i always argue with my boyfriend over stupid stuff but it just recently started. i dont know how to approach him with a problem that i have with whatever hes doing without it ending up in an arguement. HELP.. How should i approach him with problems that im having???
2007-01-08 00:53:05 · 16 answers · asked by alaina 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have the same problem and let me tell you there is no easy way to stop it.
What was really helpful to me was when someone took me aside and told me that EVERYONE fights with their partners in a normal relationship, and many have a tiff every single day. I think it was that realisation that made me begin to think of it less seriously and see it not as the potential end of our relationship, but as something that happens that is small and not enough to worry about.
When a fight comes up, and its over small stuff I approach it like this:
1. Is this worth arguing over?
2. If I dont bring this issue up will it affect me deeply?
3. Is all the pain the argument will cause really worth getting this small stupid thing off my chest?
If no, dont bother... talk about the really significant stuff sure, but the small stuff aint worth it honey. Not everything needs to be brought up every time.
2007-01-08 01:01:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG! i went through the same problem months ago. (we have broken up sense then) but I can give you advice on how to handle it:
1. Someone has to be the bigger person and stop the conversation from becoming into a fight. If he insists to argue then you should not say anything and just walk away, get a breather (smoke a cigarette).
2. Somebody say SORRY! that was the problem in my relationship, we had to much pride and insisted that what we were saying was right. relationships are all about compromise.
3. Try and not to sweat the small stuff, i know that sounds hard so you BOTH have to work at it. My ex boyfriend and me once fought over who is going to open the door (it gets worst than that believe me). We made a big issue over it and didnt speak for days, we reconciled but we were both exhasted by the tension and you dont need to go through that.
As I said before relationships about compromise. He has to learn to say sorry and you have to learn to say sorry. Learn it fast, or otherwise when i real topic comes between you, you wont be able to handle it. and I honestly say GOOD LUCK
2007-01-08 01:02:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been through the exact same thing. Basically, there is no getting around it. If it is something little, you'll either get over it or get used to it. I for example, have been arguing with my bf for 2 years now, and it just starting getting better when he actually started listening, but I was (supposedly) always the one starting the argument by "complaining." If your trying to tell him something that you don't like about him that you want to change and that turns into an argument, he's either letting you know he don't care what you sayin, or that he aint gonna change. Heck it could be both. Either way, you can't just stop.
PS- It doesn't matter how you tell him, the reaction is going to be the same either way
2007-01-15 12:29:21 · answer #3 · answered by The One 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to have a sit down conversation that is calm and at the first sign of an argument brewing stop the conversation and both of you calm down.
Wish you had mentioned what the problem was, as i could have answered this question somewhat better.
2007-01-08 00:57:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
guy woman struggling with one among those 3 has were given to flow. Then there'll be peace. in consumer-friendly words you are able to pick. If both of you likes the struggling with more effective than the different human being - there's no courting. in case you both love one yet another more effective than the struggling with - supply up. in case you are able to't, try professional counseling. If that doesn't artwork, then you definitely do not love one yet another more effective than struggling with.
2016-12-28 09:32:11 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello there, fights and love, never are together. If it's gotten to real yelling and stuff, You aren't in love with him anymore. Ones fight is in love, then it is over. I think that someone is trying to gain control. So it's up to you to decide weather to keep him or dump him.
Bye bye
Good luck!!!
2007-01-15 16:36:36 · answer #6 · answered by Ravie l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously...just dump him and move on. Life is way too short to put up with crap, there are plenty of dudes out there. Stop dealing with the BS and find a decent guy!
2007-01-08 00:58:27 · answer #7 · answered by E W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the real issue is, you don't like what he's doing. If that's the case, either accept him, or find someone else. If you decide to stay with him, then pick and choose your issues, don't focus on every little thing he does.
2007-01-08 00:57:55 · answer #8 · answered by grandm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fights and Love, never are together. Ones that are in Love, "Disagree"? But if it's gotten to real yellin' and stuff? You ain't in Love with him. Someone is tryin' to gain control. Deal or No Deal!
2007-01-08 00:56:27 · answer #9 · answered by Goggles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depend on the problem, it really sounds like your both frustrated have some good sweaty sex maybe outside, make it a little dangerous, like on the hood of your car while your, in the middle of a big traffic jam...................................................
2007-01-08 00:58:45 · answer #10 · answered by WURSTNGHTMARE61 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋