Should I stay or leave?

Question

there is this girl who is only 16 and she is saying that my bf who is 20 the same age as me is her babys father. He did cheat on me with her 2 years ago and he does talk to her every now and then and they use to be real close. Well she had a baby like 2 weeks ago and now is saying that it is his but when I confronted him about it he said that he never slept with her and that the baby is not his. But I don't know what to believe b/c he has lied about him and her in the past. I have tried to break up with him but he just doesn't want to let go. He want leave me alone he keeps telling me that she is lieing and that he doesn't want her. But I don't know what to do. any one ever stuck by their man while this was going on let me know. I'm so confussed right now.

Answer 1

You need to walk away and never look back. The fact that you even have to question the relationship is your evidence that it's only a matter of time before it will be over anyways.

In spite of that, however, I definitely would not be giving much weight to what she is saying unless and until DNA provides PROOF that this baby is your bf's.

Even beyond the proof though, there are some severe trust issues in your relationship and you should never have to be left to wonder what the hell your man has been up to. At the very least take about a month break from him and see how you feel after that. Lay down the rules for the break firmly and if he still can't abide it really is time to let go. He sounds like he just might be a little bit of a playa...

Answer 2

Just tell him to get out of your life and don't answer his calls or open his letters or read he emails. He will get the hint. The only reason he won't leave you alone now is because he knows you will take him back because you always do. Chances are, if he "does talk to her every now and then" that there is more going on (and if you think there is......there is......but you already know that). If he doesn't have the respect for you to not talk to the girl that he cheated on you with then he is not worth your time. Once a person breaks that trust they have to earn it back and if he doesn't understand that then move on girl. There really are men out there that are good to their women, that don't lie, and don't cheat. I know at times it doesn't seem like it, but there are. Leave that boy alone.....you are worth so much more. Who cares if the baby is his, he has cheated on you so it is time for you to move on and ignore all of his attempts to get back with you. Be strong....it will get easier.

Answer 3

You should leave. You'll never fully trust him again and you'll always wonder. If you want to stay, get a blood test. If he's being honest, you have to truly forgive him for the past indiscretion. If you can't do that, leave now.

I wanted to add something too... I cheated on my fiance once. I got caught and we split up. I missed her and realized what I had lost. I saw the error of my ways and have since made it right. It's not ALWAYS "once a cheater, always a cheater" although I will admit it's true more often than not. I'm just saying, give the guy a second chance. After that, if it happens again, boot his ***.

Answer 4

thats bad... better leave him or you will die in confussion and besides if a guy lied to you twice how can you say that hes not lying now. Maybe he loves you or maybe he just dont want to take responsibilities from her so he has to stuck with you. Make use of your intuition and see what is best for you... dont put yourself in trouble, let him fix the problem first.

Answer 5

he lied once to you. he can very well be lying again now. you either trust him (which you cannot since his is a lier) or you don't (agree with you 100% - once a cheater, always a cheater).

If you love him and you will remain with him you will always have your doubts. Ask him to do a DNA Test. If he's not the father he will agree. And if he's not the father and this girl is lying, then she will not agree to have her kid do a DNA test.

Good luck, but i wish you just pack and leave this guy who has cheated on you already. I am sure you deserve to have a better guy than this.

Answer 6

i feel...you should sit down and ask yourself, do you deserve this from your guy or any guy for that matter. as a guy, i can say we are capable of many things esp if a gal is throwing herself onto a guy. so if your gut feeling is telling you that he is lier and a cheat, leave him with no regrets. but mind you, if your love is strong and true, this situation wil not bother you abit. think through of all the signs that are before you, analyse each and every1 of it and ask yourself again, should you be wasting your time and love for a guy like him. i know i wont!! i believe you deserve better. my 2cents worth

Answer 7

Ask for a DNA test on the baby. If it turns out to be your bf's child then you know what to do. It's up to you to forgive him or let him go.

Answer 8

if he cheated on you with a 14 year old when he was 18 one, rape and two shes knocked up I say find out if it really is his kid with a pat. test and then go from there and ask yourself if the love you two share strong enough to take this. Good Luck.

Answer 9

it is as simple as some have already answered. if it means enough to you, have him prove that he is not the father. if he refuses to prove it or drags it on for a long time, then drop him, he is obviously lying. if he proves he is not the father and you love him, give him another chance. if he is the father, you'd be asking for alot of heartache and misery if you stayed with him......for all the obvious reasons.

Answer 10

I'd leave. Even if he was telling the truth, the amount of drama and headaches that will eventually come with this will kill the relationship eventually anyway.