My boyfriend wants to cheat?

Question

I was browsing my boyfriends laptop yesterday when I saw his msn history report (a folder that keeps all records of his msn messages)

In it I found that he was still chatting to his ex whom he for me , he was asking her to come over to live him him from france, he still tells her he loves her and that he misses her and cant wait to see her again. AS U CAN IMAGINE IT WAS VERY HARD FOR me having to read all that, I mean I understand that he misses her mayb he wants to be with her afterall, I can only move on after that, But I dont even know how to tell him I know about it, I just find it do hard now to even kiss him or do anything with him cause I know what he has been up to, I asked him last night if he still talks to her he denied all this. what should I do (apart from leaving him of coz cause thats what ill be doing) but how do i let him know.

I wasnt excatly reading his emails, I was browsing received files cause I was looking for the pictures I had sent him. SO technically it wasnt even his messages. another thing why its hard for me to tell him is because He has been out of work for 2 months he is starting his new job today so u can imagine he has been stressed out, so the last thin I want to do is put more pile to his worries.

and yes the emails are very recent..last was 03/01/07

Answer 1

dont worry about his worries because right now he's just lovin' the one he's with (you) until she comes back. You should let him know how you found the messages and tell him that your better than that, and go on with your life.

Answer 2

Yes, i know how hard you have to be taking it. Me and my girlfriend have been through the same thing. We have been dating 11 months and the first 4 i was talking to other girls, one of them my ex, and saying the same stuff to them.

What you need to do right now is confront him about it. Longer you wait the worse you will feel and hesitate. Confront him and tell him how you feel and what he did/is doing to make you feel that way. If you are for sure without a doubt leaving him let him konw. But tell him because if you love him, still want to be with him, or whatever ask him if he dont talk to her anymore. May seem harsh but thats what needs to happen if you want to save the relationship.

Me and Sally (my GF) have done that. She told me and at first I didnt see why i should have to stop, to give it up but i love her so I did. Then very soon after I saw why it was wrong, why I shouldnt have said thosee things. Even if I didnt mean it.

Im not saying you should leave or stay but if you still want to be with him. Tell him now. If he refuses, leave him, because you wont be able to trust him again because of what he did. If he says he'll stop and change, maybe consider another chance, watch him closely and explain how your trust has been blown away and what he's going to have to do to slowly earn it back.

-Ryan

People do change.

Answer 3

Basically guys dont admit faults even mistakes until it is hard to swallow the pill of guilt. from your question you really love him, i expect both of you to share certain things in common your browsing through his msn history should be common thing shared by both of you. Nevertheless show more love to him, at your leisure time with him, tell him how you feel and what you saw. Dont use harsh words, use your head now and not your heart. I believe the success of every relationship is mutual understanding. I wish you all the best

Answer 4

1. What was the date on the file? could it have been old news?
2. If you admit you were browsing in his computer, doesn't matter if it was history or email you ,have no business there and he can't trust you ever again.
3.Boyfriends CAN"T cheat.. cheaters are married men.. not even fiancees can be considered cheaters there is no contract between you nobody vowed to leave others alone.. You are living with him and he could walk out today and you could do nothing about it.

Answer 5

Last thing you should be worried about is his stress, look what he has put on you. He got caught and since you are going to leave him anyways then it shouldnt matter if he knows that you looked through his messages. He should have never done it in the first place. Do NOT let him put any blame on you.

So what if you were snooping, he is in the wrong. And if you never snooped then you would have never found out and he would have kept doing it.

Answer 6

Sweetie, I hate to tell you this but what you found is a clear evidence that he is cheating.

Cheating is not only a physcial act, but it includes verbal and emotions too. Your boyfriend is physically with you, but his heart is in France.

Can you imagine what will happen if the lady from France returns?

Talk to him calmly, not arguing. It is better to split in peace, than fighting. And even though breaking up will hurt you, it is better that he goes away so you can find yourself someone who really love and value you as the beautiful person you really are.

Answer 7

initially -- this does not sound good in any respect. You adult adult males offered a house jointly, which many times potential protection with one yet another, yet no longer subsequently. If he's emailing different female approximately assembly up with them and characteristic no longer recommended you approximately this.... it ought to ok propose he's cheating. i think of you are able to desire to confront him previously this is going too some distance. I propose, you have already have been given the homestead... don't get married if something is going on with him. locate out! you have a best to comprehend. good success.

Answer 8

if he still say's that to his ex i would say that there is possibly more then jest words being exchanged and my advice to you is drop him like a bad habbit if a guy carries feelings for another woman then its jest a ticking time bomb and its not healthy for you to have to worry about that crap if he loves you then he should only love you and not give a crap about another woman. well i hope i helped you out in this thought why put up with crap you can prove and know is going on he does not need to know the real reason for you splitting up could say its jest not working and leave it at that or can go into details and tell him you was looking for pictures and came across it not meaning to .. well good luck

Answer 9

So, you went through his computer, found some stuff you can't explain, and now he is the bad guy cause you were snooping through his stuff. Hmmmm......something wrong about that. Maybe if you didn't snoop through ALL of his stuff, you wouldn't have the problem. But, if you are worried about the girl who is THOUSANDS of miles away, leave him.

Answer 10

Either way, it is still cheating,,,or trying and wanting to cheat. You can't let his problems with employment make you feel bad for him. Cheating is cheating. As for how to tell him, no need to hide it. You saw it in writing and he still denied it when you asked him. That is deception. You will teach him a valuable lesson when you confront him.