What to buy a girl 'friend' for her birthday?

Question

I am a guy in my late twenties who has the following predicament. I often start my relationships as friendships and then push the envelope. My bad luck is that for the third time now the girl has a birthday in the very early days - and I need to decide what to buy.

I can buy a 'friend's gift (e.g. book/cd) and forfeit my chances as a lover or I can buy a 'girlfriend' gift (e.g. jewlery) but risk overplaying my hand.

In the past two instances, I had two opposite results: one girl jumped into a relationship and another freaked out and iced the friendship. I don't want to lose this one or freak her out but on the other hand, I don't want her to think I am an uncaring cheap-skate.

So, what am I to get for a fun, smart and all-round great person with whom I currently have an ambiguous relationship with?

(While the ideal answer would be a joint experience - such as a golf outing with lessons plus picnic, hot air balloon, etc. - I cannot do so as I will be in another city)

Help me!

It seems that no onw understands my dilema. It is not simply what to buy, but rather what is something that can pass as both a friend's gift and a suitor's gift - I need an original, interesting gift that lies on the border between friend and more than friend...

Answer 1

This seems like a sincere question to me. However, I want to answer to your question and hope you think about my answer very hard, before following my advise. I don’t know if I could help you or not, but I think I will give it a try.

You were saying, “I often start my relationships as friendships and then push the envelope.”
I don’t like this part, but I appreciate you tell us up front about yourself. It tells me you like to have relationships for your benefit. This was a wrong thing to do. Your attitude of start relationships with everyone was wrong.

You were also saying; “My bad luck is that for the third time now the girl has a birthday in the very early days.”
This is old as dirt. Some girls would find a boyfriend right before their birthday sometime. You can guess it why. You already experience it and you need to think about this on your own. I might be wrong about all your girls, but you will know better after her birthday. Try to not buy her anything big. Just give her a nice card that you get from the store, take her out to the movie and maybe popcorn. If this girl is for real to you then the relationship will last without a big birthday gift. Your main key is keep everything simple and have a respect for her. Both, in the conversation and action, keep it simple.

You should start and productive in relationship with both side having things in comments, and benefit both sides, not with a gift and something in return.

Answer 2

A book you really like is a good idea. That way she has a better idea of your interests and you're sharing a personal experience with her, almost like you're disclosing something private with her. Its low key and has a personalized touch that jewlery just can't buy.

Answer 3

men this is easy you love her you don't want to scar her or make her thing that you are carless so if you had told us how long have you been in a relationship with her then it would have been a go answer but now you can but her a cuple of things one your heart, two a beautiful red rose with a neckless on it, or buy her choclates which is all some thing you could give her and all you have to do is give her truely it works believe me gie her with love but it does not nessesary have to be an abject it could be some thing more like your self the best thing you could ever give a person so helpyourself

Answer 4

The perfume you should get is "Unforgivable” it has a clean fresh scent that will have everybody wondering where you got it from because it smells clean and it doesn't have a strong scent that'll make you sneeze. Trust me this is the 1.

Answer 5

I would go low key on this if you're just friends. A low key gift shouldn't scare her away. On the other hand, if you buy her something romantic and she doesn't have the same feelings, that might scare her away.

The ideas you mentioned, cd, book are neutral enough.

Then, if you like her, play hard to get! Women like that. Good luck!

Answer 6

I wouldn't go with jewelry so early like some people suggested. I would have a nice bouquet of flowers send to her office with a nice card with a "day at the spa" attached. While she is spending her day at the spa I will guarantee she will be thinking of u and your thought- fullness. Good luck. Take it slow and easy, watch her reactions of when to move further with her, u will know then when the right time will be. :-)

Answer 7

Go to Harry and David's online and order something to be delivered to her on her birthday. Try a cake, cheesecake, birthday tower or some cheesecake petit fours. My personal favorite for this situation would be the Moose Munch cheesecake: http://www.harryanddavid.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/BECProductDisplay?langId=-1&storeId=10051&catalogId=10002&categoryId=15&category=TC15&productId=54275&topCat=Desserts+%26+Bakery&subCat=Cheesecakes

Send a card with it that says something casual and light like "Sorry I couldn't be there to help you celebrate, but have fun Munching out! Happy Birthday, from (your name)"

Answer 8

Send her a beautiful bouquet of red roses to her house and invited her for dinner in a nice restaurant.

Answer 9

i have the answer to your prob (i had the same prob and this worked great) simply get her a card and write in it that you are gonna take her out for dinner and movie/whatever for her present she most likely will love the gesture and will love even more that you remembered

Answer 10

A Giftcard to Starbucks! If she doesn't like coffee she can get tea or cake or chocolate. it is thoughtful but not too over the top.