly or annoying questions then I would have been aggravated too,maybe wouldn't have come at all. So, yes you are being insecure. Stop before you lose your man. Unless he is someone that you should lose. Only you really know that.

Answer 4

You are not being insecure at all. You are more than likely going to regret ever being involved with someone who acts and communicates the way you explained. If this is how you want to live and be treated I feel badly for you. I suggest finding a real man or if you are young, then find a good young man. This nut is freaky.........

Answer 5

Your boyfriend is cheating on you that is why he doesnt want to you to ask him what he has been doing but he is feeling guilty about it.The fact that he cheats,he thinks you can do the same.Try not to bother whether he comes early or not and dont ask what he has been doing.You will see he will still find fault with you for not asking.

Answer 6

if he was involved in something and time flew by he should have no problem telling you what he was doing it does seem like there is some insecurity going on here but it is not you he sounds like he cant be trusted and i think you should investigate his crap and see what he is tryin to pull if he is tryin to hide what he is doing then he is probably up to no good

Answer 7

thats not being insecure. there is a thing called blame-shifting that men do. You should feel no guilt about wondering where he was. his reaction was simply to make you feel guilty so he could justify being 35 minutes late

Answer 8

WOW! You might want to check up on him and do a little investigating because he sounds like a cheater!!! Check his cell phone and car for anything unusual. If you can, check his bedroom.

Answer 9

Eeee... doesn't sound like you're insecure, more like worried and rightfully so. Did he ever answer what took him so long? If not, the snapping at you makes it seem like he has something to hide.

Answer 10

You, my dear, are being taken for granted. He is lying to you and doing his best to show you that you are not important to him. I would start shopping for a new man if I were you. If he is bothered by that, he will pay you more attention and stop taking you for granted. If he isn't bothered by that, then there is no loss.